She He It Them They
by Kalerin
Summary: A simple prank backfires, turning Harry Potter into a girl. Now he has to go through his final year of Hogwarts as a femal Slytherin. How will he cope when what he once thought was true turns out false? And what happens when he doesn't think things out
1. SHITT

Whistling, Harry was just about to take a large bite of his sandwich when an explosion rocked the house. He winced as the dust settled and shouting could be heard. The words were muffled and indistinct but he already knew what had happened. Sirius had tried something new and now Remus was screaming at him. For just a moment the seventeen year old chuckled. How he was going to hold on to his sanity once he moved in for good was beyond him. Although he was a little excited. After all, his godfather had taught him so much already. How much more would he learn after this final school year?

"Master turned whole room gold," Kreacher muttered as he wandered through. He visibly perked up when he saw Harry. While it was true the old house elf utterly loathed Sirius and, to a lesser extent, Remus it was also true that he utterly loved Harry. After all, Harry had been the first to show the ancient elf true kindness.

"What happened?" Harry asked but there was a small smirk in the corners of his mouth. Kreacher frowned at that. The elf had learned long ago learned that Harry had a prank side that matched or even exceeded Sirius's. Whenever there was that slight smirk it meant he had done something.

"Master was mixing potion," Kreacher said slowly, waiting for the smirk to bloom fully. "He add last potion and cauldron exploded. Now whole room look gold. As does Master and the wolf." The smirk was still there.

"What was the potion for?" Harry asked, sinking onto the couch. He played with his sandwich slightly, the smirk never fading. He knew the elf was suspicious by now but also knew he had nothing to worry about. Kreacher would never betray him. Sirius, oh yeah, he would be betrayed in a second. Remus, well, it would probably be two seconds. But Harry? Not in a million years.

"Potion for prank," Kreacher said, a slight smile on his own face. He was starting to figure it out. "Used to dye a person's hair. Master planned on using it on his favorite targets." Harry took a bite of his sandwich and arched his brow in a silent question. "Master Harry was on the list to be pranked." The smirk grew but wasn't full blown quite yet.

"Something must have gotten into the potion," the boy said easily. He didn't even notice that he was slipping into his other personality. His real one. Not the smiling, happy, reckless, selfless Boy-Who-Lived that most everyone saw. No, that was the Griffindor side that he showed freely. What had that bloody Malfoy said? Oh yeah, wearing his heart on his sleeve. If only the blonde prat knew. The real Harry only got to come out when he was totally alone. Well, then and with Kreacher. The real Harry who should have been in Slytherin. That's who he was just then.

Suddenly Harry sat up. "Oh, I almost forgot," he said as his smirk finally grew the rest of the way. He reached over and picked up a small jar before handing it to Kreacher. "Thanks for letting me borrow these." The elf looked at the jar and realized it was the mushrooms Harry had asked for earlier. Honestly, the old elf didn't know what the boy could want with them. They were totally inedible. In fact, they were only good for adding to fireworks. Or perhaps, just perhaps, for exploding potions.

"Master Harry is true Slytherin," Kreacher said with pride, putting all the pieces together. Harry just kept smirking as he ate his sandwich. When he heard footsteps he motioned for Kreacher to go. He didn't want Sirius screeching again.

Harry tried, he really did, but he couldn't stop from bursting out in laughs when Sirius came into view. Kreacher was right; the man looked like a golden statue. Even his eyes were gold!

"Ha-ha," his godfather said sarcastically though inside he was laughing as well. "Don't know what you did to the potion brat but I will in time." Harry doubted that; the only way was to learn from Kreacher. Sirius would never be that desperate. Besides, Kreacher would keep his secret. "Oh but don't worry Harry. I'll get back at you. You may be branching into the Marauder world but you don't know what I'm capable of." Harry just smirked before he resumed eating his sandwich. Luckily his godfather and Remus knew of Slytherin Harry, as this personality was called, and they accepted it. That was great since Harry really didn't like acting around those he cared for.

…...

Harry nearly snorted as Remus glared at him. It was dinner time and the two men were still gold looking. Of course, Kreacher had been adding insult to injury, commenting that they looked like misshapen statues better suited for the garden. Harry had seemed to ignore that remark but the smirk on his face somewhat gave away his true thoughts.

As he ate dinner the boy started thinking about the upcoming school year. He'd heard that recently a lot of muggles had suddenly gained magic and as such there would be a lot of new students and not all of them would be eleven. There were also a lot of really old and powerful families who were suddenly revealing children that had before been unknown. Throw in the fact that Voldermort was still out there and the result was that Hogwarts was going to become a place of pure chaos.

A roll suddenly glanced off his head, making Harry turn to Remus. "You've got your Slytherin face on," the werewolf informed him. He and Sirius didn't mind at all but the Weasleys had this annoying habit of dropping in unexpectedly. The two men knew Harry really didn't want anyone else knowing about the other side of him.

Really, he mused as Harry seemed to melt back into his mask, it wasn't like Harry actually had multiple personalities. More like he had himself and then he had a part. An act. A mask. That's all the world saw him as. That's all he'd let them see him as. Oh yes, there were parts of Harry that were strictly Griffindor. The courage, the loyalty, and the genuine care for others. But he was so much more like a Slytherin. In fact, Remus couldn't fathom why Harry had begged not to go there. True, being in Griffindor offered opportunities that Slytherin never would have gotten but it made the boy miserable. Ron and Hermione were the only reason he stayed at all anymore.

And, well, honestly Malfoy was the only reason Harry avoided Slytherin at all.

Harry noisily gulped his juice, wondering where Sirius was. Probably working on his revenge. Remus had just opened his mouth to scold Harry on his manners when the boy hiccupped. Only, it wasn't an actual hiccup. In the blink of an eye a very shapely, very naked, girl sat where Harry had been. Her green eyes went wide before fury colored her cheeks.

"Sirius," she roared, her voice higher then Harry's. "This time you've gone too far." She was about to bolt and hunt down her godfather when her state of undress finally registered in her mind. Blushing, she tried to cover herself, mentally cursing her godfather into oblivion. Sudden warmth made her look up to see Remus drape his robe over her. He smiled tightly and said, "Wait here Harry. I'll bring him down." And with that he quickly strode up the stairs to find his 'friend'.

Grumbling, the now female Harry wrapped the robe tighter and made her way to the living room. Kreacher was there and he stared in shock as the young lady settled on the couch. "Master Harry?" the elf asked, truly confused.

"It's me," Harry said, slightly disturbed at her new voice. "Sirius's payback for the exploding potion." Kreacher scowled but stayed silent. He knew that for some reason the young master (young mistress?) loved the blood traitor. He would get irked with his godfather often but they would always resolve it and be laughing again within the day. So while Harry loved spending time with the elf he never let Kreacher insult Sirius around him.

Sirius appeared just then, still gold and smirking broadly. "Why hello miss," he said gallantly, ignoring the poison's glare Harry threw him. "I don't believe I've seen you around before."

"Sirius," Harry growled, "if you are planning on surviving the week you will shut your trap this very second." Now Sirius was many things such as reckless, childish, prankster, and slightly insane but one thing he was not was stupid. He knew full well that Harry was totally serious so he did the only thing he could. He shut up.

A few tense moments passed and Harry was just about to sigh and forgive her godfather. After all, it was a perfectly executed prank. She'd never seen it coming and that was sort of the whole point. But just then there was a mini vocal explosion from upstairs.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"

Sirius nearly bolted at the shout while Harry just jumped. She'd never heard Remus sound so utterly…pissed off. The werewolf had always been rather quiet in speech and nature. Sure, Moony was rather different but then again, Moony was a true wolf. He was supposed to be different.

Sure enough, Remus stormed in, his face livid as he held a half-full vial of some pinkish potion. "Tell me," he seethed, his amber eyes snapping, "that you _did not_ use this potion." Sirius was obviously trying to melt into he walls and failing miserably. All he could do was nod.

"YOU MORON!" Remus roared. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE? WE MADE THIS POTION TWENTY YEARS AGO. TWENTY, SIRIUS. FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, JAMES WAS WITH US WHEN WE MADE THIS POTION. DID YOU PAY _ANY_ ATTENTION TO WHAT HAPPENS TO POTIONS IF THEY ARE LEFT UNDISTURBED FOR LONG AMOUNTS OF TIME?"

"Umm…they lost their affect?" Sirius guessed, wondering what his chances were on escaping. When Remus suddenly acted like a drowning fish he actually whimpered. Not good, that was so not good. Even the muggles out on the street heard the next explosion.

"YOU UTTER, STUPID, IMBICILIC, FLEABRAINED, BRAT! NOT ALL POTIONS LOSE THEIR AFFECTS OVER TIME; SOME GROW FREAKING STRONGER!"

"Hold it!" Harry shouted, breaking into the conversation. Her eyes were wide in fright as she stared at the two men. "What do you mean?" she asked, her voice quivering. Of damn it, she was crying. Odd, she normally wouldn't cry over something like this.

Remus sighed, running his hand through his hair. "It complicated," he tried to hedge but Harry's glare made him pull up short. Really, it was a little unnerving, seeing Harry like this. The boy had always been slightly feminine but now that he _was a female he was drop-dead gorgeous. And would so murder Remus if the werewolf were stupid enough to say so. Still, that look clearly said that Harry wouldn't stand for stalling. If he had been acting like a Griffindor just then Remus may have gotten away with it. But a Slytherin? No bloody way._

"_James came up with this potion," Remus finally admitted, looking at Harry but holding Sirius tightly as the man tried to run. "It was designed to turn a person into the opposite gender. It only works for twenty-four hours, at the end of which the person returns to normal. Sadly, James was the only one who knew the recipe. He, fortunately, did not trust Sirius enough to tell him." Sirius squawked at that but Remus ignored him. This was where things got tricky._

"_This vial," he said, shaking the thing slightly, "was part of the very first batch. James gave it to Sirius for 'emergency purposes'. Loose translation, incase Black wanted to prank someone with it and James wasn't available. However, it obviously never got used. It has simply been sitting on a shelf for the past twenty years._

"_Now Harry, as Sirius said, most potions lose their affects as time goes on. Even Veritaserum will lose its ability if left undisturbed for five years. However, some potions do the opposite. It's like aging wine. The older the wine, the better the taste and quality. Aging potions can do a variety of things. It can make the potion stronger, give it new abilities, or many similar things." Remus paused to take a deep breath. This was the part that could possible end in his and Sirius's death._

"_James warned me that this potion was not to be used if it lasted beyond five years. That, Harry, is because aging this potion extends the affects. Basically, if you used this potion when it was fresh, the affect would only last a day. If you used the exact same potion when it was five years old the affect could be a month or even a year." Harry's eye started twitching; he knew where this was going._

"_Remus," she said quietly, her voice sounding almost deadly. "That potion is twenty years old. How long am I going to be like this?" Remus gulped._

"_From what I can tell," he said weakly, "the potion has aged and changed so much…it's permanent. Unless I misinterpreted what I saw you're a girl for the rest of your life." Time seemed to stand still when Harry suddenly smiled._

"_Is that right?" she said happily. Sirius whimpered and redoubled his escape attempts. When Harry acted like a Griffindor his happiness was to be welcomed with open arms. When he was Slytherin his happiness meant someone was going to be in a lot of pain. So when Harry slowly stood up, Remus's robe falling off her, Sirius honestly feared for his life. He almost cried when Harry smiled._

"_Sirius, remember all those stories you told me about the dementors? Well, by the time I'm finished with you you'll be wishing you were with them once more."_


	2. A is for Angel

Grimacing, Harry tugged at his, her, collar. Merlin, this was difficult. He was a girl now. Remus had told him, _her_, that it would be best if he, _SHE DAMNIT_, started thinking about hi-herself as a girl. It would make the verbal acting and writing easier. But it was so freaking hard. Harry had been a boy all hi-_her_ life. How could he…she now think of herself as a girl.

Hey look, he managed for the first time. No, wait, _she_! Damnit.

Growling, Harry picked up a book and threw it. How could Sirius do this? Surely the man wasn't that irresponsible. Yet, apparently, he was. After all, it had already been four days and Harry was still very much a girl.

A quiet knock drew Harry out of her musing. "Come in," she called, grimacing again at the sound of her voice. It was so wrong having a voice that high. Luckily Remus stuck his head in just then.

"Hello Harry," the werewolf said kindly as he stepped in. Harry smiled at him before sitting down. For a moment she forgot herself and went to bend one of her legs up before freezing. The only female clothes in the house had been dresses that had belonged to Sirius's mother. Even if both men had seen her naked after the transformation she didn't want to show off anymore. So, hoping her previous actions had been slight enough, she simply crossed her legs.

"We need to go to Diagon Alley," Remus said, watching the horror on Harry's face. Merlin, the boy truly was beautiful as a girl. Beyond beautiful. For a moment the werewolf wondered if he should give her the talk all magical parents gave their teenage daughters. But then he smiled and shook his head. Harry would probably murder any poor chap who thought to try anything.

Focusing on the panic, Remus made to soothe the girl. "It's okay," he said gently, lightly touching her shoulder. "No one would suspect it's you so you have nothing to fear. If nothing else, you'll get your wish of moving around without your adoring fans." Harry perked up at that. She hadn't thought of that. Suddenly thing were looking up. She could have that normalcy that she'd craved since she'd learned she was a wizard. But then she drooped again.

"We'd have to tell the goblins to get to my vault," she sighed. "I know they wouldn't say anything but anyone could overhear. If we don't go there I won't have any money for my stuff."

"Don't be silly," Remus tried to tease. "I had no intention of using your money anyway. After all, this is all Sirius's fault so I was planning on visiting his vault." Harry suddenly smiled at the thought. Yes, that would be perfect. And it wasn't like Sirius could complain. Oh, he could jump around and screech but he couldn't actually complain.

"Alright then," Harry said, grabbing a cloak. She'd never figure out why females actually had different types of cloaks. If she remembered correctly, this was a dress cloak, designed specifically for dresses like the one she was wearing. Since Remus did not correct her it was a safe bet that she was right. About to follow her old professor Harry suddenly deviated to Sirius's room. Poking her head in she grinned at the sight of her godfather. He glared up at her, his ears twitching as his nose wiggled like mad.

"Just thought I'd tell you that Remus is taking me for my supplies," she said cheekily. Just then she caught sight of Kreacher and spotted what the old elf was reading. She burst out laughing, catching the elf's attention. "Kreacher," she said through the laughs, "I don't believe we will be having rabbit stew anytime soon." Kreacher just nodded in disappointment while Sirius started hopping up down, making a sort of barking noise. Harry just laughed, throwing him a carrot. She had to admit, her godfather looked cute as a rabbit. Better yet, a French lop-eared rabbit. Maybe she should leave him like that.

Leaving the furious rabbit behind, she caught up with Remus in the living room. She had a horrible vision of her flying through chimneys in a dress and shuddered. This was going to be so unpleasant. "Before we go," Remus said with a smile, "we need to figure out what we're going to call you. After all, there aren't that many females name Harry in this day in age. Or ever, for that matter."

Blinking in surprise, Harry sighed and nodded. She hadn't though of that. The idea of changing her name wasn't exactly appealing but what choice did she have?

"Alright then," she said, shuddering yet again at her voice. She _had_ to quit doing that. "Umm…what was mum going to name me if I had been a girl?" There, that'd be a good choice. She could live with whatever name that was if it had come from her mum. Remus frowned for a moment, thinking, before smiling.

"Kaitlin," he said suddenly. "She was going to name you Kaitlin." Harry smiled at the thought. Kaitlin. Interesting name but she still loved it.

"Alright then," she said happily. "From now on my name is Kaitlin. But what will we do about my last name? If I go around as Kaitlin Potter that will sort of defeat the whole purpose of changing my name."

"True," Remus mused, thinking. He was just about to make a suggestion when they both heard Kreacher yell. Surprised, Harry turned just in time to see a furious Sirius rabbit charging right at her, teeth bared.

"Crap!" Harry yelped, instantly running for her life. She managed to get outside and slam the door shut before Sirius reached her but knew it wouldn't last. After all, the man was a rabbit now. He could wiggle out of anything. So, ignoring the shocked stares, Harry raced down the street. It wasn't long before she heard her godfather behind her. Merlin, who knew rabbits were so loud?

Just then Harry ran into someone. Yelping, she stumbled back, about to apologize when she realized just who she'd run into. "Ron?"

"Do I know you?" Ron asked, clearly confused. Hermione stood nearby, just as surprised. But before Harry could respond Sirius was on her. Later Ron would say it was hilarious watching Harry scream and dive away from the rabbit. And really, even Harry could see the humor of the moment just not then.

Luck was on her side. Just as Sirius reached Harry Remus appeared and caught him. "Sirius," he hissed as he held the struggling rabbit, "calm yourself. This is hardly the place to attack. Besides, you know you deserve this. Be glad Harry didn't do worse." Just then the werewolf noticed Ron and Hermione and nearly bit his tongue. Ron looked clueless like normal but Hermione's eyes lit up. Her eyes darted between female Harry and rabbit Sirius, putting all the pieces together. Sometimes that witch was to smart for her own good.

Since they were causing a scene, or rather Sirius was, Remus led the three teens back to Grimmauld Place. Harry had to open the door for him and then they waited as the werewolf chucked his friend back in his room. Once that was done he came back downstairs and had everyone sit down for tea. It wasn't until they were all settled that he glanced at Hermione. "You figured it out, didn't you," he said tiredly. Hermione gulped before nodding.

"I think so," she said quietly before turning to a suddenly tense Harry. "You're Harry, aren't you?" Ron sputtered, spitting out the tea he'd been about to swallow. Harry just sighed and nodded miserably.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm Harry. Or rather, I was Harry." And with that she explained everything that had happened. At the end Hermione was nearly ready to go and hex Sirius some more. (At least let me turn him green. Please? It'll be nice, just the perfect shade of Slytherin green.) Ron actually turned out to be the voice of reason this time around. Sure, he was shocked that his best mate was now a girl but he took it in stride. Although he did blanch when Harry mentioned that it was permanent.

Once everything was sorted out Harry felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. Her friends were being so supportive that there was suddenly little doubt that everything would be fine. They talked for a bit more before Remus decided that they would go to Diagon Alley the next day so that Ron and Hermione could come with them. Instead he let the friends catch up with each other and plan how to keep Harry's secret. It was nearly dinner time before they finished up.

"One last thing," Harry said, sipping her tea. "You have to call me Kaitlin now. We've decided that will be my new name." Belatedly she remembered that they didn't have a last name for her. After a moment she dismissed the thought. They'd come up with something. Before either of her friends could respond the chiming of the clock interrupted them.

"Blimey, look at the time," Ron yelped. "We were supposed to be home an hour ago. Come on Hermione!" The red head dashed for the door, making Remus chuckle. Hermione paused just long enough to hand Harry, or rather Kaitlin, a journal.

"Last bit of homework," she said, frustration in her eyes. "We weren't told about it when we left for the summer but McGonagall came to me a few days ago and explained it. Basically it's a word journal. Every time something big happens in your life you're supposed to open this book. A single word will be on the first blank page and you have to write a sentence on how you feel using that word. Once you've done that a muggle quote will appear below it. Don't ask me what purpose it serves; I have no clue." Ron screeched her name, making Hermione bid a hasty farewell before chasing after him. Kaitlin just chuckle, before bidding Remus goodnight. She had to duck when she went by Sirius's room but managed to get to her own without problem.

Just before she crawled under the covers she glared at the book. There was no purpose in the stupid thing but she didn't want to fail any part of her homework so she opened it. At the top of the first page there was a single word.

_Angel._

"Angel?" she whispered. "How am I supposed to use angel in a sentence to describe how I feel right now? I was ugly, now I look like an angel? I don't think so." After a moments thought she finally wrote down one sentence.

_I want to be an ANGEL because then I would be dead and at peace._

Once that was done she leaned back, waiting for what the book would say. Slowly the words began to form beneath her statement.

_All God's __**angels**__ come to us disguised. -James Russell Lowell_

Snorting, Kaitlin threw the book away from her. "Yeah right," she muttered before snuggling under the covers. She wasn't exactly looking forward facing the rest of her life as a female.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Hello everyone! Just so you all know, this is my first Harry Potter fic so it may be a little awkward in places. Still, every read every book so I'm not to worried about getting anything wrong. Also, if you ever catch me referring to Harry by either his old name or as a male in the future, please point it out so I can fix it. Thanks! On to the reviews!_

_Njferrell: Well, he turned Sirius into a rabbit so I think he's doing a good job on that. I like Draco/Harry too. Draco will show up in the next chapter._

_Trexie: I haven't read any other Harry getting turned into a girl stories so I wouldn't know. It's just an idea that's been floating around in my head for a while. Still, glad you enjoyed it._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Glad you enjoyed it!_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	3. B is for Believe

Sighing, Kaitlin groaned and opened her eyes. Like always, for just a moment she managed to forget what had happened to her. For one blessed moment she thought she was still Harry Potter, male wizard extraordinaire. She'd think the last five days were just a dream. But then the moment would pass and she'd remember what had actually happened.

Groaning, she rolled out of bed and glared at her room. Though she really didn't want to she got up and ready for the day. She knew most girls would take hours getting ready but she didn't. Jump in the shower, wash hair and body, jump out, dress, comb hair, brush teeth, done. She didn't believe in the makeup junk and never did anything more elaborate then a ponytail. All in all she was done in half an hour.

One thing she noticed and utterly loathed was that she tended to skip now. It wasn't painfully obvious when she walked but it certainly was when she went down the stairs. How she was going to survive in Hogwarts was beyond her. After all, they had freaking stairs everywhere. It wasn't like she could just go around them.

Stopping for just a moment, Kaitlin glanced at her godfather's room. She debated for a moment before walking over. Like always, Sirius was inside, huddled miserably on the bed. He didn't even get up when she walked in. All in all, he was the epitome of dejection. He was therefore surprised when Kaitlin smiled and it was genuine.

"Promise not to prank me with potions again?" she asked, giggling when the rabbit nodded eagerly. With a simple wave of her wand she turned him back. The second he was a human once more Sirius grabbed her in a hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he gushed, nearly twirling her around. Kaitlin laughed, marveling at how her laugh actually reminded her of little bells. She'd thought that was just an expression. Once her godfather was settled she jerked her head towards the door.

"Shall we go?" she asked. "Remus is taking me to Diagon Alley today to get all my stuff. We're supposed to meet Ron and Hermione at the Leaky Cauldron soon. Oh, and we're using your money to buy all my stuff." Sirius didn't even blink at that, simply agreeing enthusiastically. So together they walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Remus was already there and the three ate a light breakfast before flooing to the meeting spot.

Stumbling out of the hearth, like she always did, Kaitlin cursed under her breath. No way was she going through the floo in a dress ever again. But her grumps didn't last long when she caught sight of her friends. "Hermione! Ron!" she called, waving to them. As soon as they saw her they rushed over, smiling and laughing. After a quick round of hugs and laughing the three teens and two adults walked over and through the wall to Diagon Alley.

The morning was absolute torture for Kaitlin. After getting a hugs amount of money from Sirius's vault they'd hit the shops. Now, she had hated getting fitted from clothes back when she'd been a guy. It didn't take her long to realize that it was worse for females. Honestly! She was poked and prodded and stabbed and shifted and did they really have to measure around her now well sized chest? Seriously, that wasn't needed. After all that Hermione had drug her to a female accessory store where she went nuts buying her perfume and jewelry. Of course, she also got her things that were actually needed but for the most part it was just a giant shopping spree.

Finally, after eating a quick lunch with her family and friends, Kaitlin took off alone. She couldn't help but smirk at the ease of her escape. Maybe she really should have gone to Slytherin.

Wandering around for a bit, she was just about to visit the twins' joke shop when she froze. Walking her way was Draco Malfoy and his mother. She had to admit, he was looking better. His hair was just a little longer and it seemed he'd grown a bit. Considering he was already Hogwarts resident Sex God it wasn't hard to see he'd be keeping the title. That didn't bother Kaitlin at all, even if she had been ranked number two. It didn't even bother her that he was walking her way. No, what bothered her was that the mere sight of him had her nearly swooning. Merlin, did he affect all females this way? No wonder he was the Sex God.

Desperate for an escape, Kaitlin ducked into a nearby store, not even looking to see what it was. Inside she realized it was sort of an odds and ends type store. She saw all sorts of items, none really having anything to do with anything else. Intriuged, she wandered in, looking around. In time she found herself drawn to the back where jewelry was laid out. She was just bending over to look at a simple charm bracelet when she noticed she wasn't alone.

Standing not three feet away was a very handsome boy. He was just about her height and his eyes were a misty green. Unconciously, he brushed a strand of his silver hair away from his face, frowning as he inspected whatever was in his hands. What stood out the most though was what he was wearing. The wand strapped to his arm clearly identified him as a wizard but his clothes were all muggle. His blood red shirt had tattered sleeves but was accented nicely by his black leather vest. The pants he wore were also black leather and heavily weighted down with silver chains. Simple black sandles were on his feet. Though she looked Kaitlin couldn't find a single piece of jewelry except a black cord around his neck. Basically, he looked like every muggle parents description of a bad boy.

"Getting something for your girlfriend?" Kaitlin asked before clapping her hand over her mouth. She hadn't meant to actually talk! Those misty green eyes met hers, slight confusion in them.

"Excuse me?" he asked, his voice slightly different from what she thought it would be. Then he apparently had a though and looked down at himself. Suddenly he chuckled, shaking his head. "Oops," was all he said before grabbing the bottom of his shirt and pulling it down so that it was skin tight. Instantly Kaitlin saw what was wrong and blushed.

She had to admit, 'he' had a pretty good chest.

"I didn't notice," she stammered, her blushing growing as the now obviously girl laughed.

"It's my fault," she assured the poor girl. "I suppose I really do dress like a guy. Sorry about that." Putting down what ever she'd been looking at she offered her hand. "I'm Kari. You?"

"Kaitlin," the raven responded, still blushing. There was something about this girl that she felt she should know.

Kari arched a brow, her lips twitching in a smile. "Kaitlin," she said but there was something in her voice making Kaitlin stiffen. She knew. Somehow this girl whom she had never met knew.

Without another word Kari turned back and bought whatever she'd been looking at along with the charm bracelet Kaitlin had been about to see. Then, with quick moves, she attached her item to the bracelet before holding it out to Kaitlin.

"Early gift," she said quietly, dropping the bracelet in Kaitlin's hand before suddenly walking off. Kaitlin could only stare in shock before looking down at the gift. The bracelet itself was rather simple but attached to it was the small charm of an otter. Though she knew it wasn't possible she almost felt like the otter was smiling at her. But that of course was preposterous.

"Nice bracelet."

Yelping, Kaitlin spun around only to be face to face with… "Malfoy." Draco smiled and for the first time there was no malice. It was so pure that for a moment Kaitlin couldn't believe that it was real.

"That is my surname," he chuckled, his eyes dancing with laughter. "However my first name is Draco and I think it's much more fitting for people my own age to speak to me thus. May I inquire as to your name?"

"Kaitlin," she stumbled out before suddenly remembering that they hadn't decided on a surname. About to panic, her mind scrambled.

"Kaitlin, there you are!"

Turning around Kaitlin was rather surprised to see Kari jogging back. The other girl had a smile but rolled her eyes once she was close enough. For just a moment Kaitlin felt like the girl was scolding her.

"Malfoy, right?" Kari asked, her eyes flitting over to Draco quickly. "Nice to meet you. I'm Kari LeNair. This is my sister, Kaitlin." Gaping, Kaitlin realized that Kari was covering for her. The question was, how did Kari know she needed the help?

The three chatted for a few minutes before Kaitlin made an excuse and left. Kari shot her a look before distracting Malfoy and letting the raven make a break for it. By the time Kaitlin made it back to her friends she'd managed to put the thought out of her mind.

That night, perched in her bed, Kaitlin examined the bracelet. For some reason she was loathe to remove it. Instead she just reached over and opened her word journal. A new word was at the top of the blank page.

_Believe._

Thinking for just a moment, she wrote down her sentence.

_I'm learning to BELIEVE that everything will work out._

Putting her quill down, she waited for the book to respond.

_You will see it when you __**believe**__ it. -Wayne Dyer_

Smirking, Kaitlin closed the book and snuggled back under her covers. In four days she would head back to Hogwarts for the final time. The thought filled her with excitement before she finally drifted off to sleep.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Hmm…don't like this chapter much. The ending seemed sort of rushed. Oh well. Next chapter Kaitlin returns to Hogwarts and gets resorted. She also ends up confronting Draco and not in the way you may think._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Yeah, I don't like breaking up the Golden Trio so I had to keep them together. And I absolutely loved Sirius in the last chapter._

_Trexie: OMG! You so got me hooked on that story! I love it! Actually, I've spent more time reading that then writing this today. Sirius will be picked on throughout my story but I couldn't really keep him a rabbit. Considering what else I have planned for him._

_Verox29: I'm glad._

_Broken Angel1816: Wow! Hi! I didn't expect anyone to cross over and read my HP fic. Figured most of you would stick with FFVII. Still, glad you like it._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	4. Otters are brave and playful

Scowling, Kaitlin rolled out of bed. Today she'd be heading back to Hogwarts and she was mad.

P.

I.

S.

S.

E.

D.

For some reason she had been in the foulest mood the last two days. Even Remus was giving her a large berth now anytime she was near. Sirius had whimpered and hidden in his room the first time she snapped at him. Hermione and Ron had decided it was safer to write her then to actually speak to her.

And was totally pissed Kaitlin off was that she didn't know why she felt like she did. There was no warning, no build up. She'd been fine when she went to bed and furious when she woke up.

Hearing a sound, she looked around suddenly, instantly on the alert. She wouldn't put it past Voldermort to try something. It totally slipped her mind that he didn't even know where she was. Still after a few moments she realized that the sound reminded her of a river. That and it was…coming from…her…wrist?

Glancing down, she saw the otter charm on her bracelet. The sound of a river was coming from that. For a moment she felt like the charm was chirping at her, inviting her to play. Unknowingly, she smiled at it. She didn't even notice her bad mood start to lift.

Suddenly feeling better, Kaitlin nearly bounced out of her bed. She dressed quickly in muggle clothes, chuckling as she remembered Hermione's reaction to them. Yes, she looked like a tomboy but honestly, who cared? She'd been a boy all her life; old habits died hard.

Once dressed, the raven packed hastily; scurrying around for anything she couldn't find right way. Finally, she slipped her last item, the word journal, in her trunk and closed it with a happy sigh. It was then she noticed that there was a book on her bed. Startled, because it certainly hadn't been there before, she walked over. On the cover was a circle that had six symbols on it. She couldn't quite figure out what they were for a moment before frowning. They looked like Native American drawings. Just that summer she'd taken a sudden interest in them and had studied them quiet closely. Unless she was mistaken, the animals were the otter, wolf, falcon, beaver, deer, and woodpecker. Utterly curious, she opened the book. The pages were made of really old parchment though the ink of the writing seemed relatively new. Totally confused, she sat down to read what was obviously a handwritten note.

**Kaitlin,**

**I know you're probably glaring at this book right now, trying to figure out what it's about. I can't tell you that. I can't tell you much actually. Trust me, I wish I could. However, should I break orders and explain everything then I would be killed. Seriously. So instead I'm afraid you'll have to put up with my vagueness. I apologize ahead of time for that.**

**What you're about to read are the legends of the Ra'Shel. Now don't scowl like that; I can't explain that part either. Just trust me and read them. Memorize them if you can. You will need them soon. Oh yeah, you'll only be able to read the legends after you've unlocked the spirits. The spirits will help you in anyway they can so don't fear them. And good luck Kaitlin.**

**Or should I say Harry?**

Even more confused and just a little terrified, Kaitlin turned the page. It was the story of the Otter.

_As the story is told, in the days when the earth was new and there were no men but only animals, the sun was far away in the sky. It was so far away that there was no summer. It was so far away that the trees and the grasses did not grow as they should. He-Who-Made-the-Animals saw how it was that there was not enough sun to heat the earth, and so he fashioned a snare. The Sun did not see the snare in his path, walked into the snare, and the snare held him fast. Then the sun was close to the earth. In fact, the snare held the sun so close to the earth that there was no night. Day after day the sun shown and the earth dried and the grasses withered. There was not enough food or water for the animals and the desperately called a council. "Sun," the animals said, "you give too much heat to the earth."_

"_Set me free from this snare," the sun said, "and I will go away."_

"_But if you go away, then there will not be enough heat."_

"_Set me free," the sun said, "and I will come to the edge of the earth in the morning and in the evening; then at noon-time I will stand straight above the earth and warm it then."_

_The animals sat around the council fire and they said, "Who is going to set the sun free?"_

"_I shall not do it," Wildcat said. "Whoever sets the sun free must go so close to the sun that he will be burned to death. Whoever sets the sun free must chew the leather thong that holds him; the sun will burn him to death before he can do it."_

"_I shall not do it," said the deer, the wolf, and the raccoon._

"_I shall do it," Otter said._

"_How can you do it," said the animals. "You are too small, your teeth are for fish, and your fur has already burned away." None of the other animals like the otter because he played too much. They did not think he was brave._

"_Let him try," Bear said. "He will burn to death, but we will not miss him. He is of no use to us. He looks silly now that his fur is gone." The animals laughed._

_Ignoring the taunts, the otter set off to the place in the sky above the earth where the sun was held by the snare. Otter took many days to get to the sun. The sun burned him. The sun was so bright, Otter had to close his eyes. When he reached the sun, Otter began to chew on the leather thong that held the sun. His skin was burning and blistering, his eyes were hot stones. But Otter did not stop chewing._

_Suddenly, he chewed through the leather. The animals saw the sun rise into the sky. The animals felt the cool winds begin to blow on the earth. Otter had freed the sun from the snare. Otter had saved them all._

_Time passed. Otter lay in the center of the council ring. There was no fur at all left on his body. His skin was burned and scorched and his flesh was falling off his bones. His teeth were only blackened stumps, his eyes long gone._

_He-Who-Made-the-Animals also stood in the center of the council ring. "Otter," he said, "the animals will not forget what you have done for them. I will see that they do not forget," and he gave Otter new strong teeth, tireless muscles, keen eyesight, and a powerful tail to help him in his hunting and in his play. He did not have to give him bravery. But he gave him new fine fur that was like down on his skin, and a second coat of cur to guard the first so that he would not get cold in water or in winter. Then he gave him joy so that he would always be happy in his otter's life, and Otter has so remained until this day._

"What the heck was that about?" she mused, looking it over again. She went to turn the page but realized that they were all stuck together. The book refused to let her go any farther. Growling, she closed the book with a snap and threw it at her trunk. The action brought the charm into view again and she smiled at her own otter.

"You're pretty brave, aren't you?" she whispered, laughing when she heard its happy chirp. Merlin, she was going insane and couldn't even be upset about it.

"Harry!" Sirius's voice screeched from downstairs. "Hurry up will you! I know you're a bloody girl now but the train leaves in an hour!"

Yelping, Kaitlin sprung up, grabbing her trunk and the book before racing downstairs. She didn't even notice the girl outside her window who watched her with a smirk. Said girl took one last drag of her cigarette before flicking it away. Releasing the smoke, she looked at the five charms chained to her belt. It wouldn't take Potter long to earn them, that was for sure. But would it be in time?

XxXxXxXxX

Glaring at her so called friends, Kaitlin was forced to walk with the rest of the new students ranging in age from eleven to seventeen like herself to the boats. She and her godfather had decided days ago that no one other then he, Remus, Hermione, and Ron were to know about her sudden sex change. If anyone asked where she was, she was off getting special training to face Voldermort. Still, that meant that she had to act like a total newbie in school and she hated it! After all her hard work getting to know this school and it's ways she now had to play ignorant.

Merlin, sometimes she hated her life.

Finally getting in a boat, Kaitlin smiled at Hagrid as the giant led them out to water. While everyone else looked up at the castle in awe she just rolled her eyes and looked around. Hogwarts was just as magnificent as always but she'd seen it so much the utter awe just wasn't there anymore. Love, yes. Fondness, most definitely. But awe? Nah, not so much.

A soft splash made her look over the side of her boat. To her total shock she saw an otter swimming alongside the boat. Said critter chirped at her, making her smile.

"I thought you guys were supposed to squeak," she whispered. The otter glared playfully before splashing her with it's tail. Before she could retaliate, it was gone.

A little sad to see the critter go, Kaitlin realized that they were at their destination. She got out of her boat and milled around with the others, trying to look as confused as they. When McGonagall showed up her breath hitched, afraid that the firm old lady would somehow know. Instead the old matron just briskly gave them their directions and led them all to the Great Hall. Entering, Kaitlin again reminded herself that she need to be in awe. That turned out to be rather easy considering this year it was utterly packed, not by students, but by adults. She could clearly see the reporters among them and wanted to groan. At least, until she remembered that they didn't know who she was. That thought alone made her smirk. No reporters chasing her all year long! Maybe being a girl was worth it.

Seeing Ron and Hermione, Kaitlin managed a tiny wave before her attention was forced back up front. Dumbledore stood, looking only slightly haggard from the events of last year. Potter felt she was the only person to notice the can leaning against his chair. Guilt flooded her once again as she bit her lip. It was all her fault that he'd gotten hurt. Her fault that she had had to be protected from that upstart Death Eater. Her fault that he'd had to step in and take the attack.

Glazing over the opening speech, Kaitlin warily glared at the Sorting Hat. She could still clearly remember the argument she'd had with the bloody thing about being in Slytherin. Was she facing the same thing now? She was so lost in thought she totally spaced the Hat's song of welcome and not quite so subtle hints at unity between the houses. In fact, she also missed the first group of students to be sorted. She finally snapped out of her gaze by McGonagall's firm call of, "LeNair, Kaitlin." Wondering briefly how they'd gotten hat fake name, Kaitlin walked up and let the Hat be placed on her head.

_Ah, Mister Potter. Or should I say Miss Potter?_

'Shut up you bloody heap of scraps. Just send me to Gryffindor like before and let's move on.'

_No, I don't think I will this time._

'What?'

_Face it my boy-err-girl. You have a whole new life ahead of you. It's time you learned things you could never learn as a lion. After all, lions are the kind of the beasts but snakes can be the true leaders. If you are planning on surviving this war then it had better be SLYTHERIN!_

You could have knocked Kaitlin over with a feather.

XxXxXxXxX

Groaning, Kaitlin nearly threw her trunk across the room. She couldn't believe this! She was a freaking Slytherin! Really, she didn't know who was more shocked, her, Ron, or Hermione. And of course, as soon as she'd gotten to the Slytherin table, what had happened? Draco bloody Malfoy had smirked at her and she had nearly melted in a puddle of goo. Of course, all the Slytherin girls had laughed and Kaitlin had actually been surprised when she realized it was friendly laughter. But that thought didn't last long.

About to rage again Potter heard the door open behind her. Surprised, she looked back to see Malfoy lounging against the door, a confident smirk on his face. Instantly her rage was back and she was ready to take it out on him.

"Welcome to Slytherin," he said but stopped when he saw the rage in her eyes.

"Save the welcome speech," she snapped. "I don't want to hear it. Actually, I want nothing to do with this. This house, these people, this school, this whole freaking world. But I especially want nothing to do with you! You want to know why? All my life I've lived at the mercy of Slytherin's and they have made my life a living hell. Just because my personality matches this house doesn't mean my philosophy does. So save the welcoming gestures for the next unlucky prat who got thrown into this pit of snakes. And while you're at it, LEAVE ME ALONE!"

She slammed the door in Malfoy's surprised face before falling onto her bed and sobbing. Merlin, how did girls live with this many emotions running through them at one time?

She was so furious and so exhausted that she didn't even notice when she faded off to sleep with the otter chirping in her ear.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Eh. No clue what that was about. What do you all think? Love it? Hate it? Want me to hang myself? Want to give me the keys to they city? Let me know so I can decide if I should even bother continuing. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Yeah, it was a great story. I finished it today and now I'm ready for the sequel. Kari does show up throughout the thing. Glad the last ending wasn't rushed. Felt like it though._

_Broken Angel1816: Ah. That explains that. Kari is really cool. And she just get's cooler. But I'm interested that people are loving a character that they haven't even known for a full half chapter. She's just popped in for a couple minutes and yet you're the second person out of three who say they like her._

_SunshineAndDaisies: I think Kari is a new fav character. You're the third person to mention her. Hope you liked this chapter!_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	5. C is for Confidence

Groaning, Kaitlin opened her eyes. She stared at the curtains on her bed for a moment, trying to figure out why they were green. Then the previous day flooded her mind and she nearly cried. Why was Fate always screwing her over?

Hearing the girls around her start to move, the raven reluctantly sat up. She winced at a slight pain near her stomach and lifted the sheets to figure out why. Her eyes widened in shock before she screamed.

"What?" one of the girls shouted. "What is it?" Kaitlin's curtain was torn aside, revealing a worried Pansy Parkinson.

"LeNair," she said quietly, trying to soothe the screaming girl. "LeNair, what's wrong?" Kaitlin could only point to the pool of red between her legs. Parkinson winced at the sight before reaching out to gently touch the other girl. "It's okay LeNair. It's normal. Haven't you ever heard of monthlies?"

Kaitlin finally started to calm down. Yeah, she'd heard girls talk about monthlies but had never understood what they were. Still, she nodded to Parkinson, not trusting herself to speak. It totally shocked her to see the Slytherin girl being so nice. After all these years of being pounded and tormented by this girl and her cronies she never thought that Parkinson was actually very kind.

Gently, Parkinson explained monthlies while helping the raven out of the blood soaked bed. Kaitlin heard a muttered cleaning spell before the other raven taught her how to use pads to catch the blood. "Isn't there a spell I can use?" she asked plaintively, making Parkinson laugh.

"Women have been asking that for years," she said through her chuckles. "However, no one has discovered one yet. Until then we will have to use the same things muggles do. Of course, ours are slightly better. Our pads don't slide around and also don't leak. So you won't have to worry about staining your clothes." They worked in silence for a moment before Parkinson finally sighed and looked Kaitlin in the eyes.

"Draco told me what you said last night," she said quietly. Potter instantly stiffened, ready to defend herself, but then she saw the other girl smile. "It's okay," she said. "We understand. Slytherin's have a horrible record and we know it. I won't lie; there are Death Eaters in training in our house. I can personally name four. But we aren't all evil. All I'm asking is for you to give us a chance." Kaitlin thought for a moment before nodding.

"Alright," she agreed hesitantly. She was rewarded with Parkinson's beaming face.

"Oh thank you," the Slytherin nearly gushed. "I promise, you won't be disappointed with us. Oh yeah, Draco wanted to know what Slytherin's have been making your life miserable, if you know their names. Something about hunting them down." She laughed at Potter's shocked face. "Oh don't give me that look. Draco's already insanely protective of you. In fact I think he hexed poor Greg when the boy made some not so subtle remarks about you. It was actually very funny."

"And this doesn't bother you?" Kaitlin had to ask, totally shocked. "I thought Draco was your fiancé." Parkinson actually snorted at that.

"Nah," she said easily. "That's just a cover story. Really, Draco and I have been friends forever but we aren't like that at all. It's protection. No one bothers me because he's my 'boyfriend' and girls tend to leave him alone because he'd 'engaged'. It all works out."

Finally dressed and ready for the day, Kaitlin followed Parkinson out of the room. She was slightly surprised when the girl before her suddenly went stiff and turned around.

"Most stories about Slytherin are false," Parkinson said quietly. "However, some are true. Especially the one about us being a pit of snakes. Nearly everyone is trying to climb the social ladder and are willing to stab others in the back to advance. Today is a very important day for you. Once you go down into the commons you'll be expected to try and earn your place in the room. You'll know what I mean when we get there. No matter where you end up, you'll need to fight not only to advance but also to stand your ground. Word of advice though. Do not challenge Draco. He's truly our prince and no one will tolerate a challenge to him. We've only barely accepted you're treatment of him last night and only because he excused it. Don't make the same mistake." And with that, she left, leaving Kaitlin to walk down the stairs alone.

Gulping, Kaitlin nearly panicked when she heard another chirp. Glancing down she smiled at the otter before taking a deep breath. She'd faced Death Eaters, Voldermort, and even worse, reporters. She could handle a few teenagers. With that thought, she nearly strode down the stairs.

As soon as she entered the common room, Kaitlin knew what Parkinson had been talking about. The whole room was divided into sections. She could clearly see who was in authority and who was not. Most of the new students like herself were huddled in the farthest corner, looking rather afraid. Other groups were scattered around, each with different expressions of fear and superiority. Then, right before the hearth, were Draco and his crowd. It was obvious that the five of them, Malfoy, Zabini, Parkinson, Crabbe, and Goyle, were the leaders. The chairs around them were held by people really near their level. Kaitlin already had her eye on one. The chair closest to the fire in the hearth. Unfortunately, it was also rather near Draco but she could ignore that. All she really knew was that she wanted that chair. So without hesitating, she walked right over.

Just before she reached the chair her eyes met Draco's. The blonde watched her, neither approval nor disapproval on his face. It was the perfect Slytherin mask. The thought made her jump. That was it! It was a mask. All these years, she'd been looking at nothing more then a mask. That time in Diagon Alley and here at her room, she'd thought there was something strange about him. He hadn't had his mask then. He'd allowed her to see the real him.

And she'd bit his head off.

Feeling guilty, Kaitlin refocused on the chair. She saw that another seventh year named Peter was in it. He sneered when she stopped before him. "Rather arrogant, aren't you, you little bitch," he snarled. Potter just arched a single brow, not noticing Draco's eyes light up. Silently she put her books down before jerking her thumb behind her.

"Move," she said, her voice heavy and firm. Instantly a bunch of people around her shifted, feeling this sudden urge to obey. Only Draco and his friends stayed still. Peter gulped before scowling.

"No," he said simply. Before he could blink he was thrown out of the chair, his back striking the cold floor. Everyone gasped as Kaitlin just sat in the chair, a look of disdain on her face.

"You'll pay for that," Peter raged but Potter just yawned, already bored with him. Honestly, this was so melodramatic.

"I doubt that," she drawled, again not noticing the looks she was receiving. "After all, you obviously no where near able to beat me physically. You can't hurt me monetarily because you are an illegal son and your father has been paying to cover the scandal for years. And since said father recently took a rather large beating power wise when it was discovered that he had over seventeen mistresses you don't have any political ability to gain revenge. That leaves you to pulling pranks and, quite frankly, I've lived with the best of them so you have no chance." She finally heard the scoffs and looked around to see that every Slytherin in the place was laughing at Peter. With a final smirk she grabbed her books and settled down to prepare for the day. With her nose buried on the books she didn't notice Draco's look of approval.

XxXxXxXxX

Sighing in relief, Kaitlin walked into the Great Hall for lunch. For a horrifying moment she almost went to the Gryffindor table before spinning on her heel and going the other way. She nearly cried as she sat at the Slytherin table, as far as she could from the other students. She ignored the food before her, instead laying her head down on the table in confusion.

McGonagall had hated her. She'd done exactly the same as she had as a boy but the stern matron found nothing but fault with her. In the first ten minutes she'd already lost Slytherin twenty points. Never in her life had she thought that McGonagall was that biased.

On the other hand, Snape had been rather nice to her. He'd helped explain the potion they were making and didn't push her. Oh yes, he hounded on the Gryffindor's like there was no tomorrow but he was nothing but kind to her. In that one class she managed to make up all the points she'd lost them that day and then some.

For the first time in her seventeen years, Kaitlin began to wonder about the state of things. Every teacher she'd met, minus Snape, had been against her for no other reason then she wore the green of Slytherin. That was it. Not because she was bad or had done something wrong. No, she had done something wrong. She'd been placed in Slytherin.

On that note, she couldn't believe how different Slytherin was. She'd always thought they traveled in packs to gang up on others; she'd been utterly shocked to realize it was for protection. Even though there was a lot of deceit and trickery in the house they all looked out for each other. In some ways, she was starting to wonder if Slytherin was actually more loyal then Gryffindor.

"LeNair!"

Looking up, Kaitlin saw Parkinson coming towards her, the rest of the court at her heels. Realizing what she'd thought, Potter shook her head. Court? Merlin, she was already starting to think of them like royalty. Sirius would flip if he knew.

"Good job this morning," Parkinson said, sitting beside the raven. The boys spread out around them though Kaitlin didn't fail to notice that Draco sat on her left side. He was so close she could almost feel the heat rolling off him. Needless to say, it made her slightly uncomfortable so she tried to focus on what Pansy was saying. Wait…Pansy? When had they gotten on a first name basis?

"I'm surprised you aimed so high in the placement," Pansy prattled on, not realizing that Kaitlin wasn't listening. Only Draco did. "After all, that chair is as close as you can get without being one of us. It had taken Peter all six years to get there. And then you, a first year, literally threw him out. Oh, and how did you know all that about his family? Great idea, cutting him down verbally. He's the laughingstock of Slytherin now. I'd never known he was a bastard child. To think, I was positive I knew everything about every Slytherin."

"Parkinson," Draco said suddenly, interrupting the girl. "Have you not noticed that LeNair is not listening?" Surprised, Pansy looked down to see that Kaitlin was again lying on the table, her eyes closed.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently, making Kaitlin stir.

"Nothing you can help with," the raven sighed, her eyes drifting shut again. Really, she was utterly miserable. Was the whole year going to be like this? Hated for no other reason then her house?

"So who have you been walking around with?" Zabini asked before taking a sip of his juice. He was trying to change the subject though it wasn't exactly subtle.

"No one," Kaitlin answered. She jumped up though when both Zabini and Malfoy actually spit out their drinks in surprise.

"What?" Draco nearly screamed but managed to hiss instead. "You've been going around the school on your own?"

"Yes," Potter replied uneasily, shifting in her seat. This wasn't going to end well.

"Are you nuts?" Zabini raged. "I was sure we'd made it clear to all you new students. No Slytherin goes anywhere alone! It's a wonder you haven't been attacked yet!" Kaitlin winced and none of them missed it. Draco's eyes turned to slits as he glared at her.

"What happened?" he asked. She shuffled a bit before Pansy finally grabbed her arm. She jerked back when the raven yelped in pain but all that did was tell them where her pain was. Before she could protest Draco had yanked the sleeve of her robe up.

They were faced with a long gash that spanned the length of her lower arm.

"Why didn't you report this?" Draco asked, trying to keep his voice calm. Kaitlin huffed and tried to yank her arm away but he held tightly.

"I did," she finally sighed, pain and confusion on her face. "I went to the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey took one look and said it was just a scratch before sending me away." The other five Slytherin's stiffened before growling.

"Who attacked you?" Crabbe snarled. Like the others he'd become fond of the raven despite only knowing her for less then a day.

Silently, Kaitlin pointed to the doors. They all watched as three seventh year Gryffindor's walked in, bandaged in various places. Pansy couldn't help but smirk at them while Kaitlin managed a tight smile. It even grew when Draco looked at her with approval. But then his gaze clouded with irritation.

"Stay here," he hissed before getting up and going to the head table. He had a whispered conversation with Snape at which point the potions master glanced at Kaitlin and nodded. The raven had the decency to look abashed as the blonde came back.

"We're meeting Professor Snape as soon as we're done eating," Draco told them. "He'll heal LeNair's cut-"

"Kaitlin."

Blinking, Draco turned in surprise. "Excuse me?" he said when he met Kaitlin's eyes. She just smirked at him like he was slow.

"Kaitlin," she said again. "My name is Kaitlin. Not LeNair."

Slowly, Draco nodded and bowed his head. "He'll heal _Kaitlin's_ cut then. After that we'll find someone to go with her to the rest of her classes." Everyone else nodded and resumed eating. Near the end Pansy clapped her hands together.

"We need to decide on a nickname," she said suddenly, making the boys groan. Kaitlin simply blinked in surprise, looking between them. She wasn't really sure what was going on.

"We all have nicknames," Goyle explained, a sour look on his face. "Pansy recommended it during our first year. She has this piece of paper and when she writes down the person's name it tells her what animal they should be. That animal becomes your nickname. Bloody annoying really."

"Actually, Draco drawled, "you're the first person she's ever suggested giving a nickname to outside our group. She must really like you." Kaitlin blushed as Pansy pulled out a single piece of paper.

"Can I see how it works first?" she asked, nervous. Pansy just smiled and nodded before writing down her own name. The ink soaked into the paper before coming back as one word.

Peacock."That's my nickname," the girl said proudly. "Peacock or any variation there of. Mostly they just call me P. Now, I'll show you the others."

Draco Malfoy: Tiger

Blaise Zabini: Mole

Gregory Goyle: Hippo

Vincent Crabbe: Vulture

"I wonder what Harry Potter's would have been," Kaitlin scoffed before nearly wincing. Pansy just laughed at the thought.

"Let's find out," she said excitedly before writing down the name. Kaitlin watched in fear when the response came back. Badger.

"That was unexpected," Draco drawled but he truly did seem surprised by the result. "Now do Kaitlin's." Pansy obeyed.

Wildcat.

Blaise grinned at that. "You're a feline, just like Draco. With our luck you're also a Gemini, just like him." Kaitlin smiled and shook her head.

"Actually," she drawled, "I'm a Leo." This was met by laughs all around as the other five started getting ready to go. Before they did Kaitlin managed to grab Pansy's arm and hissed in her ear, "Can you write down my sister's name? It's Kari LeNair." Confused but willing, Pansy did just that. The result came back the fastest of any of them.

Wild Dog.

Kaitlin noticed Pansy's eye twitch but otherwise the two remained silent. Finally the Slytherin girl simply folded the paper and put it away. "Remember what it said," was her only reply before smiling. "Now let's go fix you up."

XxXxXxXxX

Grinning, Kaitlin watched Pansy move around the room, growling about how life wasn't fair. It had been decided that the two girls would be a group for a while since they were the only ones with the exact same schedule. Draco was trying to change that now but for some reason Potter didn't mind. It was fun hanging out with Pansy. Although right now the girl was raging because the teachers had been harping on Kaitlin all day.

"Relax P.K," Kaitlin called, making Pansy stop and look at her."P.K?" she asked, slightly startled. The raven just laughed and nodded.

"The first and last letters of you're nickname. Peacock. P.K."

Grinning, P.K. finally collapsed onto her own bed. "Fine Kat," she smirked. "Be that way." Kaitlin just smirked and shut her curtains. Before she crawled under the bed she noticed her word book. Grabbing it, she turned to the first blank page. It wasn't blank anymore. On the top was her one word.

_Confidence_

Thinking for a moment, she finally wrote down her reply.

_I've gained the CONFIDENCE that all things would work out in time._

Putting her quill down she waited patiently for the response.

**Confidence** comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong. -Peter T McIntyre

Smirking again, Kat just shook her head and put the book away. Really, it was fun and interesting but rather pointless. Snuggling under her covers, she kissed the otter charm and fell asleep to it's chirping. But around the middle of the night she woke up screaming. P.K. and the other girls tried to calm her but she could only say two words.

"Wild dogs."

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Umm…how am I doing? Not really sure where this story is heading so I'm just winging it. Still, I think it's going okay. Next chapter Draco starts acting differently around Kaitlin but in a good way. Also, advance warning, tomorrow I'm going to a festival and Sunday I'm going to leave for camp so I'll be gone almost all of next week. In all likelihood I will not be updating again until next Saturday though I may manage to get one in tomorrow. Until then, later all. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Lol, thanks for the cookie. It was full of cyber sweetness. Okay then…I guess I'll continue for now._

_SunshineAndDaisies: I think she's coping rather well. It should get better though as time goes on. Still, I think she'll blow up one or two more times._

_Flying Chrissy: If you mean a cure to the potion, there is no cure. James made it totally from scratch so it would take an utter miracle to find a cure. Although, I may have Snape try. Can't hurt._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	6. Wolves are quick to anger

Growling, Kaitlin fought the urge to throw her parchment away from her. If it was the last thing she ever did she was going to turn Professor Flitwick into a gerbil. He actually had the gall to assign her a three foot long essay simply because she'd scraped her chair too loudly. Merlin, if she ever got out of the school alive she was going to tell each and every teacher who she was. Watch them all squirm. Ha! It'd be the perfect revenge.

Hearing footsteps Kat tensed. A Hufflepuff walked by; their nose in a book. The sight made her sigh in relief. She'd been avoiding the Slytherin's for a while now and they were surely hunting her down by now. Why did her life have to be so difficult?

Glancing at her bracelet, she eyed the new charm warily. A wolf. What in Merlin's name possessed that creep to give her a wolf charm? And why was she hearing it growling just like she could hear her otter chirp? Was it because of those…what had the book called them? Ra'Shel? What were they any way?

That's what she went to the library to find out. She'd just been sitting down when her chair suddenly screeched when she moved it. It hadn't been too loud, Madame Pince hadn't even noticed, but Professor Flitwick had so now she had extra work.

Trying to focus on her essay once more, Kaitlin felt her rage build up again. That insufferable, arrogant, prick of a ferret! How dare he do that to her! And to think, she'd just started to think that Slytherin's were actually good. How wrong could she have been?

_Flashback_

_Sighing, Kaitlin put her books away. She was tired after a full morning of classes. It had been a month and she still wasn't used to being a Slytherin. True, it was nice not to have to act or pretend anymore. Funny, all other Slytherin's had to wear masks in the house and yet being in the house let her shed her own. Of course, it was also fun being friends with Pansy. The more she talked with the girl the more she realized how similar they were. The Sorting Hat was going to place Pansy in Gryffindor but she had begged it to put her in Slytherin with Malfoy. Exact opposite of Harry and yet slightly the same._

_Kaitlin had even been getting used to the boys. She and Zabini hardly saw eye to eye and she avoided Draco at all costs and thus Crabbe but she and Goyle had become fast friends. They hung out all the time and taught each other a lot. Of course, it hadn't hurt that she'd offered to teach the boy how to cook himself so that he could make sure he got what he wanted._

_Despite her new friends, life was still so much harder. She hardly got to see Ron or Hermione anymore though not for lack of trying on either side. The teachers all hated her with a passion with the exception of Snape and that was something she just couldn't get used to. Dumbledore wasn't as bad but he wasn't anything like the grandfather he had been. Thanks to the sneaking nature of her house she couldn't even write to Sirius or Remus. Her life had hit an all time low._

_A sudden knock on her door made her look up. "Come in," she called then blinked in surprise when Draco did just that. He was handsome as always and she once again had to fight the urge to faint. Curse him and his perfect looks! Why did he have to look so gorgeous and perfect and make her forget she used to be a guy? Still, when his lips curved up into a soft smile she had to smile back. He was just that…perfect._

"_How are you adjusting?" he asked kindly. The story the Slytherin's knew was that she had been sheltered by her family and had lived nearly like a muggle her whole life. Her father had died the year before and her sister, Kari, had arranged for her to go to Hogwarts so that she could master her magic. Therefore it was expected for her to be struggling to adjust. Which was true; it just wasn't magic that she was adjusting to._

"_I'm doing fine," she answered. No harm with a little white lie. "It's taking a while but I'm sure in time I'll be fully used to this world."_

"_I'm glad to hear that," the prince said with a wider smile, making her heart skip a beat. Then he shifted and looked embarrassed. She saw him fiddling with a small box that he finally offered her. "Umm…I thought you might like this. I've had it forever and never even looked at it but then I saw your bracelet and thought, well, hoped that you would like it."_

_Quietly, Kaitlin took the box and opened it. Inside was a beautifully shaped wolf charm. It was a dark silver and wasn't howling like most of its kind. Instead it was crouched down like it was going to attack. Every part of it screamed of power and the contained rage of a hunter._

"_It's perfect," she breathed. "Thank you." She couldn't believe Malfoy, the Ice prince and general school prat had just given her such a gift._

"_Don't mention it," he said easily. "Now come on. Lunch is in an hour." About to follow, Kat suddenly saw a speck of red liquid on the bottom of his robes. She froze, staring at that one spot. She knew that liquid. She'd seen, smelt, tasted, and caused it to spill to often not to know it. Now the question was why Malfoy had blood on his robes._

"_What's on your robe?" she asked, hoping he didn't notice the rage in her voice. Luckily he didn't and simply looked. Then he shrugged. Shrugged!_

"_I guess I missed a spot," he drawled. "Crabbe and I were teaching a couple of those new Gryffindor's that when I walked by they were to move out of the way." He didn't notice Kaitlin begin to shake in anger. "After all, they need to learn their place. And I must admit, it was fun watching Crabbe beat them to the floor. I guess I just didn't dodge fast enough when they spat up blood."_

_Without thinking, Kaitlin jumped to her feet and punched Malfoy right in the face. She felt his nose crack and smiled as he slammed into the far wall. Her rage was so great she didn't even think that the rooms might not be soundproof. All she could think about was wiping that smug look off his face._

"_You arrogant little prat," she yelled. "How much of a bloody tosser can you be? I hate to be the one to break it to you but you aren't all that. Just because everyone in this whole bloomin house thinks you're a prince doesn't mean you are. You are nothing but a selfish wanker trying to make your pitiful life more meaningful. Well, forgive me if I find you utterly despicable!"_

_Hardly noting the surprise on Malfoy's face or the blood streaming out of his nose, Kat spun on her heel and stalked out. In the common room she saw Pansy's worried look but didn't care when the girl raced up the stairs. Instead she just left through the portrait and wandered around. Once she was slightly calmer she decided to finish some personal research she'd been meaning to do for a month. It was past time she figured out what the Ra'Shel were._

_End Flashback_

Sighing, Kaitlin leaned back in her chair. She'd finally finished her essay and now could focus on her own research. The problem was there was only one small book on the Ra'Shel. She wasn't sure if it would be able to tell her anything. Still, it was so much better then going back to the common room. No doubt every Slytherin was out for her blood. After all, she'd punched their bloody prince.

Leaning back, she started reading the book. As feared, though it spoke of the Ra'Shel it was more about the mystic legend of six normal animals that turned magical. They were called the Ra'Shel and at the end of the legend they were all turned to charms, their knowledge and power sealed until needed. Now they were scattered across the world. The otter, the wolf, the falcon, the beaver, the deer, and the woodpecker.

Pausing, Kat glanced at her bracelet. First the otter had changed. Then the wolf. First she got the otter charm. Then the wolf one. Was it possible that this horribly written and rather cliché legend was actually true?

About to stand up Kaitlin noticed a book beside her. It was the one she'd gotten after the otter. The one she knew was still in her trunk. But here it was, beside her. Hesitantly, she opened it and read.

_At one point in time, all wolves were white. Every-single-one. There wasn't another color. One wolf was named Tala. Tala hated the color white and decided to be another color. She went to the nearby village, snuck in quietly, and stole a pot of red paint. When she found an open area she dumped it on the ground to make a puddle. She rolled in the puddle till she was red all over. Then she went to the river to look at her reflection and see her knew color._

_When she got to the river, she frowned. "I look horrible in this color," she said. "Red is not my color." So she went back to the village and stole a put of yellow paint. Tala went back to the open area and dumped the pot on the ground and rolled until she was yellow all over. She went to the river to see the results. She frowned. "I look like a dead leaf in autumn," she grumbled. "Yellow is not my color." Again she went to the village, this time stealing green paint. Then she returned to the open area, dumped the paint and rolled in it until she was green all over. Yet again, Tala went to the river. Her reflection did not make her happy._

"_I look like a rotting fruit," Tala complained. "Green is not my color."_

_For the last time, she returned to the village and stole a pot of blue paint. She dumped it on the open area and rolled in it until every inch of her fur was covered in blue paint. She returned to the river and sat down, shaking her head._

"_I look like a night sky," she said. Then she asked the river, "River, will you wash the paint off my fur?"_

"_Certainly," said the river._

_Tala jumped into the river and rolled until she was clean. "Thank you, River," she said._

_The River chuckled. "But you did not get all the paint off. All those colors mixed to gray. You're whole back is covered in gray paint."_

"_Oh well," Tala grumbled. "It's better then white."_

"And what am I to learn from that?" she asked no one. Curious, she opened the Ra'Shel book once more. In the very back was the list of members and the characteristics each one stood for. The otter stood for those who were unconventional, effective, quirky, perceptive, intuitive, friendly, sensitive, sympathetic, courageous, honest, and playful. Basically everything she had read about in the legend. The wolf stood for those who were passionate, generous, affectionate, gentle, impractical, obsessive, vindictive, and independent. Well, the wolf from the legend certainly represented all those negative traits. Actually, even the Ra'Shel wolf started that way. It wasn't until she was exposed to the otter that she had changed. Could it be that the charm she had was all the negative the wolf had been before? If so, then surely things would improve now that she was with the otter once more.

Realizing what she was thinking, Kat shook her head. She was putting way to much thought into it. Instead she just wrote a short letter to Hermione and called a house elf to take it to her. Once that was done she stood, noting the time. If she didn't hurry she'd be out of the dorms after curfew. But she couldn't go back there cause they would all murder her. Instead she made her way up to the astronomy tower. Though the weather was chilly she curled up under her invisibility cloak and fell asleep. Maybe tomorrow would be better.

Maybe.

But probably not.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Eh…it's okay I guess. Not really what I was hoping for but my brain has yet to return from camping so it will do. Hope you all liked it. On to the reviews._

_AprilMarlene: (droops) I have been screwing up, haven't I? I am a firm believer that most of the Slytherin's aren't evil like they appear but I didn't mean to change so much. Also, just wondering, how is Kaitlin Mary Sue? I didn't think I was making her that perfect. I'm not insulted by your review, just a little ashamed of myself. And it's my first shot at writing Harry Potter, not writing. Just wanted to clear that up. Thanks for your help!_

_Trexie: It's tame to all girls. It's devastating to a boy turned girl. That's why it was so much fun to throw in. She does alright in Slytherin except for now. Camp was…okay I guess. I hate being a camper but the summer after next I'm going to apply for a job there. I think it will be much better as a counselor then as a camper._

_Oh yeah, if any of you know of any good Native American legends for the remaining animals, the falcon, beaver, deer, and woodpecker, I'd appreciate your help. I've looked everywhere and can't find any good ones. Even my wolf one sort of sucks. So…yeah! Thanks for your help ahead of time!_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	7. D is for Die

Painfully, Kat got off the floor. She glanced around in confusion before she remembered what had happened the day before. Groaning, she almost let her head strike the floor again. There was no way she'd ever be able to return to Slytherin now. How could she have been so stupid?

A soft hoot made her crack her eyes open. Spotting the source of the sound she smiled and held up her arm. "Hello Hedwig," she said when her owl landed. The animal simply hooted again and nibbled the girl's ear, making her giggle. "Stop it girl. If people see you do that they'll figure out who I am." Reluctantly, the owl obeyed.

"Surprised you kept it a secret this long."

Yelping, Kaitlin spun around. There, lounging against the doorway, was Kari. The girl had a cigarette in her hand and was staring off into the brightening sky. "I didn't think this would be a comfortable place to sleep," she remarked offhandedly. Apparently she wasn't expecting an answer as she instantly shrugged and took a drag. "Not that I'm surprised. It must be better then sleeping in a pit of snakes. Even more so when all those snakes want your blood."

"Who are you?" Kaitlin interrupted. She was tired of this strange girl that kept messing with her life. Enough was enough.

"Kari LeNair," was the simple reply. "The last of the LeNair family. And you are Harry Potter. Savior of the wizarding world, recently turned female. What does it matter who I am? I'm covering for you and giving you every excuse you could need."

"But why?" Potter demanded. "I don't even know you! I just met you randomly in a random store. Over the past month you've given me the bracelet, the book, your family name; who the bloody hell are you?"

Kari just smiled and shook her head. "Can't say," was her only response before she suddenly turned to the stairway behind her. "If you're planning on avoiding your new housemates I'd go now. With a little luck you can reach the kitchens and eat there without one catching you. And who knows, maybe the teachers will ease off you."

Wanting to demand answers but knowing the silver haired girl was right, Kat nodded tersely and walked off. With some skill and just plain luck she made it down to the kitchens. There she found Dobby and convinced the house elf to bring her some breakfast. She ate rather fast before nearly running to class. Luck was on her side as this class was with the Gryffindor's. True, they growled when she came in but once they saw how much the other Slytherin's glared and hissed at her they were quick to defend her. It actually brought a bitter smile to her face. The true Gryffindor motto at work. Any enemy of a Slytherin is a friend of ours.

It went like that throughout the day. Time and time again the other students would see the hostility between Kat and the other Slytherin's and would come to her rescue. Even the other teachers noticed and were slightly nicer. For some reason this just pissed Potter off even more. These people knew nothing of the real Slytherin. They didn't know that the girls would have slumber parties or that the boys often played drinking games. They didn't know that sometimes the Slytherin common room looked more like a club then school room. And yet they dared to judge her house!

Merlin, things were so complicated now.

At one point she ever saw Malfoy. He had a bruise around his nose and it looked slightly crooked, making her frown. Hadn't he gotten it healed yet? She didn't go over and ask of course. Besides the fact that she'd have to go through countless Slytherin's just to talk, she didn't actually care. If he'd decided to let it heal naturally then fine. It was his life.

About to go to dinner, Kaitlin suddenly felt something small strike the back of her head. Whirling around she spotted Ron. He smiled and jerked his thumb to the ceiling. 'Training Room,' he mouthed before walking off. It took her a moment for her to figure out what he meant. The Room of Requirement! He was telling her to meet there. Glancing around to make sure no one was nearby, she took off for the stairs.

It only took her a moment to reach the wall and then a moment more for the door to reveal itself. Confidently, she stepped in to be met with her two friend's smiling faces.

"Sorry I'm late," she chirped as she closed the door.

"It's fine," Hermione assured her. "We've only been here a minute. Come, sit down. I found out some more about the Ra'Shel." That caught Kat's attention and she happily fell into a nearby couch.

"Spill it," she ordered, feeling like Harry Potter once more. It'd been a long time since he'd felt so natural.

"Basically, the legend is correct," Hermione said, sitting across from Kaitlin, Ron at her side. "The Ra'Shel were once normal muggle animals. However, some rogue elf infused them with magic and they became the rulers of the animal world. Each one had a very unique personality and together they created what is now known as the Wheel. The Wheel is an emblem of power and unity. It's supposed to be used when to beings of opposite sides join together and bond. Now, they can be opposite in any sort of way. In spirit, personality, temperament, race, background. Any type. Basically, if two very different people bond together the Wheel is used.

"Back on subject though. About seven thousand years ago a crisis struck the earth. Up till that time humans and animals co-existed in harmony. Something changed though, turning humans into what we are now. The ultimate predator that hunted everything they could. More then anything though, they wanted to kill the Ra'Shel. If the Ra'Shel were to ever die all animal kind would be thrown into chaos. That's why they…Harry, are you listening to me?"

"Huh?" Kat asked, snapping out of her trance. "Oh, sorry 'Mione. It's just, I already read the legend. I don't need you to recount it to me."

Huffing in exasperation, Hermione leaned back and glared at the now embarrassed raven. "In a nutshell then. To protect animal kind the Ra'Shel went to the elves and had said elves turn them into what we call charms. The charms were then spread across the world, to further protect them. However, there was a prophesy that when the destiny of humans and animals merged once more those charms would gather together and revive. So yes, there is a chance that your two charms are the first to Ra'Shel."

Nodding, Kat looked down at her bracelet. Who would have thought that two harmless charms could be two of the most powerful being in the world? And if two were here, where were the other four?

Putting the Ra'Shel aside, the three friends caught up with each other. A month's worth of chat and gossip was covered in a few hours before Hermione and Ron had to go. Deciding that the Room of Requirement was more comfortable then the astronomy tower Kaitlin just nodded as the left before curling up onto the couch. After a moment's debate she summoned her word journal and once it arrived she opened it.

_Die_

Without even a moment's hesitation, she wrote her reply.

_I regained my wish to DIE._

The book responded nearly instantly.

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to **die**. -Leonardo Da Vinci

"How right you are," she sighed before closing the book once more. This was going to be a long year. And that wasn't even including the constant threat of Voldermort.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Short, I know. My brain is not into this right now so let's just get the reviews over with._

_Trexie: Kat is feisty. I agree. You're Native American! Cool! I'm part Native American and I sort of look it but I don't know many of there legends. What tribe are you from? Umm…Can you just make a suggestion on the stories? Cause I'm really stuck._

_AprilMarlene: No, no, you weren't harsh. You were right. I was really screwing up and didn't notice until your review. I probably won't get as close to the real one as you prefer but I'll try harder to even it out. As for Kat being a Mary Sue…give me some time? I haven't gotten into the story enough to show her flaws. She does have them, just like Harry. I just haven't gotten there yet. Sorry._

_Nightwing27: o.O Bastard son? Umm…I don't think Draco is a bastard son. But still, glad you like my story!Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	8. E is for Enemy

"Kat."

Freezing, Kaitlin turned around slowly. Her eyes rested upon Malfoy and hardened. His nose still didn't look as perfect as it had but it wasn't bruised anymore. That wasn't to surprising of course. After all, it had been nearly two months since she'd punched him. Two months of dodging Slytherin's. Two months of sneaking around the castle. Two months of avoiding the various traps and spell.

Two months of near torture because she felt like she was missing something.

Warily, she eased to the side, waiting for Malfoy to say something. When all he did was fidget she glared at him. "What?" she finally said shortly. There was a brief flash of pleasure as she watched him jump at her tone. Good to know she could still make him uneasy.

"About before," he said quietly, "I wanted to explain."

"Don't bother," she snapped. "No need to explain. You tortured younger students for no better reason then you enjoyed it. That's not something you can explain away. Nor is it something you can apologize for. Not that you would anyway. After all, you're nothing but an insufferable brat."

Silence reigned as both teens fought their tempers. Offhandedly Kat noticed how handsome Malfoy looked just then. With his pale skin slightly flushed and panting lightly. Was that what he would look like after…don't go there!

Thinking the conversation was over, Potter turned away. She had to hurry and get to her next class. After all, McGonagall would kill her if she was late.

"I'm sorry."

Again, Kaitlin froze. Did she seriously just hear that? Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Ice Prince, son of Death Eaters, apologizing? After a few tense moments she resumed her walking.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to," was all she said as she left him behind.

XxXxXxXxX

Frustrated, Kat resisted throwing her book. She'd gone to the library to do some research but the students near her wouldn't shut up! They were all whispering and laughing. Where was Madame Pince when she was needed? Even Mrs. Norris would be welcome just then. Merlin, if they didn't stuff it she was going to do it for them!

Just as she was about to snap Kat's ears perked up.

"I couldn't believe it. The guy actually apologized to me."

"No way! Seriously? Draco Malfoy apologized?"

"Yeah. He said he was sorry that he'd had his goons beat me two months ago."

"Seems miracles do still happen."

Ignoring their laughter, Kaitlin leaned back, lost in thought. Draco had done it. He'd gone and apologized, just like she'd basically told him to. Not only that, he'd apologized to her as well. That was a historic moment.

So why did she feel upset about it?

Glancing at the charms Kat's lips quirked up in a bad imitation of a smile. "Don't suppose you can tell me?" she joked. The only response was a friendly chirp and irritated growl. "Didn't think so."

Confused, Potter stood up and started wandering around. She didn't even notice when she'd left the library. All she could think about was Malfoy. He'd done what she'd told him to but she wasn't happy about it. If anything, she was upset. How could that be? Shouldn't she be ecstatic right about now?

Although, really, as much as she hated his attitude, was she right in forcing him to apologize? After all, he'd been nothing but cruel to her since she got to Hogwarts. Well, the first time around. Because of that she'd grown pretty fast. In all honesty, if it hadn't been for Malfoy she wouldn't be as good as she was. He'd given her an excuse to train and strive for the best. That was the true source of her success. Trying to be better then him. Trying to beat him. If he'd ever apologized to her that never would have happened.

Stopping, Kat leaned against the wall and sighed. Draco Malfoy apologizing was inconceivable. And therein lay the whole problem. She'd forced him to be someone he wasn't. After a whole life of being what everyone wanted her to be she should have known better. There was nothing crueler then forcing someone to be something beside themselves.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been there but by the time Potter had come back to reality the hall was dark. The moon had already risen but wasn't too high. Probably an hour before curfew. So that's where she headed. But this time she headed away from the Room of Requirement…

…and to the common room instead.

The second she stepped through the portrait everything fell silent. Most of the Slytherin's were glaring at her but none moved. Even Pansy and the rest of the court just watched her. Malfoy was oddly missing.

After a few tense seconds Pansy jerked her head towards the boy's stairs. "He said if you were to ever show up we were to let you up to see him," she said icily. Kat just nodded and calmly walked over and up. She could feel the burning glares on her back but focused on what was before her. She only had one chance to make up for everything.

Quietly, she walked down the hall till she came to Malfoy's room. It was easily recognizable by the crown on it. Seriously, overkill much? Still, she knocked respectfully and waited till she heard the muffled, "Come in." Taking a deep breath, she obeyed.

The inside was surprisingly bright. He probably had more torches then the rest of the dorms combined. And, surprisingly, he had colors other then green and silver. In fact, his bed was a deep blue that she instantly fell in love with. But then her eyes fell upon Malfoy himself and she remembered why she was there. He opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off by bowing suddenly.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, making him snap his mouth shut. "I was wrong this whole time. It's not that I agree with what you did. I still think it's disgusting. But…it's who you are and I should have respected that. Instead I tried to force you to be something else. That's my mistake. I just get too noble sometimes and don't really pay attention to every side of the issue."

Silence fell. For a moment Kat thought she'd be rejected before she heard a sigh of relief. "Thank you," was all Malfoy said but it was enough. Potter was just about to leave when he continued. "I assume this means we'll be seeing you at meals and break times again." His drawl was just so perfect she couldn't help but chuckle. Now this was the Malfoy she knew.

"If I have nothing better to do," she said flippantly, making him smile and grinning back. Really, Fate was really screwed up, having her fall in love with him. It would never work. They were still to different.

Turning to leave, Kat suddenly held up her bracelet. "Thanks again," she said before walking out. Rather then go back to the common room she just dashed down the boy stairs and up the girl before anyone could catch her. Once safe in her room she flopped on the bed. It was so good to be back! And that was saying something.

XxXxXxXxX

Still slightly nervous, Kat kept a small space between her and Pansy. The Slytherin girl hadn't quite forgiven her yet for punching Draco. Heck, only Draco himself had. Still, that resulted in life returning to the warped normal it had been since the first day. She hung out with Slytherin's, ate with them, and put up with biased teachers. And for some reason it felt really nice.

Entering McGonagall's class Kat quickly took her seat. She easily ignored the glares and muttering around her as she brought out her book and waited. It was in that few moments of quiet that she overheard a conversation between three Gryffindor's.

"I knew it was too good to be true."

"You can say that again. We should have been expecting it."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Malfoy. He apologized to Jeffery yesterday. Then today he totally humiliated Amelie. She ended up running away, sobbing."

"And to think, I'd thought he'd grown up."

Smirking, Kat just shook her head. Things were back to normal.

"Gonna force him to apologize again?" Pansy asked sharply. Kat just shook her head as McGonagall walked in.

"No. I'm not going to try and change him again. I learn from my mistakes."

Before Pansy could reply a giant paper owl suddenly swooped into the class. It instantly refolded itself to be a smiling image of Dumbledore.

"Hello students," it said. "It is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Suchen. Now, as many of you know, the Suchen is a randomly selected time when one hundred students from every magic school are paired to another student in their school before getting married. This is a magical contract that no one can break and the time has just come. I will now announce the lucky Hogwart pairs."

Tuning the headmaster out, Kat let her mind wander back to the night before. After she'd gotten back to her room she'd gone to her word journal. As expected, a new word had been there.

_Enemy_

It had taken a while of thinking before she'd finally found her response.

_I learned you were no longer my ENEMY._

Strangely, it had taken a few minutes for the response to come and when it did it surprised her.

A doubtful friend is worse then a certain **enemy**. -Unknown

"Bloody book's reading my mind," she'd growled before putting it away. She'd then gone to sleep after having a short growling argument with the wolf. Tala, right?

"And the final couple," the paper Dumbledore called out loudly, snapping Potter back to the real world. "Draco Malfoy and Kaitlin LeNair!"

A deathly silence fell over the class as Kat stared. Vaguely they could all hear exclamations from around the school but none could look away from her pale face. Finally she blinked and shook her head.

"Bloody hell," she muttered before fainting.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Eh. Okay I guess. I think this story is starting to scare me. It's shaping up to be a really long one. Besides, it now has my highest number of alerts and highest favorites of my unfinished stories. It also has the lowest review count of my multi-chapter stand alone stories. That's sort of depressing. By the way, Suchen is German for Seeking. I was going to call it Hunting but that was used by a different author and I didn't want to take it. So…yeah. On to the reviews._

_SunshineAndDaisies: They're working on it. Don't worry._

_RosesAreForever23: I'm glad you liked it so much! I try to update every day so you shouldn't have to wait to long._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	9. F is for Families

Furious, Kaitlin stormed through the halls. She didn't even notice people dash out of her way, afraid to interrupt her. All she cared about was getting to the bloody headmaster. How could he do this? Merlin's beard, she had just broken the blonde git's nose two months ago. What part of that hinted that they could get married?

Finally reaching the gargoyle, Kat was forced to pull up short. Judging by the utter mass of students there she wasn't the only one upset by the pairings. She was just about to order everyone aside when she remembered; she wasn't Harry Potter anymore. There was no reason for her to get special treatment now. Before, maybe she could have gotten him to denounce this stupid thing. Now? No way.

Hearing a bunch of female squeals, she turned to see Malfoy walking towards her. Instantly she stiffened, not because of him but because every girl in the vicinity turned to glare at her. She wanted to scream, 'Give me a break! It's not like I asked to be paired with him!'

"LeNair," he greeted only to smirk at her instant glare. "Kaitlin, forgive me. We need to talk. Now, preferably." Stiffly, Kat nodded and moved to walk away before hesitating. Then, with a sarcastic bow, she indicated for him to lead. For just a moment she saw his lips twitch up in a smile before he swept past her. Silently, she followed. After a few minutes they were out by the lake, sitting beneath one of the many willows. Silence still ruled until Malfoy finally sighed.

"You aren't happy with this," he said bluntly. Potter just shrugged, her gaze on the water and unfocused.

"I don't agree with it," she said softly. "I don't approve. Honestly, I can think of a lot of worse futures then being married to you. The thing is, right now, I can also think of a lot of better ones. Don't get me wrong, financially you're probably the best choice." 'I just won't mention that I'm nearly as rich thanks to Sirius and my parents,' she thought with a smile. "It's just…well, quite honestly we don't get along. Your nose is proof of that." Malfoy smirked at that, subconsciously reaching up and touching the slight bend in his nose.

They both stayed quiet for a while before Malfoy sighed. "It's not like there is anything we can do," he said with a hint of regret. "Suchen is a permanent contract. Even Harry Potter would have been bound to it if he'd been picked." Luckily he didn't notice Kat flinch at the name. "I guess all we can do is hope for the best and try to work it out."

Kat sighed and nodded, resigned. "I figured that was it. So, how long till we get married?" Malfoy thought for a moment before shrugging.

"I'll see if I can get father to postpone it," he said flippantly. "According to tradition, we're supposed to get married today, in a giant ceremony at dinner." Kat blanched, making Malfoy laugh. "Like I said, I'll talk to father. It's not actually a rule to get married on the day of the announcement. Just tradition. Some pairs have waited a few months. Although I do think it will have to be within the year of the announcement."

"That's two months," Potter said mournfully. "Tonight is Halloween." Shite, she'd forgotten that. Halloween, the bane of her existence. So far it was proving true to form.

"We'll take what we've got," Malfoy, Draco, insisted. He was really trying to make things easier. "Don't get me wrong on this Kaitlin. I think you're very beautiful and like you I can think of worse futures then being your husband. But I never meant to be serious in perusing you. So, I don't know about you, but if it's a choice between getting married now with no time to prepare and get used to the idea or get married in two months I'll take the two months."

After a moments thought, Kaitlin nodded. He was right. Better to take the time they could. "So anyone else we know get paired?" she asked. Draco obviously perked up at that.

"No one I'm close to," he said. "However, there were obviously other Slytherin's who got picked. I think even Peter ended up getting paired." An evil smile spread across both their faces at the name. That would be fun to watch. "I also heard that the Weasel and the Mudblood got paired together." Kat's heart soared at the thought but it was drowned out by her frown.

"Rule one," she said sharply, making Draco blink. Wait, when had he become Draco instead of Malfoy? "I won't ask you to change your thinking but please don't use that word around me. One of my best friends is muggle born and I hate people who call them Mudblood." Draco thought for a moment before nodding.

"Alright then," he agreed. It wasn't that hard really. Just don't say that word around her. He wasn't allowed to use it at home either. Wasn't that much of a difference.

Suddenly, Kaitlin got to her feet and turned to fully face the blonde. She had a mischievous grin on her face and her eyes were sparkling. Draco didn't know whether to laugh, groan, or cower away.

"We're going to do this correctly," she announced. "I can't avoid marrying you but I won't let anyone drag me to the alter if I'm unwilling. You've got two months to court me. Think you can do that?" Draco's eyes lit up at the challenge. Malfoy's did not lose.

"You're on," he said with a smile. Already he was planning her first gift. This was actually perfect. It would let them get to know one another. That could only be a positive in a marriage.

Watching Kaitlin walk off, Draco got up and headed to the owlry. If he hurried his father would get the letter before dinner and do something. If not, well, he'd be giving up his bachelor life long before planned.

XxXxXxXxX

Quietly, Kaitlin snuck through the hallways of the school. It was near midnight and she had an appointment to keep. Somehow Draco's father had managed to postpone their wedding and it was now set to take place on New Year's Eve. That not only gave them time to prepare but also gave her time to alert her family. Thus the sneaking around.

Finally reaching the Room of Requirement, she found the door already formed and stepped in. Instantly she was enveloped in warm arms and smiled gently.

"Hello Sirius." Pulling back she looked into the smiling eyes of her godfather. Remus stood nearby, a giant smile on his face. That smile dimmed when he saw her robes. It took a moment for him to process them and when he did his eyes grew wide.

"Slytherin?" he whispered, making Sirius glance down in surprise. Kaitlin realized she was blushing as she shifted under their gaze. She'd always been worried about how they would react. After all, they'd been so proud that she'd been in Gryffindor. Would that change?

"You look good in green." Apparently not. Kat laughed as Remus slapped Sirius for the comment. True, it was sort of childish but this was Sirius they were talking about. If he wasn't childish she would be worried. Finally calming them both down she guided them to the couches and they all caught up with each other. It wasn't until she mentioned the Suchen that things got tense.

"You're marrying a Malfoy?" Sirius yelped, his face pale. Even Remus looked decidedly ill at ease with the announcement. Kaitlin could only shrug helplessly.

"The Suchen paired us up. Draco said that it wasn't something we could fight. In fact, he said that even if I'd been paired as a boy I wouldn't have been able to change things. Of course, he was talking about Harry Potter but still. The only thing we've managed is his father postponed our wedding date. It's now set for New Year's Eve instead of having taken place at dinner."

"Never thought I'd have to thank that Malfoy bastard for anything," Sirius muttered, making Kat smile.

"Please don't Siri. After all, he doesn't know who I am and I'd like to keep it that way." Sirius just gave her a look before changing the subject. They talked for a while longer before Potter finally excused herself, claiming fatigue. Really, it was the opposite. She had so much nervous energy she couldn't stay still. With practiced ease she slipped out of the castle and ran to the quiditch pitch. There she was able to run freely, confident that she was alone.

"Nervous?"

Yelping, Kaitlin tried to spin around only to fall flat on her rear. She scrambled to her feet only to see Kari nearby. Instantly her pain turned to rage. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" she hissed. "Haven't you messed with my life enough?" Kari just shrugged, taking another drag from her ever present cigarette.

"Nah," she said easily. "There are still a couple things I need to tweak. Still, I'm glad to see the Suchen worked." Kat froze, shocked.

"The Suchen thing? You mean you're the one who paired me with Draco?"

"Yep. Of course, I wasn't entirely sure it would work. It's really hard to affect that stupid device. I simply gave it my best try. Glad it worked cause really plan B was such a hassle." The older teen glanced up at the moon and nodded. "You'll want to get back to your room soon. It's not safe for humans, even Saviors, to be out on this night."

"You're out," Kaitlin argued, not about to move. She quickly changed her mind when Kari looked at her again. After all, her eyes were now glowing rather brightly.

"I am out," Kari conceded, her voice a little different. "But tell me Harry. When did I ever say I was human?"

Without answering, Kat ran for the castle. She could hear creatures stirring in the woods and simply ran faster. In fact, she didn't even notice when she was back inside the castle. She just kept running until she came to the Slytherin portrait.

"Dark sprites," she panted, jumping through before it was even half way open. She was just about to dash for the stairs when she realized that Pansy was waiting for her. Guiltily, she opened her mouth to explain but stopped when Pansy held up her hand.

"Unless it involves me I don't want to know," she said. "We all have our secrets and we respect that. Just next time you go out for whatever make sure you tell someone. You know. In case you don't come back." Kat just nodded and followed her friend up the stairs. It didn't take her long to settle into her bed before she grabbed the journal. Merlin, if this didn't count for an important day she didn't know what would.

_Families_

"Never had one," she muttered before thinking about it. True, she'd never had one. But she'd seen them. She'd seen good ones and bad ones. Heck, she had seen her two best friends get married just a couple hours ago. Of course, they were both surprised and a little resentful but they were determined to make it work. And Draco had been willing to work it out with her. He had probably wanted to get it over with but he'd let her pick the pace. That's what a family was supposed to be like.

_I saw what FAMILIES were meant to be like._

**Families** are like fudge-mostly sweet with a few nuts. -Unknown

"Sirius," she said quietly with a smile. That was so a quote written for him. Done for the day, she put the journal back and snuggled under the covers. She only had five hours left to sleep. But as she drifted off she couldn't forget Kari, standing in the moonlight and so calmly saying she wasn't human. If that was the case…

…what was she?

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Dun-dun-SPLAT! Argh, I hate this story! I can't keep it with the real books! Everyone is just taking a life of their own. Damnit! You all still like it, right? On to the reviews!_

_Drarry-hell-yes: Lol. I'm glad I make you giggle. I've giggled myself a few times writing this. This then makes my mom look at me like, 'What is she on?' Hooray for random giggles!_

_Julius'Helper: I. Just. Did! Lol, apparently you like it._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Just a hint, this whole calm and collected thing is an act on Draco's part. He flips out soon. Promise._

_RosesAreForever23: Didn't have to wait long! Yeah, I thought that would be an appropriate thing to say just then._

_Trexie: I try and update every day. Camp really threw me off but I'm getting back into it. Lol, yep, Draco doesn't need to change too much. Kat doesn't like it but she's taking it in stride._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	10. G is for Gifts

Reluctantly, Kaitlin walked down the halls of school. Somehow she'd managed to ditch her Slytherin bodyguard. Merlin, she knew Draco was protective and possessive but wasn't that a little extreme? Anyway, point of the matter was that she was alone. And why was she alone? Because she had to tell someone who she really was and didn't want anyone else overhearing.

Oh so carefully, she made her way through the halls. It wasn't actually against the rules for her to be out but she wasn't taking any chances. Filch hated her just as much as he had when she'd been a boy. Although, really, Mrs. Norris seemed a tad nicer.

Finally reaching her destination, Kat looked around really fast before stepping in. Instantly she was hit with the smell of medicine and sterilization. Merlin, she hated the infirmary.

It took a moment but she finally found Madame Pomfrey in her office. Of course, as soon as the woman saw her she frowned. "Another scratch?" she asked sharply. Kaitlin had to bite her tongue to stop from hissing. Teachers she sadly understood but healers shouldn't be that biased.

"No," she said just as sharply. "I actually came down here to tell you something. Tell me, do you have DNA paper?" The nurse nodded, suspicion clear on her face. "I know for a fact that you won't believe what I'm about to tell you so instead of that would you consent to testing me with a strip?" Curiosity peaked, Pomfrey nodded and fetched a slip of the paper. Wordlessly, she got a drop of the girl's blood and caught it with the paper. Two words appeared.

Harry Potter

Gaping, Pomfrey stared at Kaitlin. Said girl could only shrug helplessly. "Sirius," was all she said but it was enough. Instantly the elderly healer snorted and looked outraged.

"When will that man grow up?" she complained, not noticing Kat's sad smile. Never. Sirius was incapable of growing up. That's why she loved him so much. He couldn't be an adult, she couldn't be a kid.

After a few short minutes explaining everything Kaitlin left once more. Now that Pomfrey knew she could return to the infirmary for healings. Much better then having to go to Snape. Even if the man was nicer he still constantly vandalized 'Harry Potter' and was ecstatic the boy wasn't there.

"If only he knew," Kat chuckled in dark humor. Maybe she would tell him someday. Just then she almost literally ran into Hermione. Both girls brightened and were about to greet each other when Ron stepped between them.

"What do you want, snake?" he hissed, making Kat blink in hurt. But then his eyes flicked to their right. Looking herself, Potter noticed a group of Slytherin watching nearby. Ah. That's why he did that.

"It's not my fault you Gryffindorks are to stupid to see past your uplifted noses," she said flippantly. Hermione had already caught on and laughed derisively.

"You're one to talk," she scorned. "Snakes don't know how to think so you can't claim to have been lost in thought."

To everyone watching the three combatants were really getting angry. Their faces were flushed, their words were getting louder, and the insults were getting progressively worse. The truth though was that the three friends were having fun. Their faces were flushed because they were stifling their laughs. Their voices were getting louder to be heard over the chatter of their growing audience. And the only reason the insults were getting worse was that they were trying to one up each other. If anything had been even slightly true they would have been miserable but they all knew each other so well it was more an act or a play.

Finally catching sight of McGonagall Kaitlin beat a hasty retreat. Her friends who knew who she was could be handled easily. A teacher who didn't know was another story.

Once back in the Slytherin common room, Kat allowed herself to relax. It was a weight off her shoulders, telling Pomfrey. Of course, Sirius could very well need to be on the look out for a hex from the old woman but hey. He deserved it. After all, if it hadn't been for him she wouldn't have to marry-

"Kaitlin."

Draco.

"Hello Draco," she said with a smile. Instantly her eyes widened at the sight of him. He'd left his robe somewhere (probably being torn apart by rabid fan-witches) and was just in a shirt and pants. The problem was that they fit him perfectly, showing off his sculpted body. Merlin, he was hot! Quiditch had given him muscles that Harry had just started noticing on himself before the whole potion thing.

This was doing nothing for Potter's morale. She didn't want to marry him! She didn't even like the blonde git. But how could she keep hating him when he looked like that?

And why was he looking at her like that?

"Is something wrong?" she asked, yanking her mind back to the present. Draco started and shook his head like he was trying to refocus as well. Odd. With the barest hint of a smile he gave her a wrapped box.

"You said we were going to do this marriage correctly," he reminded her. "Therefore I come bearing gifts and to ask if you would like to go out on a date with me at Hogsmeade on Saturday." Startled, Kat could only nod. He moved pretty fast. She'd thought they would spend the first month very awkward around each other.

"Then I will see you Saturday morning after breakfast," he said, a true smile tucked in at the corners of his mouth.

"Uh, r-right!" Potter finally managed to squeak. God, what was her problem? The Sex God of Hogwarts asks her on a date and she squeaks? Not to mention the stutter. Merlin, she'd thought that had disappeared along with her manhood. Then, to top it all off, she felt herself blush.

Why didn't pits suddenly open beneath a person when they were wanted?

Draco's POV

It had been hard but he'd done it. He'd finally managed to get up enough courage to give Kaitlin her gift and ask her on a date. Of course, Pansy's threat to do it herself if he didn't was great incentive. Now he had the immense pleasure of watching his fiancée blush. Merlin, she was gorgeous. Although that stutter was reminding him of someone. It was like a long forgotten name or face. He knew he knew it but didn't know how.

"I-I'll see you then…uh, where?" Kaitlin continued to stammer. Really, it was all endearing in a weird way. Of course, he prayed she didn't talk like this when hosting a party. Maybe his mother would help teach her.

"How about right near the school entrance?" he suggested, trying not to smile. She was so cute! Every standard he had on girls she seemed to meet. But could he really build a good marriage out of that? His own parent's marriage had been forced, he knew. True, they were best of friends now but they'd never truly loved each other. He didn't want that future. Was it fair to tell Kaitlin that he was looking for a way out of this?

No, he decided as he watched her get more flustered. He knew she didn't want it either but at least she was trying. It was more then he was doing. Better to just leave his thoughts to himself.

Finally Kaitlin managed to stilted goodbye and nearly ran to the girl's dorms. Smirking, Draco let her go and sauntered over to his chair. Blaise was already there, a haughty look on his face.

"Finally managed to ask her?" the Italian teased, smirking at the glare thrown his way. Seriously, Draco was one of his best friends but the brat needed to loosen up more. He'd been tense and nervous all morning, waiting to give that girl her present. Of course, as soon as it came time to act he was all smooth and perfect. How would people react if they knew he was a shaking mass of nervous before he did anything like that?

"Of course I asked her," Draco snapped, managing to make his collapse into his chair look regal. "And I gave her the gift. Now leave me alone."

"So what?" Blaise countered, leaning forward. "So you can worry yourself to death about her reaction to your gift? Merlin Draco, you're so confident in your normal life and then so timid in your personal one. If you don't start stepping out and taking some risks you're going to lose her. She's already proved she doesn't like cowards."

"Then this is all hopeless," the blonde growled but it sounded defeated. "I admit that I'm a coward. All Malfoy's are though I'm probably the only one who will say it aloud."

"You'd almost think it was inbred," Zabini sneered, startled when his friend laughed shortly.

"It is in a way," the boy said sadly. "When a Malfoy is born they are given a special potion before anything else. It changes the chemical balance of their minds so that they are paranoid from birth. So yeah, we're all cowards. The confident shite is just a show for everyone else."

Silent, Blaise leaned back. He hadn't meant to pry that much. While he was touched that Draco trusted him enough to tell him this he was still shocked. How could anyone do that to their family?

A sudden blur streaked past the two boys, coming from the boy side and heading to the girl. Zabini noticed Malfoy gulp and wanted to say a word of comfort but knew he would be brushed off. Coward the blonde may have been but he was also proud. He'd suffer alone and kill you if you tried to help.

And people said girls were high maintenance.

Kaitlin's POV

Finally escaping the common room, Kat ran for her room. Could she have made a bigger fool of herself? No doubt the ferret was laughing at her now. Either that or bemoaning about how he was going to have to marry an idiot.

Finally reaching the safety of her room Kat managed to stalk in, jump onto her bed and snap the curtains shut, ignoring the other girls. She caught a brief glimpse of Pansy's worried face just before her fortress closed. Let them think she was mad. Really, she was scared. What sort of gift would Draco get her anyway?

About to open the box Potter saw a note stuck to the lid. Curious, she went to open it when she noticed there was elegant writing on it.

_Do not open until you have used the present._

Curious, and just a little worried, Kat obeyed and opened the box. Her jaw dropped when she was what was inside. It was a beautiful recorder. It looked to be made of pure silver and had delicate carvings up and down its length. The whole thing was not actually all that long, looking more like a whistle, but shone with beauty and magic. Almost reverently, Kaitlin picked it up and turned it over in her hands. She had never received such a wonderful gift. And this was his first one to her? Made her wonder what any others would be like.

Remembering the note, Kat lifted the pipe to her lips and blew gently. A single, delicate note rang out, making her smile. Yes, she was overusing the word but it was beautiful.

Just about to put the pipe back Potter heard the door to the room burst open. Before she could react, a body tackled her through the curtains, making her fall back with a yelp. She fell totally off the bed, smacking her head hard on the floor. Dazed, she looked up into two warm amber eyes and a wet tongue. Groaning, she pushed the thing back so she could see it properly.

What greeted her was a young wolf pup.

Confused, Kaitlin managed to get back up in her bed. The puppy followed her and she closed the curtains again, ignoring the other girls chatter. Instead, she just gazed at the animal. She had to admit, they were cute. Their fur was grayish and fluffy, the paws way to big, and the eyes happy and excited. She was already in love with, she looked down to their underside, him. The question was, what was he doing here?

Curious again, she grabbed Draco's note and opened it. She didn't even notice as she stroked the puppy's head while she read.

_Kaitlin, I'm sure by now you're confused so I will try to explain. I told father that I was going to court you and he suggested a costly gift for starters. Something about showing off and setting the standard. Well, for a few moments I obeyed without question and got you the recorder. I had it built for you alone; the magic woven into it assures that. You are the only one who can play it. However, just as it was finished I realized that I didn't want to give you such an impersonal gift. Besides, you don't seem to be the kind of person who is impressed by riches. I didn't want you to think that was what I was all about._

_This left me with a dilemma. I already had the recorder to give but now I needed something else. After a while I was about to give up when I saw the puppy in a gift shop. He was rather miserable and the first thing I thought was that he needed a friend. That thought led me to you. Even though you call people friends, you tend to avoid them. It's like you're afraid of being friends. So I decided to get you one. I hope you both become fast friends._

_(At least this way you'll never wander around the school alone again.)_

_-Draco Malfoy_

Smiling gently, Kaitlin put the note down. Who would have thought the prat could be so sweet? If she didn't hate him so much she'd love him.

Looking down at the puppy her smile changed to a grin. "I can't call you Lupin," she said. "So how about Lupus?" Lupus yipped, his tail going crazy. Laughing, Kat just held out her arms and let him jump in. Happily, she got up to thank Draco.

However, before she left she noticed the word journal. Knowing there would be a word she awkwardly reached out and opened it.

_Gifts_

_I've learned to see each GIFT for what it is,_ she wrote around the squirming puppy. She couldn't help but laugh as he finally twisted around enough to lick her face. He was going to be torture when she needed to focus on her homework. Patiently, she waited for the book to respond so she could leave.

Each day comes bearing its own **gifts**. Untie the ribbons. -Ruth Ann Schabacker

"Alright then," she said, a little confused. That was a strange quote. However, as soon as she closed the book all thoughts of quotes flew out of her mind. Instead all she could do was smile as she stood with Lupus and went to the door. Opening it she heard Olive, one of the girls in her room, screeching in the common room.

"It was huge I tell you! A huge creature just burst into our room and wrecked it. Oh the destruction it caused. It ripped beds apart and pulled us to the floor! It was a monster!"

Blinking, Kat looked down at her armful of puppy that just looked back with a smile. Hmm…well, she supposed Monster could be his nickname.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: I am so sorry this is late! I got a new game, Zoo Tycoon, and totally got addicted to it. I actually played for ten straight hours yesterday. Forgot about everything else. Eh-he. Sorry. So…what did you all think? I thought it was sort of fun. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Lol! Sorry about that. Didn't mean to make you feel lazy. I just like writing. When I'm not playing games of course. It may be a while before we figure out about Kari but we will eventually._

_Julius'Helper: Yeah, I just had to put them together. I think they're a good couple._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Glad I'm not the only one looking forward to that. Don't worry, it's coming soon._

_Riniko22: (shrugs) Sorry you didn't like that. It's just where I felt the story was going so I did it. I don't think there will be any bitterness but hey, I can't force you to keep reading. All I will say is that in the end they choose and aren't forced._

_Drarry-hell-yes: Yeah well if you are sent there they'll come after me next so I'll keep you company._

_Godwolf Fenrir: Yay! I'm glad you like it!_

_AprilMarlene: Lost you too? Oh well. I can understand why people don't like that part. Don't know if I'm ever going to do another Drarry one though. People don't seem to like the way I do it. (gets a little frustrated) You most of all. Still, maybe later. I may just go back to FF VII._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	11. Falcons are stupid

Frustrated, Kaitlin threw her hands up in the air and collapsed on her bed. She couldn't find anything to wear! Merlin, it was a simple date. Just a little trip into Hogsmeade; no big deal. Okay, sure, the date was with Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts Sex God and her fiancé but still. And it wasn't even that she didn't have the right clothes. No, the opposite. She had too many clothes. She must have torn through the whole bloody wardrobe and had just too many options. It really didn't help that she had no idea what girls were supposed to wear on these sort of things.

"Having trouble?" Pansy asked as she walked in. Really, she leaves the room for five minutes and the place looks like it went through a tornado.

"Pansy!" Kat shrieked, nearly leaping off the bed. "You have to help me! I have a date with Draco today and I have no idea what to wear!"

"Just wear something like you've worn on other dates," the other girl said easily, picking up a random shirt. Still, she didn't miss the slight droop of her friend's shoulders. "You have been on other dates, right?"

Potter thought back to that disastrous date with Cho but shook her head. She didn't think that counted.

"Merlin," Pansy whispered, shocked. "A hot girl like you and never gone on a date? Never saw that coming."

"Rub it in why don't you," Kat grumbled glaring at her clothes. "But while you're at it, help me figure out what to wear." Laughing, the Slytherin girl obeyed and together they finally found the outfit. Once Kaitlin was all dressed she paced nervously.

"Will you keep Lupus with you?" she asked Pansy distractedly. The puppy would probably just be a pest and distract both her and Draco.

"Sure," Parkinson said warily, eyeing the puppy. How do you politely tell your friend that their pet is evil, she wondered. For while Lupus was nothing but sweet and obedient with her he was a terror to anyone else.

Just then the bell rang, calling everyone to breakfast. Kaitlin hesitated for a moment, making sure that Draco was not waiting, before grabbing her cloak and going downstairs. For some reason she was nervous about if he would like her outfit or not. Great Merlin, did girls always go through this before a date? How did they not die from anxiety?

Finally reaching the Great Hall Kaitlin ignored everyone else and sat down. If she noticed that she sat as far from the 'court' as possible she didn't notice.

Draco, on the other hand, did. He instantly looked at Blaise, confusion and fear in his eyes. Growling, Blaise reached out and grabbed Malfoy's arm before he could bolt. No way was he letting the brat run for it now. Not after all those hours of listening to him fret and then the three hours spent this morning trying to figure out what the git should wear. Oh no, he was not backing out now.

Tense silence fell on the table as the two teens ate. Draco was trying hard not to let his butterfly's erupt from his mouth while Kat was berating herself. She could face Voldermort without blinking an eye and was terrified about going on a date with Draco. Some hero she turned out to be. Or would that be heroine now? Ah, who cared?

Breakfast ended too soon and Kaitlin reluctantly made her way to the school entrance. Other students were there and milling about but it was Draco who caught her eyes. He was leaning against the wall, a slightly nervous look on his face. What shocked her the most was what he was wearing. Black jeans and a silver turtle neck. They were so beautiful yet informal that she suddenly over dressed. Odd, her teal skirt and light blue blouse hadn't seemed too special before.

Just then Draco noticed her and smiled, walking over. "I was beginning to wonder if you were dumping me," he joked, covering up his relief. Kat just smiled bashfully and finally took her cloak off. She watched in surprise when Draco's eyes first widened then glowed in pleasure. "You look gorgeous," he said, his eyes on hers. Hmm…had her eyes always been that green? And there it was again, that long lost memory. How did he know her? "Did you pick out the clothes?"

"Sort of," Kat replied honestly as McGonagall shuffled all the students out. She didn't even notice when her hand ended up in his. "I picked out the skirt then Pansy helped me find the blouse. So, uh, I'm not overdressed?"

"Not at all," Draco was quick to reassure her. "We're just going to wander around looking at things, have lunch, then come back. Nothing special. Unless, of course, you'd rather do something else?" He hadn't thought that maybe she'd be bored with his plan. But she just smiled and shook her head.

"Sounds perfect," she said before letting her gaze wander around. It finally settled on the lake and her smile grew softer. She loved the water. Any sort of water really. And the lake really was so beautiful just then. It had a thin layer of ice, just enough to reflect the sun, and was surrounded by pristine white snow. The trees were hanging around it, laden with snow and ice. It reminded her of all those perfect Christmas cards the Dursely's had always gotten. After the holidays they'd never noticed her taking the cards and saving the pictures. In fact, she had a whole box full of them that she would look at whenever she got depressed.

Draco, of coursed, noticed her gaze. He couldn't see what the big deal was but when he saw how calm and peaceful she was he noted it. Even if he did escape this marriage he still needed to know what made her happy.

Once at Hogsmeade Draco let Kat lead them around. They visited every store and the blonde made special note of what she found interesting. To his amazement, she would take anything simple and humble over anything complex and showy every time. She even chose to feed a sparrow instead of petting the falcon he found at the pet shop.

Of course, not only was Draco observing but he was also being observed. In that one morning Kaitlin learned more about him then she had ever thought she would. Small things like his favorite color being yellow. How he would hum softly when he was thinking. His childish but very cute habit of kicking at the snow to watch it dance in the air.

Slowly, the two began to relax around each other. It even got to the point where, when Kat tried on this utterly horrifying hat at one of the shops Draco actually laughed. They were still laughing about it when they stopped for lunch. When the other students saw them they could only stop and stare. There wasn't a single person who could deny that, together, the two Slytherin's almost seemed to glow. Ron and Hermione couldn't help but smile at the sight. They'd been worried about Kaitlin marrying Draco but if things kept going this way then everything would be fine.

Just about to suggest that they leave, Draco spotted a small odds and ends shop. Remembering that he had met Kaitlin in just such a shop he suggested they stop there last. Once inside they both wandered off, secretly searching for a gift for the other. Kaitlin had just found hers, a small silver dragon that could be worn as a bracelet (at least, it could after she argued with it) when something caught her eye. Surprised, she started digging through the pile of junk and there, at the bottom, she found a small charm in the form of a diving falcon.

'The falcon's the third one,' she thought, glancing at her own charms. For the first time she couldn't hear either one. Were they waiting on her? After all, this charm was different from them. It wasn't a gift; she didn't have to take it. She could turn away right then and leave it to waste away. Seriously, she already had to deal with Voldermort and being the Savior of the magical world. She didn't need ancient animals using her for whatever purpose. Still…

Sighing, Kat picked up the charm and went to the front to buy both items. As soon as the charm was bought and on her bracelet she heard the otter chirp happily while the wolf just snorted. Apparently they weren't impressed.

"Well sorry," she told them with a smile, eyeing the new charm. 'Will the book appear again?' she thought. Suddenly it was beside her hand, already open. 'Apparently so.' Resigned, she picked it up and read what the pages showed her.

_A mallard and his mate were raising their children when autumn began to approach. The old mallard gathered his family and together they flew south. As they flew over a large lake Falcon saw them. Falcon was far higher then them and dove down, striking the old mallard in the back. But Flacon struck at the wrong angle and both birds fell to the ground. The mallard managed to right himself and flew off but Falcon hit the ground, breaking his wing._

_Autumn and winter came and Falcon remained on the ground. He learned to hunt the smaller creatures of the ground and hid in logs and caves from Weasel and Fox. Slowly his wing healed to the point that he could manage short flights once more. Then spring came once more and the mallards started returning from the south. One old mallard landed on the lake with his family and puffed out his chest._

"_And this, children, is where I defeated our great enemy, Falcon," he bragged. Falcon remembered the voice of his enemy and leapt into the sky once more. Without warning he struck the old mallard, killing him instantly before rising into the sky and soaring away._

"Lesson learned: never piss off a falcon," Potter scoffed. Really, out of all the stories this was the stupidest. What did it have to do with the falcon anyway?

Just about to leave Kat saw Draco getting his purchase. He saw her at the same time and came over, a smile on his lips. "I got you something," he said happily, handing her a small box. Inside she found a living silver item, much like the one she had gotten him. The difference was hers was an actual snake. It lifted his head and looked around, hissing.

_Where is that human who put me in this box? I will bite him,_ it hissed in agitation. Kaitlin was about to reply when she remembered that her identity as a Parselmouth was secret. Instead she just beamed at Draco.

"It's perfect," she said honestly, pretending not to notice when the snake's head looked up at her. _Great, another stupid human for a master._ A muscle in her jaw twitched at that but she ignored it. "I got something for you too."

Draco was ecstatic with his dragon. Unlike Kat and the snake, he and his new 'pet' got along perfectly from the beginning and as they walked back up to the school it rode on his shoulder. On their way Draco noticed her new charm and smiled. "Trying to make your own Ra'Shel set?" he asked playfully, noticing her jump at the word Ra'Shel.

"Something like that," she muttered. Knowing he was on dangerous ground Malfoy let it drop. Upon reaching the common rooms the two parted ways, Kat ducking into the hallway and checking that they were alone before glaring at her snake.

"_For your information I'm not stupid and I can understand you," _she hissed at it, making it's head rise.

_You speak my language?_

"_Yes I do; I'm a Parselmouth."_

_My apologies then. After so many 'masters' that couldn't understand me I thought you would be the same._

"_Well I'm not. Now please quit hissing all the time."_

Still alone, Kat finished her trip to her room and opened the door. Instantly she was tackled by a flying wolf pup and hit the wall with a yelp. Inside the room she saw a very disheveled Pansy and a virtually destroyed room. "For the sake of everyone's sanity please never leave him behind again," P.K. whimpered before collapsing on her bed. Kat could only shake her head as she gently scolded the puppy and settling on her own, blessed untouched, bed. Deciding that a nap was in order, she kicked off her shoes and curled up, fading into sleep. Just before she did though she realized that Draco had bought that falcon from the pet store. Why was that important?

Before the thoughts could go any further she was lost in the world of dreams. However, in them, she heard a soft song being sung over and over. The voice reminded her of someone but she couldn't figure out who. All she had was the song.

_Que, que, na-to-ra_

_Du wirst es verstehn_

_Lausche mit dem Herz_

_Denn wirst du verstehn_

_Lass den Weg dir weisen_

_Von den Welllen, die verge hen_

_Lausche mit dem Herz_

_Denn wirst du verstehn_

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: I really didn't like that legend but I couldn't find any other good ones. Hopefully the other animals won't be so hard. Uh…you can all probably translate that song and find it pretty fast but just to be cruel I won't tell you what language it is. You'll have to figure it out yourselves. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Thanks, it means a lot to know some people support me. Lol, at least you're still writing. So many writers stop right in the middle of the story. I hate those kind._

_SunshineAndDaisies: I think everybody loved Draco's first gift. At least, I hope so._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	12. H is for Healing

Bored, Kaitlin zoned out as Professor Binn's rambled on and on about the Third Goblin War. Hadn't they covered this already? A lot of the names were sounding rather familiar. Of course, they always did in this class.

Tired, the raven let her eyes wander the class. She almost laughed when she saw Blaise totally out, drooling on his desk. Oh her kingdom for a camera. Just beside him was Draco. The blonde looked just as bored as she was but at least he was putting on an act of paying attention. More so then she was at least.

Just then his gaze met hers and they both froze. After a couple moments Kaitlin blushed and turned sharply away. Why did he have to affect her in such a way? Sure, the first date had been awesome but she couldn't let herself get attached. After all, she'd overheard Pansy and Blaise talking about it. Draco was fighting the contract as much as humanly possible. He did _not_ want to marry her and nothing was going to change that. Wouldn't it be better to distance herself?

_Is something wrong?_

Sadly, Kat looked down at her wrist. Her silver snake, who had introduced himself as Zareb, was looking up at her in concern. After that initial argument they'd gotten along perfectly. There hadn't been a single moment that they had been separated. Zareb would simply ride around on her, as a necklace or bracelet or something of the kind. The same was true for Draco and his dragon, Lennan.

'_It's nothing.'_

_It's not nothing if it upsets you._

'_Ah…point. Let's put it this way. It's nothing anyone can help with.'_

Just then Binn's ended his lecture and Kaitlin got up to leave. Because of a new Voldermort threat all the students were being sent home for a week so that the wards could be renewed. Kat had had an interesting time (note the sarcasm) keeping her destination from the other Slytherin's. It really wouldn't go over well that she was going to stay with Sirius, well known godfather and guardian of Harry Potter. No, she preferred not to fear for her life inside her own house.

After dropping into her room to grab her trunk Kat said goodbye to all her friends, giving them all hugs, before heading off to the train. Her goodbye to Draco had been a bit strained; she couldn't act like she didn't know his feelings and he didn't know what was wrong with her. But in the end she made it to the train in one piece and settled into one of the cabins. For a while she was alone but as the train started moving Hermione and Ron quickly ducked in.

"Hey guys," she said, smiling. She'd really missed them.

"Hey mate!" Ron said, lounging on his seat. "So you've survived a couple months as a snake. Cheers!"

"Ron," Hermione scolded but Kaitlin just laughed. Leave it to Ron.

"So catch me up on the latest Gryffindor gossip," she said eagerly, leaning forward. Instantly her ears were filled with talk of who was seeing who, who'd broken up with who, who was planning revenge on who and for what. It was like old times and she managed to forget all that had happened. Being a girl, joining Slytherin, and Draco. Especially Draco.

Upon reaching the station Kaitlin swept off the train, the epitome of Slytherin ego. She caught a glimpse of Remus but didn't dare acknowledge him. There were to many students around. Instead she calmly shed her robe, revealing upper class muggle clothes before stalking off the platform. It wasn't until she was there, in muggle London that she ran into trouble. Instantly she walked right into a person.

"I'm sorry," she said before her tongue got stuck in her mouth. She'd walked right into Kari. The older teen just smirked and nodded.

"Hey little sis," she greeted, her eyes flashing in warning. Knowing the game, Kat just smiled and nodded.

"Hello Kari. I wasn't expecting to see you here," she replied, a warning tone in her voice. Judging by the laughter in Kari's eyes it hadn't been missed.

"Oh I know but I wanted to surprise you," she chuckled before jerking her head towards the exit. "Come on. We're going to be late."

Panicking, Kat looked around frantically. She saw Ron and Hermione with Remus and they were all looking at her worriedly. However, she also saw a bunch of Slytherin's standing around. If she called for help then her cover would be blown. Curse Kari!

"Alright then," she said tensely, mentally going through all the stunning spells she knew. The problem was she didn't know what Kari was yet. Until she knew that it would be pointless to try and attack her.

Outside the station Kari pointed out a car. "That's the one," she said lazily. "You go on ahead. I've still got some work to do. I'll see you later." Kat hoped the girl would walk off but it was not to be so instead she went for the car. Angrily, she slid into the back seat and slammed the door shut, glaring as the older girl just smirked and left. The car started up and pulled out, the ravens till fuming when suddenly the driver spoke.

"Something wrong little Prongs?"

"Sirius!" Kat cried, spinning around. Sure enough it was Sirius's face in the rearview mirror as he smiled at her. "Oh my god, Sirius! How did you get here? I thought Kari-"

"Yeah, about her," Sirius interrupted. "How the hell do you know her? She just randomly showed up in the house one day, a couple weeks back. Told us she knew who you were, didn't care, and set this whole thing up so that we could get you. I want to know how she got in the house. Even Kreacher wasn't aware of her."

"She's…special," Kat said lamely, leaning forward so that she could talk to him easier. "I'm not really sure who or what she is. I met her on the trip to Diagon Alley right before school and she's been helping with my cover story ever since. Can we talk about something else?" She didn't feel like mentioning that Kari wasn't human.

By the time they reached Grimmauld place the two were laughing. There was no way anyone could pick Kat out as a Slytherin now. All her masks were shed and she loved it. This was what true freedom was like and she wanted it so bad.

At the house they found the others waiting for them and they all spent the next few hours catching up with each other. For some reason Kat was reluctant to share any Slytherin secrets or gossip. Merlin help her, she really was becoming a Slytherin! Still, her quiet was hardly noticed over all the chatter and she was able to listen in peace.

After dinner the five parted ways, each going to their own room. Just as Kat was snuggling under her blankets she heard a tap on the window. Surprised, she looked up to see an eagle owl perched on the ledge. It looked a bit impatient so she quickly got up and opened the window for him. After retrieving the letter from his leg the owl flew off, leaving her alone. Wondering at his strange behavior, Kaitlin returned to her bed before opening the letter.

_Dear Kaitlin,_

_I hope this letter reaches you safely. I'm sure I don't need to tell you how much danger you are in from Voldermort but there is something I'm equally sure you are not aware of. Recently, Voldermort has been receiving aid from a group you've never met. Witches and wizards from the future. I know you're scoffing right about now so I'll give you proof. Namely, Kari. Ask her directly where she is from and you'll see I'm right. You must be careful Kaitlin. These witches and wizards know everything that has happened and will be ready for you. Make your decisions with care._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Your future husband_

Kaitlin blinked in surprise, staring at the letter. Could it all be a prank? Sure, it explained a lot, like how Kari knew her, but still. Witches and wizards from the future. Was that even possible?

"Yes, though rare."

Yelping, Kat looked up to see Kari in her window, her leg hanging over the ledge. It took all of her power to keep herself from screaming at the girl. Instead she glared and hissed hotly, "Is it possible for you to show up without scaring me?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Kari bit back, an unlit cigarette in her teeth. "You're so funny when you yelp. Now what's with the owl you just got? I haven't seen the old bird in ages." Remembering the letter, Kat decided to give it a try.

"Where are you from?" she asked, enjoying it a bit to much when Kari flinched. For a moment she knew the older girl was going to lie before she sighed in defeat.

"Godric Hollow," she said dully, looking out the window. "About twenty years from now."

Kat stared in shock. She hadn't just said that, had she? Merlin, she had. She had to be lying though. It just wasn't possible for her to be from the future. Although…honestly…could it be?

"Ignore it for now," Kari said suddenly, getting to her feet. "Focus on school and Draco for now. Voldermort is still a ways off. And don't worry; I'll help if you have to deal with anyone else from my time."

"But they'll know," Kaitlin suddenly argued. Dear god, they'd know she was female. They'd spread the word and she'd be hunted down by everyone. Even Draco would know. Wait, why did that bother her?

"No they won't," Kari said easily, her eyes on the moon. "Don't you dare try and hex me but that part was my fault. I went back and helped James create the potion, knowing Sirius would use it against you after the dye prank. From that prank on things have been different. Different enough to throw those others off for now." And with that she leapt out the window and into the night. Reluctantly, Kat lay down and tried to sleep. When sleep proved elusive she rose and got her word journal. Maybe it would help.

_Healing_

"What does healing have to do with anything?" she griped. All the other words had dealt with things happening to her just then. Where did healing come from?

_You aren't as broken as you once were,_ Zareb said suddenly, lifting his head drowsily. _Even I who have only known you for a short time can see that. The pup too._ Lupus grunted sleepily, a single eye open. Thinking about it, she realized they were right. Maybe it was being in Slytherin, maybe it was the Ra'Shel, maybe Kari, or maybe something else, but it felt like her very soul was getting stronger.

_I'm letting myself HEAL,_ she wrote. Zareb actually looked at the book with her, waiting for it's reply.

**Healing** yourself is connected with healing others. -Unknown

_That's either very good or very bad,_ Zareb said through a yawn before lying back down to sleep. Silently agreeing, Kat closed the book and put it away. Sleep was finally closing in around her once more and she drifted off. She never noticed when Kari came back to keep watch over her once more.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Okay, most of you figured it out. Yes, the song in the last chapter was 'Listen with your heart' from Pocahontas and it was in German. Good job to you all. Maybe I'll do a harder one later on. On to the reviews!_

_Karone-sakura: Glad you figured it out. And I'm glad you liked the chapter._

_Trexie: Yeah, first date anxiety is so much fun! As long as it's not happening to you at least. Then it totally sucks._

_SunshineAndDaisies: You are actually the only one to remember poor Pansy. Kudos to you!_

_AprilMarlene: I speak German a little bit. I took German last year but the stupid computer program malfunctioned so I never finished it. By the way, I thought I lost you by the arranged marriage that you said was stupid. Why'd you come back?_

_Godwolf Fenrir: Hey, don't blame me for the spelling. I just copied what my translator showed. Glad you liked the chapter!_

_Drarry-hell-yes: Yep, it's German._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	13. I is for Imagine

Cautiously, Kaitlin peeked around the corner of the hall. All was still and quiet so she slowly snuck down it. Her eyes were constantly moving, trying to catch every shadow and flicker of movement. Merlin, how did Moody do this whole 'constant vigilance' thing? It was giving her an outright headache. Reaching the stairs, she paused and scanned the area before moving down them. Taking special care to avoid the steps that creaked she finally reached the bottom. Just about to move out again she caught a flicker of movement and jerked back. Footsteps came her way, making her panic. Frantically, she looked around for a hiding place, finally ducking behind some curtains and perching on the window ledge so her feet could not be seen. Slowly the footsteps approached, reached her…and moved on. Sighing in relief, she waited a moment to be sure they were gone before crawling out of her hiding place and dashing down the hall.

Finally reaching the kitchen place she noticed Kreacher hard at work and smiled. "Hello Kreacher," she greeted the elf who smiled back.

"Mister Potter," the ancient elf replied. For some reason he refused to call her 'Mistress' of 'Miss' but it suited Kaitlin just fine. After all, it reminded her that her life as a boy had not been a dream. More and more it had felt like it. She'd only been a girl for a few months but it already seemed like it had been forever. Really, she'd almost forgotten how to be a male. And she was hating it.

Seeing Ron and Hermione, Kaitlin was just about to make her way over when an explosion followed by a scream of horror and rage rocked the house. Her friends and Remus stood with a shout while Kreacher just burst out laughing like the madman they had all accused him of being. Kaitlin stumbled a bit before managing to make her expression perfectly neutral in surprise. Of course, her control was sorely tempted when Sirius appeared. His hair was silver but his face was Slytherin green. His robes were also in the colors of her house and he had a large, moving snake hat on his head. Furious, his raging eyes fell upon Kaitlin as she tried to cover her smirk.

"Harry James Potter!" Sirius bellowed, tackling the girl. Yelping, Kat spun around and ran for it, slamming the kitchen door shut to buy some time. She heard the door splinter just as she reached the main hallway. Not really thinking, she dashed out the front door before running down the street. She could still hear her godfather's roar so she kept running. In fact, by the time she'd managed to get to town he was still hot on her heels. Merlin, how did he get so fast?

Just then she ran full force into someone. Stumbling back she managed to stay on her feet and was instantly apologizing when her mouth froze. Standing above her, looking slightly annoyed was none other then Narcissa Malfoy. Inwardly, Kat gulped. Not good, this was certainly not good.

"I am so, so sorry Mistress Malfoy," she gushed, wondering how she was going to get out of this one. Sirius was still roaring for her so she'd have to think fast.

"I should think so Miss…" Narcissa said dryly, her voice trailing off.

"Kaitlin LeNair, Mistress Malfoy," Kat introduced herself. Instantly Narcissa's eyes lit up in recognition. Apparently Draco had told his mother about her. Great. Just great. Thanks a lot Malfoy.

Just then Sirius showed up, slamming on his brakes. His glare instantly flew from Kaitlin to Narcissa who glared back just as violently.

"Malfoy," he said stiffly, nodding his head.

"Black," she replied just as formally though her disgust was not hidden at all. "And just what are you bellowing about now?"

"Looking for Harry," the animungus growled, not daring to look at his goddaughter. No way in hell was he going to spill her secret. He wasn't that mad.

"So Harry Potter did that to you," Narcissa drawled, a smirk tucked into the corners of her mouth. "I like the boy's style, I must admit. As you can see, he is not here, so I suggest you leave before a muggle sees you."

Silently, Sirius obeyed, fighting the urge to pull Kaitlin to safety. As much as he hated to admit it, she was probably safe with his sister. After all, she got rather protective of family and since Kat was engaged to Draco she was virtually family already.

Watching Sirius walk off Kat wanted so badly to chase after him. Yes, he was pissed off at her prank but it had to be better then being with Mrs. Malfoy. But, to her surprise, when she looked back to the older lady she saw true kindness in those light blue eyes.

"Are you alright?" Narcissa asked, a little worried. Her brother could be a truly terrifying sight at the best of times. That outfit had made even her a little wary. Of course, she had to find a way to thank Potter, as much as she hated to admit it. After all, she was a true sister, always looking for embarrassing and mortifying moments that she could remind her siblings of at all times and she'd just gotten the best one ever. Oh, she was never going to let Sirius forget this. And it was all thanks to Potter. Hmm…scary thought."I'm fine," Kaitlin assured her, suddenly much more at ease. Draco apparently wasn't around so that was one worry crossed off her list. Lucius also wasn't anywhere in sight. Another one crossed off. But she was still there so she couldn't totally relax.

"I'm glad to finally meet you," Narcissa said suddenly, surprised by the sincerity of her words. "Draco has spoken of you often and I was looking forward to being introduced to you." She saw the girl droop and was instantly on the alert. "Is something wrong dear?"

"Just can't believe Draco wrote you," Kaitlin nearly whined but managed to stop herself. Female she may now be but she did not whine! No, Hermione and Ginny did enough of that for the rest of his life. "After all, he's doing everything humanly possible to get out of this thing."

"And you aren't?" Narcissa asked but it wasn't really much of a question so she was unsurprised when Kaitlin shook her head.

"I'm not really happy about it but…I think it could work, you know? I mean, he's not as much of a git as I thought he was. Actually, he can be rather sweet." Instantly her hand went to where the flute was strapped to her arm. She carried it everywhere, both to summon Lupus and to just enjoy the sound of it. "Still, it feels so strange to put in the effort when I know he's not." Suddenly feeling both brave and insecure at the same time she looked up into the Malfoy matron's eyes. "Is spending a future with me really so horrible?"

"I don't think it would be," Narcissa said instantly. Already her mind was swirling with the lecture she'd be giving her son. "I think any man would be lucky to have you for a wife and I apologize that you got stuck with a git like my son. He must get it from his father for he certainly never got it from me." Chuckling, Kat had to nod in agreement. "Now that that is settled, do you wish to accompany me? I was just about to go get Draco a gift." Eagerly, Kat nodded and followed the female Malfoy. While she was now feeling a bit uncertain about the heir to Malfoy she was positive she liked his mother.

-{-

"Draco really likes these?" Kat asked in surprise as Narcissa looked over, of all things, earrings.

"Oh yes," the Malfoy matron said, concentrating at the task on hand. "His right ear is pierced and he has a whole collection of earrings that he wears. Of course, he also wears a glamour to keep them hidden. Something about not broadcasting his preferences to the world."

"Oh, you mean all that rot about being gay if your right ear is pierced," Kat scoffed. "That is such a muggle belief. Besides, it's also horribly outdated." Then a horrible thought occurred to her. "Umm…is he gay?" Laughing, Narcissa just shook her head as she pointed out the one she wanted to the clerk.

"Not at all," she assured the startled girl. "He just decided that the earrings looked better in his right ear then in his left one. However, most witches and wizards still believe in that old code so he hides it. That's all."

Sighing in relief, Kaitlin looked around the shop. There were so many pieces of jewelry and they were all so beautiful. The best part was, not all of them were gaudy. Some were rather simple and humble. Those were the ones she loved. Suddenly realizing that Narcissa was still looking at the earrings Kat tilted her head in confusion. "Something wrong?" she asked, making the older lady jump.

"Not really," was the reply. "Just wondering if Harry Potter has a pierced ear. I really must thank the boy for doing that to Sirius. As a sister it's the perfect ammunition." Shuddering, Kat sent up a quick prayer that Sirius would forgive her eventually.

"Actually, he does," she said, thinking of her left ear. "I saw it in one of those dratted photos of him in the paper."

"Excellent" Narcissa said happily, pointing out another earring. Seeing it, Kat just had to smile. It was a small hoop earring that was actually a snake. Just what she needed.

Gathering up the two gifts both women left the story rather content. Seeing how low the sun was Kat was just about to excuse herself when she saw a river. As always, the sight of water instantly drew her in, Narcissa following in amusement. On the bank of the river Kaitlin transfigured a rock into a bench where she sat and watched the water. She didn't even notice when Narcissa sat beside her. Instead she just stared at the water for a moment before pulling out her word journal.

_Imagine_

Thinking for a moment, Kat finally pulled out a muggle pen and wrote, _I'm beginning to IMAGINE what my life could grow to be._ Putting the pen away she waited, hearing only the gurgle of the water, for the reply.

Can you **imagine** what I would do if I could do all I can? -Sun Tzu

"Well that's a confusing quote," Kat muttered before suddenly remembering that she wasn't alone. Yelping, she jumped up only to see a thoroughly amused Narcissa sitting beside her. Instantly she started bowing and babbling apologies, promptly blushing as the older women started laughing in good humor. Still, she couldn't help a small smile on her face. Today had been awesome.

{Meanwhile, back at Grimmauld Place}

Sobbing, Sirius was sprawled out on the couch, Remus sitting beside him.

"She's never going to let me forget this!" the animungus bawled, acting like a little kid. Absently, Remus patted him on the head.

"I'm sure you're right," he said before wincing. Why had Sirius just gotten louder?

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: This is officially my favorite story as far as all you readers are concerned. It now holds the records for favorites and alerts. It's also holds the record for my lowest average ratings per chapter. Guys, there is something wrong with this picture. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Yep, future twist. Hey, I felt like being random. At least that explains Kari a little bit though, right?_

_AprilMarlene: Okay then. So I can assume you won't be staying around?_

_SunshineAndDaisies: It was a shock to me and I'm the writer! Lol, I knew there was something strange about her._

_RosesAreForever23: Yep, it's German. And thank you, I will try and stay at this level of goodness or even surpass it. But please, don't call me dear. I'm only called dear when I'm in trouble._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	14. J is for Jokes

Kaitlin nearly yelled with joy as she fell onto her bed in the dorms. She had missed this place so much! Yes, it was dank and dark and got rather chilly but it was home now. Reluctantly she admitted that she made a better snake then she had been a lion. Of course, she was also ecstatic to see Pansy again. The other girl had written her often, though obviously not knowing where she was. Ron and Hermione had actually enjoyed seeing Kat perk up every time Pansy's owl had arrived. Which, of course, had been rather frequent. Like, every other day or so.

About to go down to the common room Kaitlin was surprised when the door opened. Instantly her surprise was changed to pleasure when she saw who it was. The whole court came in and settled on the beds, greeting her and each other. Instantly Pansy launched into an account of her week and Kat realized that this was apparently tradition. A fact confirmed to her buy Draco's whisper, "Happens after every break." One by one they each shared with the exception of Kaitlin. She bowed out, saying it was a secret, and then threatened to hex them when they wouldn't drop it.

Finally all the sharing was done and they all got drinks provided by Blaise. The second she sipped hers Kaitlin knew something was off. She instantly turned to curse the boy when she felt a familiar tingle in her stomach made her eyes widen in shock and terror. She hiccupped and turned into, you guessed it, Harry Potter. Instantly all the snakes around started howling in laughter, none noticing the look of pain on her, his face.

"Excellent work Blaise," Draco congratulated, slapping the Italian on the back. Vincent and Greg were to busy cracking up to speak but Pansy just smirked.

"Like our welcome?" she asked only to finally notice that pain and horror on the boy's face. Instantly she was worried. Had they gone too far? "Hey, it's okay. It only lasts for a few hours anyway. Draco found the recipe in an old potions book and decided to make it. It's sort of like Polyjuice so you'll be fine." Her mouth snapped shut as Kaitlin finally met her gaze, those green eyes snapping in something beyond fury. Slowly, Kaitlin, no, Harry, stood up and walked over to the boys. Next thing he knew Draco was on the ground, his hand clutching his eye and his mind telling him that he'd just been punched. Shocked, he stared up into those deadly green eyes and finally thought that they may have made a mistake.

"You ferret faced, bloody wanker, piece of shite git!" Harry growled, fury raging through him. "If any of you are planning on living very long you will not let me see you again." That said, he spun on his heels and stalked out of the room. In the common room everyone laughed at the sight of him, telling him that the prank was common knowledge. They all quit laughing when ever piece of furniture exploded and the torches flared up dangerously, roaring the boy's anger. He paid the Slytherin's no more mind as he left through the portrait.

Suddenly realizing he couldn't just stalk around since he was supposed to be off getting special training, Harry instead made his way to the Room of Requirement. Almost to his goal he ran into Professor Snape. Instantly the man sneered and Harry growled back.

"Mr. Potter," Snape drawled. He was cut off by the boy's derisive laugh.

"Kaitlin LeNair, actually," he said. "You have your godson to thank for this. Now get out of my way before I decide to take my anger out on you instead." Knowing it wasn't an empty threat, Snape moved aside, letting the seething boy, girl, whatever, stalk past him. Instantly his thoughts flew to his godson and he debated whether or not to curse the boy for his foolishness or try to hide him from his fiancé's obvious wrath. Hmm, decisions, decisions.

Reaching the Room, Harry nearly just broke the wall down to enter but managed to retrain himself until the door appeared. He, of course, went right in, slamming the door behind him. He found himself in a large glade, trees, rocks, and a river all around him. Perfect. He wouldn't feel bad about destroying any of that.

Hours later Harry finally sat down, looking around at the totally destroyed forest. There was nothing left standing and even the river had begun to look disturbingly like blood. He himself was smudged and bruised and bloody but that didn't matter. Already he could feel the potion fading and wept. He finally had it back, his manhood, and he couldn't keep it. It was dangled before his nose like a carrot and then yanked away. Curse all those Slytherin's to hell for this!

Abruptly hiccupping, Harry found he was Kaitlin once more. Instantly the hormones raced through her and she burst out sobbing. She cried got a good few hours, not even caring that it was far past curfew. All she could focus on was her utter rage and hatred for all Slytherin's. If she got her hands on them they would wish they were facing Voldermort! Every single one of them; even the ones who were innocent.

The hours ticked by and gradually the Room changed into a smaller version of the Gryffindor common room. Tiredly, Kaitlin curled up on one of the sofa's crying herself to sleep.

The next day she stayed within the Room. Even missing all three meals didn't affect her. Merlin knows, she was used to it after the Dursely's. She could hear everything outside the room, having asked the Room for that ability. The whole day she lay on the couch, curled up, listening to the happy and chatting students move by, unaware that she was there. At a couple points she heard a Slytherin she knew and tensed in anger until they left. Around dinnertime she was about to relax when she heard yet another familiar voice.

"You sure she's here boy?" Pansy asked, knocking against the wall. Lupus just whined and pawed the wall anxiously. He'd been miserable since his master had disappeared and was nearly panicking now, knowing she was close and not being able to reach her. Suddenly a door appeared and a tired and dirty Kaitlin opened it, her eyes dull and lifeless. Instantly Lupus launched himself at her and she caught him clumsily. Slowly, she looked at Pansy and nodded, no life in her eyes.

"Thanks for bringing him," she said, about to turn around. She froze when a hand grabbed her shoulder.

"For what it's worse, we're sorry," Pansy said. "We didn't mean to embarrass you so much. It just seemed like a fun prank. Don't know why it bothered you so much. I guess we just didn't think about it that much."

"That's right," Kat spat, turning back around, her eyes finally full of rage. "You didn't think. How do you think it felt, Parkinson? How would you like it if people you liked and trusted snuck you a potion that turned you into a guy? Not even a guy that you know they all hate more then anything, just a guy. Hmm? Did any of you stop and consider what you were doing to me? Let me tell you, it's not exactly pleasant going from one gender to another. Everything gets thrown so far out of balance I either expected to level the whole castle or flood it with my tears. I haven't even gotten to the part about being humiliated before every single sodden member of Slytherin. Tell me, do you really think a simple sorry is going to fix this? Cause if so you better join Luna in the crazy department!"

About to scream, Kaitlin slammed the door shut before falling against it. After a moment she heard Pansy slowly walk away and burst out sobbing once more. Lupus just cuddled with her while the otter chirped soothingly. They didn't move for the rest of the night.

The next day Kaitlin finally left the Room. She went straight to her first class which was double potions. Seeing a couple Slytherin's already she openly spurned them and instead sat beside Hermione. The bushy haired girl clearly didn't know what had happened but made no comment. Ron just simply kissed her goodbye before joining Neville.

It was like that for the rest of her classes. No matter what they were she refused to sit with her house, instead sitting with the other houses. In the few where she didn't have Ron or Hermione, she sat alone. A few times various Slytherin's would try to approach her only to be warned off by her glare. She even managed to get Draco to shiver in fear when she leveled it at him. By the end of the day all Slytherin's knew to give her a wide berth.

This continued for a few days. Kat never went to meals. Instead Dobby, having realized who she was, brought her food wherever she was. It was his silent way of supporting her decision. Lupus and Zareb also supported her, even going so far as to snap at some of the denser Slytherin's. In the end it was, surprisingly, Ron who moved to end the whole thing. He knew where Kat had been staying since it was common knowledge she no longer went to the Slytherin dorms. So, after a whole week of the drama, he went to the Room and waited for her to let him in. As soon as he was there he glared at her.

"Enough Harry," he said, the male name making her perk up in surprise. "I get it; you're pissed off. You have every right to be mate. It was a cruel and offensive prank. Normally I'd be supporting this little rebellion of yours full force. But it's obviously not making you happy and all I want is your happiness. That won't happen till you move on so move on already! Besides," he muttered the last part. "I'm tired of watching Malfoy act like an Inferi."

Kat just sat quietly, not looking at her friend. When she made no move to respond Ron felt his heart sink. He and Hermione had been worried about this. Kaitlin had only just started really accepting she was a girl now. After this whole event that peace may very well of shattered. It left her in a rather volatile mess and he was regretting stirring that up.

So he was pleasantly surprised when all she did was nod and stand up. With a short whistle she had Lupus by her side and, with a quiet, "Goodbye Ron," she left.

Nervous, Kaitlin walked down to the Slytherin portrait. She wasn't sure what sort of reception she would get and was honestly still mad at everyone. Still, she knew Ron was right and she would have to start moving on. After all, though she was loathe to remember it, her wedding was in three weeks. So, with shoulders squared, she spoke the password and entered the snake pit once more.

Everyone fell silent at the sight of her. Draco and the court were in their normal places and they all had a look of hope on their faces at her presence. Pansy was the first to see the rage and wilted, knowing things still weren't good.

"I don't forgive you," Kaitlin said, making the silence heavier. "Any of you. I've only returned to try and resume my life. Do not make the mistake that things are back to the way they were." With that said she stalked across the commons and up the stairs to her room. Once there she quickly changed before jumping into her bed with Lupus and closing the curtains. With a quick spell she'd learned from Hermione, she locked the curtains in place before settling back. Seeing her word journal on her pillow she grabbed it and opened it.

_Jokes_

_I've learned to fear all JOKES,_ she wrote bitterly, her quill stabbing the page. The answer literally bled in slowly.

A **joke** is a very serious thing. -Winston Churchill

"Very true," she said with approval before putting the book back. Realizing the time, she curled up on herself and fell asleep, oblivious to the tears she cried in her sleep. Only Lupus saw them, just as he had every night since they'd returned to the castle. He was really starting to hate the place.

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_Babble time: It's 93* here and my A/C is out so I'm outright miserable. Seems I'm taking it out on my characters considering both stories just got a depressing update. Oh well, on to the reviews._

_AprilMarlene: Alright then. Welcome back. Uh…haven't decided if Harry will go back to being a boy yet or not. I'll let you know when I decide._

_Trexie: Yeah, I can't picture her as the heartless bitch most people show her as. And yeah, I'm glad I managed to develop Draco a little bit more. To help me in the future, what exactly helped him out? Just so I know what to copy in the future. ;) Uh…I skipped that lecture but I'll include the next one which isn't to far off._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	15. K is for Kids

A crash echoed through the hallways followed instantly by a scream of rage. Lupus whined, trying to wedge himself farther in his corner. His master was angry and the pup didn't want to poke his nose out lest it be bit off. Even Zareb was hiding at that moment, fearful for his life. Both animals watched as Kaitlin continued to destroy the abandoned classroom they were in. Everything had been fine until that frizzy haired girl had told their master what was expected of an aristocratic wife. Most things Kaitlin had taken in stride; not happy but resigned. However, upon hearing that she'd need to produce an heir within the first year Potter had snapped. Merlin's beard, she was only five months a girl. She wasn't ready for kids! Besides the fact that she seriously didn't want kids with Malfoy.

Yes, the prat had gone back to being referred to by his surname. As had Parkinson and Blaise. Every Slytherin had, in fact, with two noticeable exceptions. Vincent and Greg were still just that. After all, they had been the only two to show true remorse for the prank. Every other house member only showed regret that she was angry with them. Not the actions they had taken.

Shaking, Kat finally let herself fall to the floor, exhausted. Her breathing was ragged as Lupus finally crawled over to her, whimpering. She had just enough strength to smile at him as he crawled in her lap.

_That was a rather interesting display,_ Zareb said dryly, slithering over to her. He noted her eye roll before sliding up her arm. _It was. I never thought you were so volatile. Last time you just holed up in that strange room and wouldn't talk to anyone. Of course, you were angrier then. I shudder to think what you would do if you were truly furious._

"Probably level the whole castle," she rasped with a wane smile. "At least, that would be my guess." Slowly she got back to her feet and walked to the door. By the time she stepped outside her gait was steady once more, her head high. After all, she was only two weeks away from her wedding. She had to maintain at least a minimum amount of pose and arrogance. As she went down the hall she realized just how many of the student body was glaring at her. Mostly the females, furious because she would be marrying their beloved Sex God. However, there were also boys who were glaring for some unknown reason. Not that she cared. She was used to the stares and glares after so many years as the Boy-Who-Lived.

About to reach the Slytherin common room Kaitlin saw Nott walking towards her. She nodded stiffly to him but rather then nod back he stopped, indicating he wanted to speak with her. Sighing, she slowed to a stop and let him speak.

"I'm not here to defend our prank," he said quietly. "Nor am I here to apologize. All I want to say is that I realize we were wrong. You have every right to be mad at us. However, should you ever forgive us; I am hoping that we could be friends."

Realizing just how much it had taken the proud boy to say those things, Kaitlin relented and smiled slightly. "Thank you," she said quietly. He merely nodded before moving on, leaving her alone. Feeling slightly better, Kaitlin finished her trip to the common room. Upon entering though she was shocked to find only one person. "Mistress Malfoy?"

"I believe I told you to call me Narcissa," the lady said with a smile as she stood up. "You may even call me Cissy if you wish. I realize my name is a bit of a mouthful. Come, sit with me. I've been worried about you." Quietly, Kaitlin obeyed. For the first time she was glad she'd forgotten to wear her snake earring that day. No sense letting the world know she was Harry Potter. Yet.

"Draco tells me you are upset with him," Cissy said seriously. Kaitlin just nodded stiffly. "May I ask why?" Reluctantly, the raven explained what had happened. In the end Narcissa was staring at the fire, her mouth a hard line. For a moment Kat thought the matron was mad at her and she braced herself for the lecture that was to come.

"I can't believe my son could be such an imbecile," Cissy finally hissed, startling Potter. "I don't blame you for being mad at all. It was a tasteless prank that I wouldn't even pull on my brother." Seeing Kaitlin's look of shock Narcissa smiled slightly. "What were you expecting child? For me to defend my son no matter what? I love him dearly but even I will admit when he is in the wrong as he is this time. Now, I feel as though there is something else bothering you."

"Yeah," Kaitlin admitted, her eyes downcast. "I was told that I'd have to produce an heir within a year of marriage. Narcissa, I don't want kids yet! I'm only seventeen. Must I really have them so soon."

"I'm afraid so," Narcissa said, pity in her eyes. "It is that way in every aristocratic family. Even some common families have that rule. However, all couples who go through Suchen are under that rule. It's just another way to ensure that the couple go through with it all."

"I don't understand," Kat said, truly confused. "What do you mean by those under Suchen going through with it all?"

"Suchen is much like the sorting hat," Cissy explained carefully. "It never puts together two people who won't eventually work together. Now, they may never love each other but eventually they would become a team. That's actually what happened to Lucius and me. Yes, we were also paired through Suchen. We never did fall in love but we respect each other highly and work together perfectly. I'm sure even you have noticed that. However, early on in the Suchen, when it was just starting, there were a lot of problems. Really, back then the couple were paired together with orders to marry soon. Most of the time the pairs were like you and Draco. Only barely knowing or tolerating each other. Because of that the couple would simply disregard it. This led to disasters in various forms. So the rule was created so that the people picked by the Suchen would marry that day. Thus the getting married at dinner thing. Rather stupid, no?" Kaitlin could only nod and agree.

"There were still problems though. The Suchen pairs would marry that day, yes, but after a few months or even years most would divorce. Obviously that meant that the problem wasn't solved. Things were still going wrong but the Ministry couldn't work an anti-divorce clause into the wedding. Too many families protested and it would have led to civil war. So a new solution was found. The wedding vows will tie the pair together for a year and then they must produce a child within that year. Most people were unwilling to part with their children so this solution ended up doing the most good. The pairs remained together for the sake of the children and grew to work together."

"You and Mister Malfoy were that way, weren't you?" Kat asked, more relaxed. Now that someone had described the stupid ritual she felt a bit better about it.

"Yes," Narcissa said with a fond smile. "Oh, when the wedding to place we were all for ending it. He was a bit of a prat then and I already had a fiancée but what could we do? The announcement caught us off guard and we had no time to fight it, which is rather the point. Then Draco came along and though we both had more then enough money to raise a child alone we weren't cruel enough to rob the other of their child so we stayed together. You see the results of course. As I said, Lucius and I never fell in love but we can't imagine our lives any other way now."

"I guess Malfoy and I are rather stupid then to get so much time," Kat sighed, looking into the fire sadly. Cissy didn't miss the use of her son's surname and frowned slightly. It seemed he had really upset the poor girl. That wouldn't do at all. He was supposed to be a gentleman, not a crass commoner. Oh the lecture she would be giving him. Maybe she could even loop Lucius into it.

Just then Lupus decided he'd been patient enough and gave a quiet yip. Surprised, Cissy look down at the pup and her eyes widened. "What in Circe's name is that?" Frowning, Kaitlin scooped up her pet.

"A wolf pup?" she asked, slightly sarcastic.

"Not a full wolf," Narcissa said, leaning forward a bit but still keeping a distance. "That, dear one, is a Dire Wolf." She saw the confused look on the younger's face and explained. "Dire wolves are, or rather were, an extinct breed of wolves that lived in North America. On average they grew to five feet long and about one hundred seventy-five pounds. They are, of course, different from other wolves. Their legs are shorter, then heads larger, and their brains smaller." Lupus growled at her. "Although they are also apparently smarter. How did you find this exquisite beast?" Lupus snorted in indignation, actually wrinkling up his nose, making Kat laugh.

"I don't think he likes being called a beast," she chuckled to a shocked Narcissa. "His name is Lupus. As for where he is from, that is something you must ask your son. Lupus was actually a present from him."

Realizing her mistake, Narcissa gave a tiny bow. "Forgive me Lupus. You are not a beast and it was wrong to call you such." The puppy glared a moment more before nodding jerkily, instantly going back to happy puppy mode. Both women laughed at that and spent a few minutes cooing over the wolf before Kaitlin suddenly stiffened. Surprised, Cissy turned around to see her son had just come in. Spotting the two of them Draco's face lit up and he walked forward only to have Kaitlin shoot to her feet.

"If that is all Mrs. Malfoy," she said stiffly, glaring at Malfoy before stalking up the stairs to her room. She only barely heard the beginnings of a lecture from Narcissa to Malfoy when she slammed her door shut. Luckily she was alone and allowed to fall on her bed, exhausted and irritated. She didn't really want to continue her grudge against the rest of that house but couldn't seem to forgive that one blonde prat. She was still as furious now as she was before. Glaring, she turned to her word journal and tried to ignite it with her gaze. No such luck obviously and she was forced to sigh and turn away. She already knew what would be in it; words from the night before. Words that she hadn't realized would be so important to her.

_Kids_

_I am faced with KIDS,_ she had written, thinking of the immaturity all around her. And from her herself, if she was honest.

**Kids** seldom misquote; in fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. Unknown

An interesting quote but pointless then. Not so pointless now and she hated it. Grumbling, she rolled back out of bed to grab a textbook for study. She curled up on the bed, Lupus at her feet and Zareb draped around her neck, wondering what the next day would bring.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Eh…it's okay I guess. Not very easy to write for some reason. Ah well. My A/C is fixed now so things should start getting better. Also, sorry I didn't get this up yesterday. I got Shark Week on DVD and have been totally engrossed in it for a few days now. Sort of forgot everything else. Anyway, on to the reviews!_

_Trexie: No, Harry and potions just don't mix well together. Ah, that's what helped. Thanks! Lol, I love Lupus too. More so now._

_SunshineAndDaisies: I'm glad you approve of it._

_RosesAreForever23: Lol, yes, I thought that would be something Severus would think. Lupus is starting to hate the school because the people in it are making his master sad. He's a full wolf but much smarter then most._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	16. L is for Life

_A/N: I'm so sorry! Totally missed this chapter and uploaded a different one. My bad!_

Pulling her pillow over her head, Kaitlin tried to go back to sleep. She'd woken with the very unpleasant thought that her wedding was only a week away. True, over the past week she'd tried to work things out with Malfoy. It had been slow going but eventually she'd managed to forgive him for the prank. She'd almost been able to hear the sigh of relief from the rest of the snakes when she'd made the announcement. Merlin, was she that terrifying?

Pansy had been trying to cheer the girl up for the past few days. Even though Narcissa's words had helped she was still reluctant to marry the prat. In fact, her reluctance was so great she was falling into what muggles called depression. She wondered for a moment if the magical world even knew what depression was. She'd never seen a depression ward in the hospital, never heard of anti-depression potions. Maybe that was something she should look into. Not that it really mattered just then.

Sighing, Kat reluctantly got up. It was Saturday and she had work to do in the library. Besides, Ron and Hermione would be there and she needed them. The two managed to make her feel better, even if for only a short time. So, nudging Lupus to wake him, Kat got up and quickly took a shower before getting dressed. Stopping only long enough to grab her bag and letting Zareb settle around her neck as a choker, she went downstairs. About to enter the common room she froze at the sound of Malfoy's voice.

"Every string I've pulled has broke," Malfoy complained. "If there is a way out of this Suchen then no one's talking about it. I may actually have to go through with the whole cursed thing."

"Dray," Blaise said, "is it really the Suchen you're fighting against? I mean, yeah, it sucks being forced to marry someone but you were facing an arranged marriage anyway. Not to be rude but I can't help but think that maybe this is all about Kaitlin."

"Partly," Malfoy admitted with a sigh, making Kat gasp. "Don't get me wrong. She pretty and smart and funny. She'd make any man proud. But, really, I could never marry her. She's far too independent. I doubt she'd ever make a good wife. Always doing what she wanted even without my approval. Being stubborn in her decisions. Making me explain why I did stuff. That isn't a wife I want."

"Is it a wife you want, or a slave?" Pansy snapped. "Damn Draco, I thought you were better then that. That sort of thinking died with our grandparents. She's a living person and entitled to living her own life. Just because she'd marry you don't mean you have the right to rule her life and future."

"Think what you will," Malfoy said flatly, obviously not listening. "I'll just marry her for the year and then divorce her. I don't care how many children she has, I won't keep her. If she wants them she can take them. If not, I'm sure there are those who'd adopt them."

"You wouldn't keep them?" Blaise squawked. "Why the hell not?"

"What would I want with children I didn't love?"

Hearing enough, Kaitlin burst into sobs, bolting through the common room. She had one brief second where she saw a blurry looking Malfoy before she was out of the portrait and running down the halls. Her reaction had been sudden enough that Lupus hadn't had time to follow her and she ripped Zareb off her throat, throwing him to the floor. Just then she couldn't stand anything that reminded her of Malfoy. Other students and teachers jumped out of her way as she flew past. Those that didn't got run over by her. When Professor Snape caught sight of the girl his first thought was that he was going to kill his godson. Obviously he'd done something to upset her again. The question was, what?

Bursting out the front doors, Kaitlin kept running. The tears blinded her, keeping her from seeing where she was going, but she just ran on. Her ears were ringing with Malfoy's words so she didn't hear Hagrid calling out to her. It wasn't until she quite suddenly was wet and cold that she realized she'd run straight into the lake. For a moment instinct told her to swim for the surface but then she paused. Should she really? Wouldn't it be better to just end it all here?

Realizing what she wanted, she kicked for the surface and crawled out. She wanted to die, yes, but she didn't want to drown. No, the lake of Hogwarts was not where she wanted to die. This place had too many good memories for her to end her life there. But there was another place. A place that held nothing but bad memories. Not the Dursely's for even that place had the good memories of reading her friend's letters. Not Grimmauld Place for that held the memories of her and Sirius pranking and laughing. There was only one place with nothing but bad memories; the perfect place to die.

Frantic, Kaitlin leapt to her feet and ran for the barriers. If she could get out of them she could apparate. True, she had no license, but she knew she could do it. Sirius had taught her how in secret. As soon as she passed the words she turned, her mind clearly focused on where she wanted to go. With a crack she vanished from Hogwarts…

…to appear with another crack at Godric Cottage.

For a moment she paused, taking the house in. She'd heard it was under a preservation charm so that it looked just as it did after the attack. In fact she could still see the burn and blast marks from where she stood. Closing her eyes she could again hear her mother scream and her father shout. There was no doubt in her mind that at one time the house had held happy memories but they'd all been wiped away by that one night. Still, this was where she was born and this was where she would die.

Silently, she walked through the door. Her eyes were dull as she took in the destruction of the place. Everything was blasted, slashed, or burned. What stood out the most to her was a splash of blood. Seeing everything around it she could only assume that was where her father had fallen. Remus had once mentioned that the body had struck the table and bled. She'd just never heard it anywhere else. Moving like she was in a dream, she looked at the rest of the lower level. To her amazement, nothing else was destroyed. Everything else was in perfect condition. It seemed Voldermort really had come for the sole purpose of killing them all.

With heavy steps and a heavy heart she walked up the stairs and went to her old room. It was still a nursery and she smiled sadly at the sight. She bed Dudley had never had this nice a room. To bad she couldn't really remember it. Slowly, she walked over to the cradle before sinking down beside it. Her eyes closed as her mind looked back. It all felt right. She'd been right here when her mother had died and Voldermort was pointing his wand at her. She'd been in this exact spot as she'd smiled, thinking it was all a game. Picking her wand up, she held the tip at her throat and swallowed. This was it.

"_Avada-"_

"HARRY!"

Kat's eyes sprung open as she was tackled. Her eyes flew to her godfather's furious and terrified ones. Before he could say a word everything snapped together in her mind. Merlin, she'd been about to-

Sobbing, the teen buried her face in her godfather's neck and held him. He just held her tighter, hearing Remus move behind him. For a second he thanked Circe that Hermione had instantly sent her fast Patronus to the two of them and told them about Kaitlin. It had been Moony who had felt the girl's sudden suicidal decision and had led them here. Reluctantly he had to admit that if Kaitlin was going to commit suicide, this was the place to do it. That didn't mean he wasn't going to scream at the girl once she was stable again.

The sobs finally faded and Sirius realized his goddaughter had fallen asleep. Tenderly, he picked her up and, with Remus, apparated back to Hogwarts. Finding a safe place in the forest, they lay her there before Sirius changed to Padfoot and went to lure Hagrid over to them. Remus stayed by the girl's side, watching her breathing. They'd come close to losing her this time and if he ever found out that the Malfoy brat had been the cause he was going to make that family heirless!

-{-

Slowly, Kaitlin returned to the living. She fought it hard, preferring the simple and safe world of dreams, but in the end surrendered. It wasn't her time and she had to accept that. Not like it but accept it. Slowly opening her eyes she was instantly met with the furious gaze of her pup and snake.

"Oops," she rasped, alerting the other's to her state of awakeness.

"How are you feeling, Kat?" Pansy asked, gently squeezing her friend's hand. She couldn't believe Malfoy had said those things and was furious at him for driving Kaitlin so far. Oh, that blonde prat had better hope she never saw him again! When she'd heard Kat had actually tried to kill herself she'd nearly hexed Malfoy then and there!

"We were worried," Blaise said softly, not wanting to upset the girl on the bed. As it was she seemed a bit disoriented and it took a moment before she looked at him. Upon doing so she realized just how many Slytherin's were around her bed. Surprised, she managed to arch a brow.

"What's this?" she asked, her voice rough. It was Greg who answered.

"Like Blaise said, we were worried," he told her with a smile. "After all, our friend was hurting."

"I thought Malfoy was your friend," she retorted with a frown. Was this making sense and she just was to out of it to know that?

"Not right now he's not," Theodore said with a snort of anger. "I can't believe he said those things about you. Really, he's lucky he's not in here himself considering how many of us want to hex him."

"I heard he got worse," Vincent said smugly, making them all look at him. "Millicent told me that Professor Snape came and took Malfoy to his parents. I can only imagine what they're doing to him. Especially since Mrs. Malfoy is so besotted with Kaitlin." Thinking of the two adult Malfoy's Kat chuckled dryly. She almost, almost, felt sorry for the young blonde. Circe knew, she didn't want those two mad at her.

After chatting for a while longer the other Slytherin's finally left. Lupus simply curled up beside his master while Zareb wound himself tightly to her wrist. They both wanted to lecture her themselves but knew she wasn't ready. Her mental stability was still too weak for that. That's why her other friends and godfather weren't there just then. They'd give her time to heal and then talk to her later. Until then they'd just support her, giving her their love and friendship.

And hunting down that Malfoy bastard as soon as possible.

Before going back to sleep, Kaitlin weakly reached over and grabbed the word journal that Pansy had brought her. Something compelled her to write in it and she knew the only way she was going to sleep was if she obeyed that compulsion.

_Life_

_I've given up on my LIFE._

**Life** is simple, it's just not easy. -Unknown

"Never been truer words," she whispered, already falling asleep. In fact, she was out before the book was even closed. Because of that she didn't notice the sad silver eyes that came and watched her.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Kill Draco! I mean seriously! I can't believe he was written that way here. Didn't want to make him THAT cruel. Oh yeah, review time. Here we go!_

_Trexie: O.O A lemon shark? Do you know how freaking dangerous those things are when they are even slightly hungry? They used some dummy human legs to test that and those sharks ripped those legs to shreds! Oh well, at least you don't want a bull shark. Now those are deadly. Ah, back on subject. I'd meant to be nicer to Draco but the twit won't shape up. Actually, I don't think he's going to until after the wedding. Hmph, bloody brat._

_RosesAreForever23: Yeah, a lot of people love me for that. Lol, thanks._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Still no breaks for Kat. Why am I so cruel?_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	17. M is for Miracle

Knowing she was alone, Kaitlin sluggishly got to her feet. The infirmary was dark as it was night time and she had to wait a moment for her eyesight to adjust. It was hard to sneak out considering Lupus was lying right before the door but she managed somehow. Once she was free she started sneaking through the halls, bound for the outdoors. It was hard as many of the portraits and stairs seemed to conspire against her but eventually she made it to the entrance doors.

Stepping into the moonlight, Kat took a deep breath before running for the forest. She wasn't going to deep; certainly not as deep as she had before. In fact she wasn't planning on letting Hogwarts out of her sight. She just wanted to be among trees and nature for a while. Hermione had once playfully accused her of being part elf. Of course, considering her father was a Pureblood and her mother a muggleborn that was nearly impossible. Nearly, but not fully. Harry had just been preparing to do a more in depth study of his heritage when the potion happened. Now Kaitlin was wondering if perhaps she should do it anyway. It couldn't hurt after all.

Finally reaching the trees, she wandered about lazily. It hadn't escaped her notice that she had tried to commit suicide only hours before. Strange that she no longer felt that desire. Was that normal? 'No,' she finally decided. It wasn't normal but what else could she do after seeing Sirius like that. For the first time she had seen real fear in his eyes. No matter how much pain she was in she just couldn't cause him more trouble.

But what was she going to do? Her heart was still so heavy with Malfoy's words. She'd been prepared to work this all out with him but what was she to do now? There was no reason to go through a wedding she knew would end after a year. Although, really, it was his comment about the children that hurt the most. It meant nothing to him that they would be his children as well. No, all that mattered was that they were hers and he wouldn't have anything to do with her.

How could she have been so foolish as to believe in him? Their first date had been amazing and she'd really thought that maybe things would work out. Foolish her. Foolish wasn't even the right word. More like stupid. And she was stupid. Stupid for thinking any of this would work out and that she'd even have a chance at happiness.

Kaitlin was so lost in thought that she didn't notice that she'd traveled much deeper into the woods then she had ever intended. Looking around at last she found herself in a moonlit meadow. Everything was bathed in the silvery light and had a dream like feel to it. A peace fell upon her as she moved around, not noticing that her movements were smooth and slow. Everything seemed to slow inside the meadow. She watched as the leaves in the air danced lazily around her. There was a true magic here, one she didn't understand.

Settling beside a small stream, Kat looked around slowly. Her eyes were half closed, like she couldn't be bothered with being aware of her surroundings. Something inside her told her that she was to wait for something but why was still a mystery.

Sudden movement made her look over her shoulder. A small herd of unicorns stood there, staring at her. As one they snorted and turned on their hooves, running away. All but one. A small unicorn, probably just barely out of foalhood remained, staring at her. Slowly, it stepped out from under the covers of the trees and into the moonlight. Before her eyes it morphed until it stood before her, a tall and proud stallion. Who happened to be pure black.

'You are upset.' The words floated through her mind and she knew they came from the unicorn. Without realizing it, she told him everything. The unicorn just stood there, calmly listening to her story. At its end he lay beside her, letting her lean against him. The silence reigned for a moment longer before he looked down at her. 'All who are chosen to carry the Ra'Shel live through times of great pain. Still, I have never heard of so much pain in one life. Yet I must ask, do you still believe death is the answer?' Kat opened her mouth to say no before stopping. She wouldn't try and kill herself again; that she knew. But did she still think that death was the answer?

"Yes," she whispered. "I still think death is the best option open to me." The stallion said nothing, just nodded and turned to watch the stream. An easy silence fell as the magic of the meadow started up again. A gentle breeze started, just enough to ruffle Kaitlin's hair. Eventually her eyes closed and she faded off into sleep. It couldn't have been for long though since when she woke it was still night and the moonlight was still shining. The unicorn was gone and she was left alone to watch as every tiny droplet of water flowed through the stream.

"Why am I not surprised to see you here?"

Only slightly startled, Kaitlin rolled over to see Kari leaning against a nearby tree. The older teen just watched her fondly but didn't move.

"Why am I not surprised that you again are showing up out of nowhere?" Kat retorted. Kari chuckled at that, finally stepping out into the moonlight. The light affected her just as it had the unicorn though not as drastically. She still looked the same but the feel of her had changed. Like she calmer, freer, or something like that.

"Where are we?" Kaitlin asked when the other sat beside her. Kari gave her a look before pulling out one of those infernal cigarettes. But this time, rather then stick it in her mouth, she put the thing on the ground and scraped some dirt over it.

"I'm not sure this place has a name," she told the raven beside her. "I've always called it Haven. It's a place where humans go when they need a mental refuge. The healing properties of this place are phenomenal. I'm willing to be that if Voldermort ever spent any time here his sanity would be restored. Not that that would be a good thing of course. After all, his sanity is what made him more dangerous in the first war."

"So why am I here?" Kaitlin asked. Kari just glared at her before looking away. "Well, besides the suicide attempt."

"Do you need another reason?" the older teen asked sarcastically. "Harry, you tried to end your life. If anyone alive needs Haven right now it's you."

"But what about-" Kat argued only to have Kari silence her with a look.

"Listen," was all the silver haired girl said before closing her eyes and leaning back into the lush grass. Kaitlin couldn't even manage to be frustrated in the meadow so she just closed her eyes as well and listened. After a few moments she heard voices on the wind and slowly they formed words she knew.

_And I've lost who I am_

_And I can't understand_

_Why my heart is so broken_

_Rejecting your love_

_Without love gone wrong_

_Lifeless words carry on_

_But I know; all I know_

_Is that the end's beginning_

_Who I am from the start_

_Take me home to my heart_

_Let me go and I will run_

_I will not be silent_

_All this time spent in vain_

_Wasted years, wasted gain_

_All is lost; hope remains_

_And this war's not over_

_There's a light; there's a sun_

_Taking all shattered ones_

_To the place we belong_

_And his love will conquer_

"That's the song of your heart," Kari said suddenly. "This place lets you listen to what your heart is saying. Just one of the many ways it heals. When you're faced with the words of your heart you can't just ignore it anymore."

"What is your song?" Kat asked, not wanting to think about hers.

"Mine? You wouldn't even begin to understand it." Kari chuckled darkly. "It reflects the confusion and chaos of my life right now. Strange then that my heart seems so calm and perfect. Really, I'll never understand it. Now, don't you have work to do?"

Nodding, Kaitlin reluctantly got to her feet once more. She looked around the meadow one last time, soaking in the moonlight, before walking to the trees. Pausing, she looked back only to see that the meadow was empty. However, where she and Kari had been sitting, there now grew a single cornflower. The sight made the raven smile; it matched the fragility of her heart just then. It wasn't until days later that she would realize that the flower had grown from the place where Kari had buried that cigarette.

Finally leaving the meadow, Kaitlin shivered as she stepped out. Instantly reality crashed in on her, making her look around in surprise. She could clearly see Hogwarts from where she was. Sparing only a single glance behind her, she made her way back to the castle. Halfway there she realized that someone was standing at the entrance. It wasn't until she was nearly there though that she recognized the blonde hair. For a moment she tensed up, ready to run or scream. But then something inside her changed and she walked the rest of the way. Drawing up before the boy she shook her head when he opened his mouth to speak.

"I don't care what you have to say," she said quietly, letting the breeze carry her words. "Nothing will change the decision I've made tonight. No matter what you say or do I am committed to making this work beyond a year. I admit my independence and I will not change for you. But I will also respect your wishes and will try to fulfill them. If you want no part in the lives of our children, alright. I will not force it." Her eyes hardened. "No, your punishment for hurting me is that you will never be rid of me. In a week's time I will marry you and bind my life to yours. From that point on you had better get used to me. For I don't surrender easily."

Malfoy watched her a moment longer before nodding once in silence. When she moved to walk past him he shifted, drawing her attention. Mute, he handed her a small box before bowing and walking off. Curious, she opened the box and pulled out what lay inside. It was a delicate necklace made of spun silver. But what silver! It had the same look and feel of the soft moonlight at Haven. The charm itself drew her eyes. Tears slowly welled up as a smile spread across her face. It was a tiny cornflower, the petals as small and delicate as the one Kari had grown.

Securing the necklace around her neck, Kaitlin finished her trip back to the infirmary. Sneaking back inside she saw that Lupus hadn't budged but Zareb was glaring at her. Rather then argue with the snake the raven merely perched on the edge of her bed, waiting for the sky to lighten into dawn. As is slowly did just that she tugged her journal closer and flipped it open, curious to see if she had another word so soon.

_Miracle_

Apparently she did. It didn't event ake her a moment to write what she felt. _I prayed for and received a MIRACLE._

We can only appreciate the **miracle** of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness. -Unknown, the journal replied just as the sun broke the horizon and flooded the room with light. Smiling gently, Kaitlin allowed the last few painful tears escaped before turning her face to the light and basking. Things would get better; she'd be sure of that. After all, was that not a better option open to her rather then death?

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: There, I think that angst is pretty much over now. The next few chapters have angsty parts but it shouldn't be too bad. The most of it ended here. Only two chapters left till the wedding! Celebrate! Although, warning, I will not be updating tomorrow night. Instead I'll be preparing to take my physical to get into the Army Reserve which starts at six o'clock in the morning the day after tomorrow. Still, if I pass I'll officially be in the United States Army Reserve! Oh yeah, the song I used is Shattered by Trading Yesterday. Apparently it's the short version and I only wrote it once instead of twice like the lyrics show. On to the reviews!_

_Melissa: I totally didn't mean to upload the wrong chapter the first time. Actually, I'm still kicking myself for it. Still, glad you like the real chapter. I was really nervous about the last chapter so I'm really glad it worked out so well._

_Hyper Hippie: It's realistic? YES! I was so worried that it wouldn't be. Yeah, I don't like the fics that make this all seem so easy. Almost makes me wish this sex change potion was real. It would be insightful, no?_

_Raven028: Draco is sort of a work in process but he'll figure it out in the end, never fear._

_Death Siblings: You're the third person to say it was realistic. My goal has been reached. I really hate all the ones that make it all so simple. Thank you so much for the link by the way. You'll notice that I used the song here. I just listened to it and I was like, 'They are so right! This matches Kaitlin at this point so well.' Now I'm just worried that I shattered the realisticness of the story._

_On a side note, the last chapter received the most comments ever because I uploaded the wrong story chapter. My apologies for that. I'm doing two stories at the same time and accidentally pressed the wrong button, resulting in the mix up. Obviously that has been fixed now. And for those of you who are thinking I did it on purpose…I DID NOT!_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	18. N is for Needy

Finally forcing herself back awake, Kaitlin looked around dully. Her eyes settled on the green curtains and she sighed. Of course. She was back in the dorm rooms. After all, Madame Pomfrey hadn't been able to find a physical reason to keep her in the infirmary. Even though Snape and Dumbledore had both expressed misgivings about her return to the dorms Pansy had volunteered to keep an eye on her. Although Kat realized it was more like mothering her. Or smothering her. Give or take an s.

Feeling movement, the raven looked down to see Lupus looking at her. The puppy whined at her, his eyes wide and pleading. He was a very energetic creature and wasn't happy that she hadn't taken him outside in days. Four days to be exact. It was now only three days till her wedding. With that thought Kat raised her hand and touched the necklace that rested in the hollow of her throat. She still wasn't to sure what to make of the blonde after that night. He'd come to see her in the infirmary but hadn't really said much. Just checked in then left. None of the Slytherin's could tell her how he was reacting to the news of her almost suicide because, apparently, he was avoiding them all.

Lupus whined again, drawing Kaitlin's mind to him once more. Smiling tightly, she nodded and got out of bed, ready to take him out. Pansy was still asleep so the raven dressed in silence before sneaking out. It was still insanely early so she was able to walk confidently through the common room and out the portrait. Once in the halls Kat couldn't managed to keep a soft smile off her face. She always felt a certain thrill when she walked through the halls, Lupus at her heels. Really, she wasn't sure why. There was no sense of power or nostalgia but there was something

About to leave the castle, movement made her green eyes dart to the shadows. Instantly they widened when she saw none other then Draco Malfoy.

Kissing another girl.

Freezing in midstep, Kat stared for a moment. Seemed she now had her answer on whether the blonde had actually felt remorse. Not even a second after she saw the blonde she was out the door, running. Lupus was racing after her, yipping for her to slow down. Since they were running so fast they didn't see Draco shove the other girl away from him in disgust. They didn't hear his angry shouts for her to leave him alone. Most of all, they didn't see the pure pain in his eyes when he realized they had seen him.

Finally stopping at the lake, Kaitlin sat at the water's edge. She could see the giant squid, swimming lazily far off the shore. The sky was still dark though it was lighting up rather quickly as the sun began to rise. It was nearly identical to that morning after Haven but this time she had no hope in her eyes. She would stick the marriage out, just as she'd said she would. That didn't mean she wouldn't feel pain and hurt despite it.

The sun finally rose and time ticked by. Kaitlin barely moved as the time went on. Lupus roamed all around her but always returned, watching her worriedly before moving on. At some point a small otter appeared and watched her solemnly. Silence reigned as the day dragged on. Students walked by her but all seemed to know she wasn't to be messed with. In fact, most didn't even notice her. So it didn't shock her when Pansy appeared with Blaise and neither saw her. She could see how mad Pansy was and thought it was at Draco. Therefore she was surprised when she heard the girl's rant.

"I can't believe that whore," the girl nearly seethed. "She actually had the gall to trick Draco into meeting her in the morning and then kissed him. She knows Draco is getting married in three days! Hell, the whole school knows it. What is her problem?"

"You know she's been hunting Draco since she first saw him," Blaise responded, frowning in anger. "I'm not actually surprised she went to such lengths. Pissed off, yes. Surprised, no. What I'm worried about is Draco. He hasn't talked at all today except to tell us what happened. And no one has seen Kaitlin all day. You don't think she saw him, do you?"

"Oh Merlin," Pansy whispered, the blood draining out of her face. "She's only barely holding on right now. If she saw them…we have to find her!" Filled with urgency, the two Slytherin's raced away. Kaitlin didn't budge, instead staring at the water. Had it been true? She hadn't stuck around but now that she thought about it, Malfoy had been rather tense. Hadn't she heard something about another girl actively hunting the blonde? Yeah, Cashlin Thanatos. A rather shapely but utterly cruel blonde girl. She was in Ravenclaw but no one would be surprised is she turned out to be a Deatheater. Actually, most would be surprised if she wasn't.

Realizing what had probably happened, the raven girl stiffly got to her feet. Lupus was at her side instantly, looking up with worried gold eyes. She managed a smile to him before hurrying back up to the castle. Her apparent invisibility stayed as she moved through the halls, heading to the Slytherin dorms. Upon entry she couldn't see Draco and realized it was class time. Her face burned for a moment when she realized she was missing her classes before shrugging and returning to her room. It would be a while before the blonde would return. She might as well use that time to study. Her mind refused to focus though, instead drifting to the blonde boy. Why was she so desperate to be with him? If anyone else had been her Suchen partner she would have fought it. If they had acted like him she would have never even considered going through with it. But since it was Malfoy she was fighting as hard as she could to make it work. Was it because of what Narcissa said? Because she and Malfoy were supposed to work together?

Dinner finally came and went. Hearing people move around below in the common room Kat took a deep breath to brace herself. Stalling for time she reached for that bloody journal and opened it. Once more she was faced with a new word.

_Needy_

_I know that I am NEEDY,_ she wrote reluctantly. Suddenly she knew that Malfoy was in the common room and she shot out of her bed. She had to get this over with before her courage deserted her. Nodding to Lupus, she let Zareb settle around her wrist before nervously walked down the stairs. At the base she paused and listened. She could still feel Malfoy but no one else. Had he banished everyone else? About to take a risk, Kat froze as a soft and broken voice reached her ears. Her eyes widened in shock as she listened to Draco sing.

_I wish I had a coat of silk_

_The color of the sky_

_I wish I had a lady_

_Fair as any butterfly_

_I wish I had a house of stone_

_That looked down to the sea_

_But most of all I wish that I_

_Was someone else but me_

Tearing up, Kaitlin finally stepped off the final stair. Draco was in his normal chair but he was slouched in it. To most it was look like he was trying to curl up into it so he could hide. In Kat's eyes it looked more like he no longer had the strength to sit up. Maybe it was both.

Seeing her, Draco sat up instantly. His eyes were filled with pain but he couldn't manage to get his apologies past his tongue. There were just too many flying about his mind. He rather felt like the Seeker he was, only he was chasing his thoughts instead a Snitch. All in all, he preferred the Snitch. It was easier to catch.

Kat finally made the first move, walking over to her own chair. Her gait was not as smooth as it normally was and she was clearly nervous. Still, Draco realized how much it cost her to move at all and he reacted accordingly. Once she had sat down he got up and moved his chair to face her before settling once more. The two teens looked at each other for a while, trying to gauge the other's pain before speaking. It was finally Kat who broke the stillness with a tiny smile. Her eyes had the smallest of sparks that came from her humor, making Draco's own eyes light up.

"So, rumor has it that you're being hunted by a girl," Kat said hesitantly. She wanted to keep the mood relatively light but didn't know how to start the conversation. Luckily, Draco again understood what she was doing and nodded easily.

"You could say that," he admitted. "I prefer the term poached personally but it equates to the same. I realize that with our past you aren't going to believe me but…I didn't want to kiss her this morning. She had written me a note that asked me to come see her this morning. Said she had something important to give me. I figured it was something from a teacher. But as soon as I got her she started flirting again. I was about to leave when she suddenly kissed me. Of course, I pulled back as soon as my mind caught up with me but you'd already seen." Kaitlin blinked her eyes in surprise.

"You knew that I saw you?"

"Yes. I…sensed you somehow. I mean, I didn't know you were there until I felt your pain. Once that hit I just knew that I'd hurt you because you'd seen us." Tears welled up in Draco's eyes but he held them in. Curse it all; he was a Malfoy! Malfoy's did not cry. "I'm so sorry Kaitlin. Sorrier then I can ever say. I've been going about this all wrong. All I could think about was how, once again, my future was being chosen for me. I never even tried to accept it, like you did. I know after everything you have every right to hate me. Just…would you please give me one more chance?"

Kaitlin sat in silence for a moment. Her bright green eyes observed him closely but he didn't fidget. He knew that his future with her would be determined by what she saw. So rather then pull up his walls like his instincts screeched for him to do, he lowered them. Let her see the real him. In the end he was given his answer. Kat didn't smile, didn't nod. Her face remained exactly the same as she stood. For a moment Draco wilted, knowing he'd failed. She wouldn't trust him again. Then, to his shock, she walked up to him. Without speaking she sat beside him and curled up into his side. Utterly shocked, the blonde simply lifted an arm, letting her snuggle up right into him. She took a deep breath, like she was enjoying his scent, before sighing and settling. Realizing her answer, Draco smiled and let his arm fall around her protectively. There was no way he was letting go of her again.

"Will you finish your song?" she suddenly asked, already half asleep. She hadn't realized how safe she would feel beside him. It was rather interesting. Still, it was also something for her to ponder another day. Right then she just wanted to hear his beautiful voice again. Smiling, Draco nodded and resumed singing.

_Now I don't have a coat of silk_

_But still I have the sky_

_Now I don't have a lady_

_But there goes a butterfly_

_Now I don't have a house of stone_

_But I can see the sea_

_Now most of all I know that I_

_Am happy to be me_

_I'm happy to be me_

Realizing that Kaitlin was asleep, Draco smiled contentedly and followed her example. Other Slytherin's came and went but none noticed the two teens curled up in the chair, both asleep. And both smiling. Neither knew that up in Kaitlin's room Lupus was staring at her journal's final entry.

We're very **needy** people, you know. -Alex Van Halen

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: I am so sorry! It's been two days since my last update and this one sucks! Let me explain though. The day before yesterday I had to go to a hotel for some reason before my army physical. I think they just wanted everyone in one place before the whole things. Anyway, so I ended up spending over half my day there doing nothing except working out in the gym. Then I got woken at 3:30 in the freaking morning. Got to MEPS by 5:00 in the morning and then didn't get done and out until 1:15! So by the time I got home I was dead to the world. (The only good news being that I passed the physical! Now I just need a little more paperwork and I'm in!) And now I'm leaving for Arizona on Saturday so it will be another week until I upload again after tomorrow. I'm so sorry! Let's get to the reviews, okay?_

_Trexie: Lol, still, wanting a shark as a kid? You're right; your mental state needed work. Which means mine does too cause I really wanted a hyena. Still do actually, even though I know I can't. Yes, Draco needs to shape up, and I think he finally is. Kat's making him face things he wasn't before. And yes, he was the sad silver eyes at the infirmary. He never meant to hurt her that bad._

_Hyper Hippie: Lol, Yeah, I'd use the potion right away. Wouldn't want it getting to old. Thanks for your wishes on the physical. It was fine and I passed easily._

_ Stabler 1983: Welcome aboard! Always glad to welcome new readers._

_RosesAreForever23: I know suicide is not the answer. She's starting to learn that now. Draco is a git but not evil. Just…alright, he's evil. But he's getting better._

_Death siblings: Lol, I'm all for using good songs and that was a good one. It really did catch the feel of her just then. Actually, because of that I'm not hooked on the band._

_Slythindor Hybrid: Love the name. That aside, yes, they are both virgins. As for happy ending, I swear it will be happy. May not seem like it at first but it will end happily. So don't get upset until I say it's the final chapter._

_Blackrose-you touch you die: Thanks!_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	19. O is for Over

Tiredly, Kaitlin glared at her breakfast before her. She wasn't in the mood to eat but had no choice. The next day was her wedding and everyone was making sure she was ready. Pansy and the other Slytherin girl's were helping her with her gown and bouquet while Narcissa kept dropping in and out, keeping her up to date with all the little details. Really, she would rather have been Draco at that point. He was simply told where to show up, when, and what to wear. Other then that the women had nothing to do with him. Why did the husbands get off so easily?

Spotting said blonde, Kat managed a true smile. The past two days had been filled with them talking. Sharing experiences, dreams, goals, and desires. Sure, it had been awkward making sure he didn't realize who she was. Somehow she managed though. She'd also learned a lot about the blonde. Little things no one would notice. Like the fact that he had a whole freakin jewelry box dedicated to his earrings. He'd actually showed it to her when she'd asked. She could count on one hand the number of girl's she knew with that many earrings. Of course, then he had noticed hers and she'd had to make up a story on how she'd got it. That was a rather close call.

The arrival of the owl's drew her attention back to reality. She watched with apathetic eyes as the owls swooped among the students. A faint smile was coaxed out of her when a regal eagle owl landed before Draco. It held a rather large package and the raven couldn't help but think that it was for the wedding. That feeling was confirmed when his silver eyes darted up to meet hers. She smiled teasingly and laughed when he blushed faintly. For a brief moment she was about to demand to know what it was but was interrupted when a large great horned owl landed before her. Blinking in surprise, she took the letter from the bird and thanked it before it flew away. Curious, she opened the envelope and pulled out a plain card. In a rather messy scrawl on front it said, 'Do not open until you're alone.'

Slight wariness fell upon the raven at those words. Whenever she was told to be alone to do something she tended to feel fear. With Voldermort stepping up his efforts to capture her being alone was not a good position to be in. Thus her feelings of fear and suspicion. Still, there was something about the letter that calmed her as well. The script reminded her of someone's and that feeling gave her comfort. So, after making sure to not only tell Pansy that she was going back to their room but also signaling to Hermione, Kat left the Great Hall. Walking sedately down the twisting halls to the dungeon, she allowed her mind to wander once more.

Christmas was in a week's time. After the wedding tomorrow night she and Draco would go to one of the many Malfoy vacation houses. Of course, Pansy had told her that those houses were more like manors in their own rights. Anyway, they'd spend the week there on honeymoon. They'd already decided to go see his parents for Christmas morning. Then, around lunch time, she would be permitted to visit her own family. Yes, Draco thought she meant the LeNair family but, really, besides Kari she didn't know any LeNair's. Instead she was going to spend the rest of Christmas at Grimmauld Place with Sirius, Remus, Hermione, and all the Weasley's.

Reaching the dorms, she entered sedately. Nodding to the only other student there, Theodore, she made her way to her room. Upon entering she was met by a very disgruntled Lupus. He didn't like that she left him in the room whenever she went to meals. Of course, she had no other choice since he decided that everyone's food was actually his. It had made things a little chaotic.

Once safe on her own bed, Lupus at her feet, curtains drawn, and silencing spells up, she finally opened the letter. She was suddenly very glad for the silencing spells as the card roared to life.

"HELLO KAITLIN! THIS IS YOUR BELOVED IF SOMEWHAT ESTRANGED FAMILY! ON THIS, THE EVE OF YOUR WEDDING, WE HAVE DECIDED TO THROW YOU A PARTY! MEET US AT THE ROOM OF REQUIERMENT AT 6:00 AND PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MAGIC, MIRTH, AND MARRIMENT! OH YEAH, DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR WOLF AND SNAKE! THE MORE THE MARRIER! AND IF YOU TRY AND SKIP OUT RON AND HERMIONE HAVE PERMISSION TO DRAG YOU KICKING AND SCREAMING! SEE YOU SOON LITTLE SISTER! THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE.

SIRIUS BLACK

REMUS LUPIN

HERMIONE GRANGER (WEASLEY)

RON WEASLEY

MOLLY AND ARTHUR WEASLEY

FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY

BILL AND CHARLIE WEASELY"

The card burst into flames at the end. It still didn't even manage to make the now shocked girl blink. She stared at her hands for a moment before glancing at Lupus. A small laugh escaped when she saw his eyes unfocused. That laugh was instantly followed by much louder and longer ones. Oh, she'd have to ask the twins how they'd managed to do that. It seemed to be based of the design of a Howler but much more pleasant.

Falling back on the bed, Kat let her mind wander. Her godfather's and two friends had been the only ones to know she was a girl now. They must have told the other Weasely's. But if that was so why wasn't Ginny included on the list of people?

Choosing not to dwell on it, Kaitlin rolled over. Since it was Saturday she had nothing to do before the party. Might as well catch up on some sleep then. So, with heavy eyes, she curled up with Lupus and faded away.

-{-

Bidding Draco a farewell, Kaitlin made her way to the Room of Requirement. Lupus was out her heels, Zareb around her left upper arm. Both had been pleasantly surprised when she'd told them about the party. Of course, Zareb had been the only one to understand her but he'd been rather excited. Things had gotten boring since that first spat with Malfoy. The only point of excitement had been Potter's attempt at suicide. That wasn't a source of excitement that any wanted to see again.

Reaching the Room, Kat paced three times and waited for the door. Once it appeared, she slipped in, not really sure what to expect. All was silent and dark for a moment when the door suddenly slammed shut. As soon as it did the lights were thrown on, revealing a good sized living room. Instantly all her friends leapt out from their hiding places and yelled, "Surprise!" Startled, Kaitlin fell back with a yelp, actually falling on her butt as she tripped over Lupus. Everyone laughed at that and, once everything finally sunk in, Kat joined in. It was finally Fred that came over and pulled her to her feet.

Settling down in the various chairs and sofas, the friends all caught up with her. Hours passed and the party went on. They ate when they were hungry, drank when they were thirsty, and laughed whenever they wanted. Kaitlin especially enjoyed it all. As good as it felt to be the Slytherin she truly was she didn't enjoy hiding her emotions. Here, among all the Gryffindor's she was free to laugh and scowl and glare. There was no hidden agenda, no shady meanings. Everything was exactly as it appeared. It had a sort of liberating feel to it all.

Finally, after everyone had caught up, Hermione suddenly stood up. "Movie time!" she yelled, picking up a remote and pushing a button. The room went dark as the TV turned on. A could seconds later the screen flared to life, making Kat spit out her drink. It was a video of Harry's first Christmas at Hogwarts. She watched as the boy her and Ron unwrapped their presents and fooled around with the gifts. That part finally ended with the two laughing after a brief wrestling match. Then it switched to playing Harry's first Quiditch game. They all cheered and hissed as they watched it all once more.

So it went on for some time. They all just watched as snippets of Harry's life were shown to them. Some parts had them rolling on the ground in laughter. Some had them smiling (or gagging) because they were sweet. A few had them groaning in good nature when someone did something stupid. However, not a single negative moment was shown. Not a single bad experience was even hinted at. It made Harry's life seem perfect. The only reason Kat didn't resent that was because she knew that everyone there knew otherwise.

As the movie ended a strange feeling fell upon Kaitlin's shoulders. She watched as her family and friends talked animatedly but didn't join in. The movie had ended with that hokey 'The end' screen. But…it really had been the end, hadn't it? The final memory was of coming to Grimmauld Place for the summer. Harry had been standing with his godfather's, grinning ear to ear. She knew that just a short couple months later the whole potion event would occur. That would mark the end of Harry's life and the beginning of her own.

Standing suddenly, she made the excuse of her upcoming wedding and bid them all goodnight. Once free of the Room, instead of heading to the dorms she headed towards the Astronomy tower. Her thoughts were to jumbled and wild to fall asleep. So, with tireless steps, she began the long climb to the top.

Upon reaching the very top of the tower, the raven leaned against the rail. Despondently, she looked up at the star filled sky and sighed. She hated when these revelations came.

"Something wrong?"

Turning, she saw Draco standing there, leaning against the door. His eyes were gentle as he walked forward but didn't touch her until she nodded her permission. Once he had that he took her into his arms and held her. Silence reigned for a moment before she sighed and leaned back into him.

"I used to be so different," she said quietly. "Just before this school year a lot of things changed. Tonight I was just reminded of how different I am from what I was. I guess I was just trying to figure out if it was a good or bad change."

"There is no good or bad change," Draco said quietly. "There is always good and bad in every change. Even if one outweighs the other they don't negate each other. So all we can do is ride it out, hoping for the best. Well, that and while we never forget what we were we aren't afraid of embracing who we are."

"When did you get so wise?" Kat teased, feeling better.

"You," Draco said wryly back. "You've been a bad influence on me." Laughing, Kaitlin just snuggled in closer. She suddenly could feel the blonde smirk and was about to demand to know why when he literally swept her into this arms. A strangled yelp came from her at the sudden change before she blushed and hit his chest. The prat just laughed and proceeded to go back down the stairs, Lupus at his heel. Despite her protests he carried her all the way to the dorms and through the commons. It wasn't until he was at the base of the girl's stairs that he set her back on her feet. Feeling childish she stuck her tongue out at him, laughing as he did the same. Deciding to be just a little mischievous she suddenly leaned in, kissing the boy softly on the lips before darting up the stairs. She had a few seconds of shock before Draco was yelling at her, demanding that she come back and explain that. Luckily she could hear the smile in his voice and just laughed.

In her room once more, Kat quickly changed for bed before grabbing her blood journal and settling on the bed. Seeing Pansy getting ready for bed she nodded before focusing on the book before her. She just wanted to get this over with.

_Over_

_I know it's OVER,_ she wrote, thinking of her past life. Oddly enough, there was not pain in the thought.

Get mad, then get **over** it. -Colin Powell

"Understood," the raven said with a smile before putting the book away. Snuggling under the covers she fell asleep to the thought that she was getting married the next day.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Yes, I left it as a cliffy. Yes, I will not be writing again until probably Tuesday after this coming one. Yes, you have permission to get pissed off at me. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Yeah, hyena's are sort of well known thanks to Lion King. But they aren't that bad…most of the time._

_ILOVEDRARRY: I'm glad you liked it._

_Hyper Hippie: I think Draco did very well with the whole explaining and making up. Glad you agree. And thanks for the congrats!_

_Slythindor Hybrid: Yeah, lol, I got your name. I just thought it was cool. That's what Harry/Kaitlin is. A Slythindor._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	20. P is for Pain

Nervously, Kaitlin stared out the tower window. She didn't dare pace for fear that she would rip her gown. It still mystified her how girls could move in floor length gowns. That wasn't even counting the bloody high heels Pansy had forced her into. Just the thought of the shoes made her feet throb. First chance she got she was kicking them off. But just then she couldn't do that. All she could do was wait for Narcissa to arrive with the last minute additions. Seemed the jeweler had had an accident so her wedding jewelry was there yet. Narcissa had been so panicked she'd gone herself to try and recover the pieces. Though why more jewelry was needed Kat didn't know. Her gown was already decked out in tiny emerald stones and silver stitching.

Awkwardly, the raven stood up and made her way across the small room. Dumbledore had given her a room in one of the many towers to prepare herself. Really, it was needed after that morning. She'd been utterly seized by beauticians, hairstylists, and seamstresses. They'd tortured her for hours, pulling and pushing and poking and prodding. It had been a relief to run for the tower. Now she still had a couple hours before the ceremony began and she was terrified of messing anything up. She didn't even dare touch her face for fear that it would mess up the makeup. That left her with staring out the window and carefully moving around the room. Merlin's beard, she was even afraid of sitting for fear that it would muss her gown.

Thinking of the gown, Kat hurried over to the mirror. As always she blinked a little in surprise when she saw her reflection. It was hard to believe that the person she was seeing was actually her. Her emerald eyes stared at her face for a moment, taking in the unfamiliar eye shadow and mascara. Somehow she'd managed to talk Narcissa out of lipstick but there was blush and foundation. Worse, glitter was laced through everything, making her face shimmer and glow. Slowly, her eyes drifted lower to her dress.

Put simply, her dress was elegant. Put in more complicated terms, it was fancy. The main body was a delicate white satin with silver thread etched as flowers. Some of the flowers were outlined in tiny emerald stones that shone the same color as her eyes. It was a strapless dress so the bodice clung to her chest tightly. What she loved the most was that the left side was hiked up so that the body fell in tiers. It also allowed the lace under the satin flair out. The whole thing was made for her body alone. Narcissa had assured her that it had been magiced so that even if her body shape changed she could still wear it. Although when she was ever going to wear a wedding dress outside of her wedding was something Kat couldn't figure out.

Having taken in the dress yet again her wide eyes moved up to her hair. It lay straight and gleaming past her shoulders. Her hair accessory was one of things Narcissa was going to get so until then her hair was safe. But she knew the Malfoy matron was planning on putting her hair up in a chignon. Apparently that was a fancier name for a bun. Not that she actually cared. She hadn't understood ninety percent of what they had all told her.

Hearing footsteps, Kaitlin turned in time to see the door open. Narcissa swept in, a package in her arms. Instantly both women smiled, truly glad to see the other. Their friendship had been steady throughout the whole ordeal after all.

"Sorry I'm late," the elder said, quickly setting the package down and opening it. "It took forever to gather all the pieces. I haven't even had time to look at them. I wonder what they look like." She saw Kat's surprised look and laughed lightly. "Oh, I didn't design them dear. I was going to but Draco insisted that I let him do it. He picked out all the materials and made the designs. So I'm just as in the dark as you are. Now please sit so I can get this all together." Nodding silently, Kat obeyed. She felt Narcissa move behind her before the older woman started brushing her hair. Relaxing, Kaitlin let her eyes close and took in the peace. Her nerves started calming as her soon to be mother-in-law quickly put her hair up in a chignon. It wasn't until the blonde moved to get the hair piece that the raven opened her eyes. She wanted to see what Draco had made.

Slowly, Narcissa pulled out an elegant lily. It took Kat a moment to realize that it wasn't an actual lily but rather a stone carved one. However, it was a stone she didn't recognize. It was a very pale gray, looking about the same softness as velvet. Seeing her confusion, Narcissa chuckled.

"It's called moonstone, Kaitlin. I'm actually impressed. It's rather difficult to sculpt moonstone like this. You'll have heard of moonstone of course. It's occasionally used in potions once ground up. I also seem to recall it being used in other classes. Now just hold still a moment so I can get this in." The piece slipped right into the chignon, the pale gray standing out clearly against Kat's black hair. Unable to keep still, the raven nearly jumped up and made her way to the mirror. Her mouth dropped at the sight. For the first time ever she thought that she was…beautiful. Not in the normal way most females were. It was more like…an inner beauty finally allowed to show itself.

It didn't take long for the rest of the jewelry to be put on. Her necklace was made of hematite, her earrings of black opals. What she loved the most, besides the lily, was the circlet that held her veil. It was made from snowflake obsidian. Once everything was in place Narcissa kissed her on the cheek and left. There was still a half hour till she'd need to head down but she enjoyed the privacy of the moment.

About to sit again Kat was interrupted by a knock on her door. Curious, she turned to it and called, "Come in." The door opened slowly and Remus slipped in. Instantly the raven's face glowed with a smile and she nearly launched herself at her adopted godfather. "You came!" she squealed, not even wincing at the sound. The werewolf merely laughed as he suddenly found himself with an armful of excited teen.

"Of course I came," he teased. "My cub is about to get married. Sirius is here too. He decided that he was going to be here for you no matter what. I just managed to sneak up here really fast to give you something." Curious, Kaitlin pulled back. She watched as Remus reached into his cloak and pulled out a…letter?

"You wrote me a letter?" she asked, taking it when it was offered. Her name was written on the front in a very elegant script. Actually, she couldn't ever remember Remus's script being that nice. So it didn't surprise her when he shook his head.

"I did not," he told her quietly. "Your mother did." Shocked, Kat could only stare at him as he explained. "Your mother knew she probably wouldn't survive the war. Hell, both your parents knew. So, while she was still pregnant with you your mother wrote two letters. One for Harry and one for Kaitlin since she didn't know if she was having a boy or girl. Her instructions were to give her child the letter on the day of their wedding if she wasn't there to do it herself. I can give you Harry's letter as well if you want but since you're Kaitlin now I thought this one would be better." Kat just stared at the letter in her hands. Her throat was to tight to say anything so she just nodded. Luckily Remus understood and just squeezed her shoulder gently before leaving. It was still a couple minutes before the raven moved to the window seat, careful not to mess up her dress as she sat down. With trembling fingers she opened the envelope and read her mother's words.

_Dear Kaitlin,_

_I'm so sorry I'm not there for you right now. I remember my own wedding so clearly. Really, I don't think I would have survived if my mother hadn't been there. Well, her and Sirius. I mean, who can get to nervous or scared with Sirius there being an idiot? But I want you to know that I am there with you in spirit. Just as I have always been and will always be._

_I can't tell you how sorry I am that I wasn't able to see you grow up. No doubt you are beautiful, inside and out. Probably had the boys fighting over you. On that note you just may be happy your father isn't there with you. No doubt he would have murdered any potential boyfriends for thinking they were your equal. He is sort of protective like that._

_Love, mostly I wanted to write this letter to tell you how proud I am of you. I realize I probably haven't been there for most of your life but I'm still so proud of you. If for no other reason then you're actually getting married. Getting married is not simple task, my child. It's not something to do on a whim and it should never be forced. Getting married is truly the ultimate act of love. Yes, having children is also an act of love but it's not the same. You don't plan out having a child to the smallest detail. You don't actively work with the father on every item of note. No, weddings are a time to get to know each other even better. I learned a lot about your father planning our wedding. Some good, some not so good. But it just brought me all the closer to him._

_I know that you must be nervous and excited. If you're anything like me you're sitting alone, imagining your love at the end of the aisle. You're thinking about how perfect he'll look and how nothing could be more perfect. And then, if you're truly my daughter, you'll be thinking about how much you're going to screw something up. Relax. You'll be fine. No doubt the second he sees you your love is going to be at a loss for words. I just hope he didn't do what James did. James was so tongue tied he couldn't even manage to say 'I do.' I had to stomp on his foot to get a reaction!_

_Most of all I want you to enjoy this night. It's an event and time that will never come again. Nothing will ever compare to walking down the aisle for the first time. Take it in and be natural. No doubt you'll make everything perfect and lovely. And remember, I'm always there, watching you and probably crying in joy. I love you so much._

_Peace and love be with you, my daughter._

_~Lily_

Sobbing, Kat closed her eyes and held the letter close to her chest. Her mother's words rang in her head as she slowly fell to the ground. How had she known? How had her mother known all those years ago exactly what she needed to hear just then? Yes, it hurt to think that her mother wouldn't actually be there. But she could feel it. Her mother's love was there, surrounding her and inside her.

As the tears finally ceased Kaitlin was reduced to staring at the ceiling. She knew her make-up was charmed not to run or smudge so there was no worry there. Nothing for her to do to get her mind off her situation. Her mother had said marriage shouldn't be done on a whim or forced. Well, this was hardly on a whim but it was forced, wasn't it? After all, Suchen was the cause of all this. She wouldn't marry Draco if it hadn't been for it.

But then again…was it really forced anymore? The more she thought about it the more she realized it wasn't. Sure, she and Draco had had a very rough start. Rougher then anyone else. But right then she wasn't doing this because of Suchen. She was doing it because she wanted to. Yes, for some strange reason, she wanted to marry Draco. Strangest feeling really. That didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Unbeknownst to her, Kaitlin's word journal far down in the castle flipped open. Slowly, words began to write themselves as tear stains appeared on the pages.

_Pain_

_I am filled with PAIN._

The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the **pain**. - Jennifer Aniston

Then, slowly, the book closed itself once more just as Narcissa knocked on Kaitlin's door. It was time.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Honey! I'm home! Did ya all miss me? I can't say I regret leaving but I'm so happy to be back! I missed this story and I missed all of you. Still, it was so freaking hard to get back into this. Gah! This is what I get for leaving writing for a week. Oh well. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Nah, Draco's doing better on the whole jerk department. He's still a spoiled brat but hey! Life is a work in progress. Besides, Kaitlin will keep him in line now._

_Slythindor Hybrid: Hmm…I'm gonna have to read that one. Right now I'm reading the stories by slytherin-nette. They're also good and I recommend them all._

_Hyper Hippie: Yeah, the film was supposed to be sort of bittersweet. After all, it showed the end of Harry's life and the beginning of her own. And yes, Draco's getting better. Still some rough spots to smooth out but he'll get there._

_Drarry-hell-yes: Cute is good…right?_

_Poisinrose: Hmm…maybe I'll do that. I can totally see her chewing Draco out for that. That might actually be fun._

_SunshineAndDaisies: I was on a mission trip myself so I don't mind the late review. Hope you had a good vacation._

_Darkplayer35: The whole thing, canon and Fanfiction, is sort of unrealistic. Still, I'm glad you like it._

_Alright people! The chapter you've all been waiting for is coming up tomorrow. That's right! It's the wedding! Omg, I'm doing that tomorrow? I'M NOT READY! I HAVEN'T DONE ANY REASEARCH OR MADE ANY PLANS!_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	21. I do' is for weddings

Narcissa looked down at the pale girl's face and felt a twinge of sympathy. She remembered her own wedding so clearly. The fear she'd felt because she hadn't known Lucius at all. The resentment of being forced to do something she didn't want. It was only now, all these years later, that she could look back and find a peace in what she'd done. But how could she explain that to this scared little girl beside her? This was something words could not fix nor even ease.

Pausing outside the entrance to the Great Hall, Narcissa turned to Kaitlin. "Do you want me to wait with you?" she asked gently. It didn't surprise her when the raven child shook her head. This was her last chance to find the inner peace she'd need to make it through. So, with a heavy heart, Narcissa gently kissed the girl on the forehead and entered alone.

Alone once more, Kaitlin allowed herself to breath heavily. She could feel the panic welling up within her and she was desperate to fight it off. It didn't make any sense. She could face Voldermort without twitching an eye but was terrified about getting married. The thought made her lips twitch up. It was sort of strange. How did women survive with hormones like this?

Hearing the quiet chatter from the doors, Kat closed her eyes. She tried to envision what it looked like inside. She remembered Narcissa telling there that the colors of her wedding were silver and green. Other then that she had no idea what sort of decorations would be on the other side. A vague memory popped up of Dumbledore and McGonagall talking. They'd said something about removing all the house tables. Apparently during the actual wedding there would only be seats. Much like it had been after the death of Cedric. Then, during the reception, it would have small tables scattered throughout like the Yule ball. That wouldn't be so bad. At least everything would be vaguely familiar.

Her thoughts drifted to the people. What would they be wearing? She had no doubt the Gryffindor's would be wearing their house colors. After all, silver and green were the colors of Slytherin. Her old housemates wouldn't be caught dead in those colors. But Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff would probably dress in variations of the wedding colors. Their rivalry with her house wasn't as bad. Still, despite the general colors, Kat couldn't envision what people would wear. She'd never been to a true wedding. She didn't know what was normal.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly opened her eyes once more. Funny, she'd never noticed how big and foreboding the doors to the Great Hall were. For the first time ever she was afraid to enter. Just the night before she'd seen the end of the life of Harry Potter. Now, tonight, would mark the end of the life of Kaitlin Potter. After this she would be Kaitlin Malfoy. Was she ready for that?

"Kari," she breathed. "If you're there, I could really use your help." All was silent for a moment before a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder.

"And how can I help?" Kari asked, coming around so she could be seen. "This is your wedding. No one can help you now. Everything you do and feel is by your own choice. Anything else added won't make a difference."

"You could distract me," Kat said back with a small smile. Kari just smiled back and shook her head. "Well, then can you at least be here for me?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" the silver haired teen teased. She leaned against the wall and pulled out a cigarette. Ignoring Kaitlin's look of distaste, Kari put the stick in her mouth and was about to light it when she paused. She stared at the cigarette for a long moment before putting her lighter away. Instead, she took the stick and held it between her hands. When she removed her hand a small flowered sprig remained. The blooms were tiny and a soft silver color. Without speaking, Kari twisted the plant a few times before it had turned into a spiral bracelet.

"They're called Lamb's Ear," she said quietly. "It's a special flower and bloody hard to grow. I'm not all that into superstition but I've learned that I'm luckiest whenever this plant is nearby. Maybe that luck will help you as well." She offered the bracelet, a strange look on her face. To stunned to speak, Kaitlin just nodded before taking the gift and putting it on. Before she could gather the words to speak soft music met their ears.

"Time to go," Kari said with a smile. "You'll be fine. Just remember to keep waling and speak when you're told to." And with that, she was gone, and Kaitlin was again left alone to face the doors. Taking a deep breath, she nodded and turned just as the doors started opening. Without a trace of hesitation she walked through and into the light.

For a second she couldn't see anything. The whole hall was filled with shimmering and shifting light. Then, after that second of disorientation her vision cleared. If it wasn't for the fact that she knew she was supposed to keep moving she would have stopped and gaped. Never before, not in all her years, had she ever seen the hall so beautiful. All around her she could see streamers of silver and green wrapped around the pillars and tables. The ceiling showed that it was snowing outside and enchanted snow fell onto her. Every face was turned to her and the looks of awe and amazement almost made her blush. All she could really focus on was putting one foot before the other. She tried not to walk to fast, instead matching her pace to the music. Now that she was actually there and acting she wasn't nervous. The fears and nerves had all been left at the door. It was with that thought that she finally lifted her eyes to the dais where Dumbledore was waiting. And so was Draco.

Her breath hitched at the sight of him. Draco had always been beautiful but never more so then just then. For the first time ever she saw him with his hair ungelled. His hair fell gently onto his face, framing his sculpted features. He wore a set of dress robes obviously made for him alone. For a second Kat thought she saw movement then realized that there was a dragon pattern on his robes and it was alive. As amazing as it was the dragon wasn't enough to keep her eyes off Draco. Even from a distance she could see his silver eyes glowing. She almost laughed at the stunned look on his face. He resembled a deer stuck in headlights. For the briefest of moments she wondered if she'd have to stomp on his foot like her mother had had to do with her father.

Draco, for his part, was unable to form a coherent thought. He'd seen his mother enter alone and had felt his nervousness grow. Sure, he and Kaitlin had been getting along the past couple days but after all those months of hurt he'd caused her he wouldn't be surprised if she ran. So he was utterly shocked when the door had opened and she'd walked in. That shock had only last a moment before every thought, save one, was driven form his mind. That one thought was, _She's gorgeous._ And she _was_ gorgeous. The white gown accented her moon-pale skin and raven black hair perfectly. He could see the lily he'd designed for her and couldn't help but think it fit her so perfectly. More perfectly then he'd even imagined. Most of all he was stunned by her eyes. They were warm and open, nearly glowing with emerald light. There was no fear, doubts, or regret in them. Just like she'd said she would, she was seeing this through. Now, for the first time ever, Draco wanted to do the same.

Finally reaching the dais, Kaitlin walked up gracefully. She turned to face Draco, not noticing anyone else in the room. Her eyes were for his face alone although she did hear Dumbledore's voice. It was a good thing she already knew what he was going to say because she wasn't paying any attention. Draco was her whole world and somehow she knew she was his. At one point Dumbledore said that Draco had a special vow he wanted to make. Everyone waited in eager tension so they were disappointed when the blonde erected a silencing barrier. Only once he was sure no one else could hear did he lean forward so that his mouth was right next to Kat's. She was expecting him to say something so she was shocked when, instead, he chose to sing.

_When you feel the sunlight_

_Fade into the cold night_

_Don't' know where to turn_

_I don't know where to turn_

_And all the dreams you're dreaming_

_Seem to lose their meaning_

_Let me in your world_

_Baby, let me in your world_

_All you need is someone you can hold_

_Don't be sad, you're not alone_

_I will be here for you_

_Somewhere in the night_

_Somewhere in the night_

_I'll shine a light for you_

_Somewhere in the night_

_I'll be standing by_

_I will be here for you_

_In this world of strangers_

_Of cold, unfriendly faces_

_Someone you can trust_

_Oh there's someone you can trust_

_I will be your shelter_

_I'll give you my shoulder_

_Just reach out for my love_

_Reach out for my love_

_Call my name and my heart will hear you_

_I will be there, there's nothing to fear_

_I will be here for you_

_Somewhere in the night_

_Somewhere in the night_

_I'll shine a light for you_

_Somewhere in the night_

_I'll be standing by_

_I will be here for you_

Draco paused for a moment and felt how tense Kaitlin was. For a moment he wondered if he'd gone to far when he felt her happiness crash around him. His eyes widened in shock before he fell into the feeling. Narcissa had told him about this. She'd said that when he found the one he was meant to be with he'd be able to feel her completely. He'd just never thought it would feel like this.

_I will be here for you_

_Somewhere in the night_

_Somewhere in the night_

_I'll shine a light for you_

_Somewhere in the night_

_I'll be standing by_

_I will be here for you_

_I will be here for_

_You_

Tears fell down Kaitlin's cheeks as Draco finally pulled back. She didn't have a vow to say back but the look in her eyes was all Draco needed. It was without hesitation that the two spoke the words of bonding together. A soft light encased their joined hands and when it faded there was a golden rope tying them to the other. The silencing wall fell and Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Do you, Draconis Lucius Malfoy take Kaitlin Jasmine LeNair as your bonded and your wife?" he asked.

"I do," Draco said firmly, no regret in his eyes.

"Do you, Kaitlin Jasmine LeNair take Draconis Lucius Malfoy as your bonded and your husband?" the headmaster asked. The hall fell silent as everyone, Harry's family in particular, watched in tense silence.

"I do," Kaitlin said strongly, no hesitation in her voice.

"Then I know pronounce you as husband and wife," the ancient wizard said happily. "You may now kiss the bride." With those words Draco leaned forward and claimed Kaitlin's lips as the Hall exploded into cheers. He wasn't sure how everything was going to work out but now he had no doubt that it would.

What no one saw was that, in the shadows of the pillars, a husband and wife watched with teary eyes as the child they never got to see grow up got married.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: ARGH! That was a horrible wedding scene! I may go back and redo this one later. Merlin, I suck at this. Anyway, the song is I will be here for you by Michal W. Smith. It's a good song and I highly recommend it. Actually, I recommend all his songs. On to the reviews._

_Trexie: I'll never get tired of your reviews. You've reviewed every single chapter and I love you for that. Draco and Kat did pretty well in the wedding I think. At least Draco didn't need her to stomp on his foot. Draco won't find out about Kaitlin being Harry until the very end. But yeah. That chapter is going to be very interesting._

_ Stabler 1983: I'm glad you liked the letter. I just thought about what I would write to my daughter if she was going to get married. Not that I really have any room to talk since I'm not married myself but hey. I did my best._

_Kirsten Bradshaw: I'm glad you like it!_

_SunshineAndDaisies: I'm glad you had a good vacation. Everyone seems to like the letter. Guess I did a good job on it._

_Slythindor Hybrid: Here's more. Now you don't have to wait. Unless you want still more in which you'll have to wait until tomorrow._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	22. Beavers are vain

Kaitlin opened her eyes slowly, gradually blinking the sleep out of them. For a moment she wondered where her green curtains had gone before she remembered where she was. It was at that time that she'd feel the arm around her waist and would smile. It had been a week since her wedding and she was getting used to waking up with Draco beside her. The first morning had been hilarious. She'd woken with his arm around her and screamed, trying to get away. That had of course woken Draco and they had both ended up falling out of the bed. It was still a little embarrassing to think about but it was also something to laugh at. A private joke that they now shared.

Hearing a soft whine, Kat looked down at the foot of their bed. Lupus was there, his muzzle on his paws and looking miserable. He really did hate bothering his master when she was comfortable but nature was calling and he didn't have opposable thumbs with which to open the door.

Sighing, the raven nodded and slowly wiggled her way out of Draco's grasp and off the bed. She couldn't help but smile when the blonde frowned in his sleep and reached for her. He managed to grab her pillow and held it close, calming down once more. This just made Kaitlin chuckle and shake her head fondly. The brat was so cute some times.

Moving quietly she motioned for Lupus to follow her. Zareb was already around her throat as they left the bedroom and headed down the hall. Only one portrait was awake and that was of a young Malfoy child. The little girl yawned and waved at Kaitlin as she walked by. The raven just nodded in response before heading down the stairs. It didn't take her long to get to the ground floor and to find the door. Yes, she still got lost on occasion but after making this trip every morning she was used to it.

Letting lupus out, Kat sat on the porch swing, wrapping her light robe a little tighter around her. She let the wind weave itself through her hair as she leaned her head back and relaxed. There were so many thoughts going through her mind just then and she couldn't hold on to a single one. The most common thought was what Voldermort was doing. She hadn't had so much as a twinge from her scar since before the transformation. Could the whole thing have broken her connection with the monster? She hoped so but at the same time she didn't. As much as she hated the visions she saw through his eyes it was still the best way to keep an eye on him. Now she was going around blind and it scared her.

Hearing movement, Kaitlin felt someone sit beside her. When an arm snaked around her shoulders she smiled and leaned into the touch. "You let the bed get cold," Draco said quietly, not wanting to break the stillness of the morning.

"Lupus had to go out," the raven whispered back, letting her eyes close as she breathed in his scent. "If you want me to stay in bed longer you'll have to make a doggy door for him to go through." Draco just grunted and tightened his grip around her. He was still half asleep and now that his wife was at his side once more he was fading back into sleep. The crisp morning air wasn't helping any. It just made him all the more peaceful and thus sleepy. Feeling Kaitlin relax he smiled. Seemed it was having the same affect on her. They were both just about to fade back into sleep when Lupus suddenly jumped in their laps, spraying both of them with snow. Draco actually yelped at the sudden cold, leaping off the swing in shock. Kat just bolted up and stared for a second before bursting into laughs. After a second's hesitation Draco joined in, losing himself in the happiness of the moment. It was hard to remember that he had been against this marriage from the start. He'd only been married a weak and already couldn't imagine his life any other way.

The morning passed by quickly and too soon Draco realized he had to go. His father was holding a family meeting and as the heir to the Malfoy fortune it was required that he be there. Kaitlin had respectfully bowed out, stating that she wasn't socially ready for that sort of crowd. Secretly, Draco agreed. His wife was just a little too blunt and crude for his family to deal with. She was getting better with time but for now he'd leave her be.

Just about to leave, Draco remembered the letter his mother had sent Kaitlin. In a rush he gave it to the raven and kissed her cheek before nearly running to the floo. He was running so far behind and his father would kill him if he was late. So it was with a hasty farewell that he stepped into the floo and disappeared from sight. Kaitlin stared at their fireplace for a moment before chuckling fondly. Her husband was so cute sometimes.

Turning to the letter, the raven opened it quickly; curious about what Narcissa had to say. Turning it over she was surprised when a small silver item fell out. Curious, she picked it up and held it to the light. As soon as it could be identified she gulped. It was a small silver charm and it was of the fourth animal. The beaver.

"Here we go again," she whispered, a little nervous at the sight. Honestly, she didn't even know why she was receiving these things. They just kept popping up and no one was telling her why. Kari seemed to be the only one capable of it and she was keeping silent. So what could it be?

Hoping that maybe there would be an answer, Kaitlin picked up the letter and read it.

_Dearest Kaitlin,_

_A house elf and I were going through some of the boxes we have in storage and I came upon this old charm. At first I thought to throw it away but then, for some reason, I thought of you. It was rather strange really. There was just this overwhelming desire to send it to you. So that's what I did. I hope you don't mind and good luck with it._

_-Narcissa_

Sighing, Kaitlin just picked up the charm and snapped it on to her bracelet. As soon as she did she heard her other charms send their greetings. The otter was playful as always. The falcon gave an aloof cry. The wolf just snorted and she could feel it look away in disinterest. It really didn't like anyway. Then she heard the soft chitters of the beaver and smiled. Seemed like it was happy.

Wondering what the story of the beaver was, Kat hurried up to her personal room. She and Draco both had their own rooms but tended to share the master bedroom. Still, it gave her a place to store her private things like the Ra'Shel book and her word journal. Picking up the book she flipped to the new page and settled down to read the story of the beaver.

_Once upon a time there was a beaver that loved to brag about its tail. It was walking along one day when it saw a bird. "Don't you like my tail?" asked the beaver._

"_Who, yes I do little beaver," replied the bird._

"_Don't you wish your feathers were as fluffy as my tail? Don't you wish your feathers were as strong as my tail? Don't you wish your feathers were just as beautiful as my tail?" the beaver asked._

"_Why do you think so much of your tail, little beaver?" asked the bird. This insulted the beaver and he walked away._

_After walking for a while, he stopped for a drink by the river and saw a muskrat. He walked to the muskrat and said, "Hello little muskrat. What do you think about my tail?"_

"_Well, it is very beautiful and big and fluffy," answered the muskrat. "Is it also a strong tail?"_

"_Why, yes it is," the beaver answered. "Do you wish you had a tail like mine?"_

"_I didn't say I wanted a tail like yours. I just asked if it was strong," the muskrat replied with a disgusted voice._

_The beaver quickly turned and began to walk back to his dam. He was angry because he felt that the animals were being rude to him. He was very upset and decided to take out his frustration by cutting down trees. After cutting down a couple of trees, he came to a very large one. He knew that it would be a great challenge for him. So he went to it. But as he was cutting, he kept thinking about his tail and didn't notice that he was cutting at a bad angle. Before he knew what was happening, the tree began to fall toward him. He jumped to get out of the way, but he didn't jump fast enough, and the huge tree fell on his beautiful tail! He tugged and pulled and finally dug away the earth to free himself. When he finally pulled his tail from under the tree, he was horrified to see that it was flat. The beaver was very sad and started to cry. As he was crying he heard a voice. It was the Creator._

"_Why are you crying?" asked the Creator._

"_A tree has crushed my beautiful tail," the beaver cried. "Now no one will like me."_

_The Creator told him that a beaver is not liked for his tail but for his kindness and wisdom. He also told him how to use his flat tail. "Now your tail will help you swim rapidly," the Creator said. And when you want to signal a message to a friend, all you have to do is slap your tail on the water."_

_Hearing this made the beaver happy again. When the animals saw his flattened tail they were shocked! But the beaver said, "Its better this way." From that day on, the beaver never bragged about his tail, and all the animals liked him._

"I like the beaver," Kaitlin said to no one. He reminded her of herself quite a bit. She had always focused on and praised one part of her being, thinking that that was the part people would like. Now that she didn't have that anymore she found more people liking her for being herself. It made her feel better and she was sure the beaver agreed with her.

Putting the book down, Kat stretched before grabbing a quill and some paper. She wrote a quick letter to Sirius, updating him on her life, before sending it off with a common postal owl. Once that was done all she had left to do was sit and wait for Draco to return. She knew it wouldn't be long. He always made sure to return to her as quickly as possible. So it was no shock when, an hour later, she heard the floo flare and he called out her name. "I'm in the den," she called back, not about to get up off her couch. It was far too comfortable. Still, when the door opened she didn't expect what happened. A very tiny puppy stumbled in, still not sure about walking. The second it saw her it yipped and tried to run over but ended up tripping and skidding the last couple feet. Laughing, Kat just leaned down and picked the puppy up. Draco came in at that moment, a smile on his face.

"Like her?" he asked. Kaitlin could only nod as the puppy proceeded to lick her face. "My aunt breeds Yorkshire terriers. Her best bitch whelped a little over two months ago and this is the runt of the litter. She was too small to sell or give away but my aunt didn't want her anymore. So she gave the fuzz ball to me to give to you. Do you want her?"

"Is it possible to say no?" Kat had to ask as the puppy decided to lick the inside of her ear. Already the teen girl had been reduced to an overgrown, laughing child and she loved it. So was Draco actually. He liked it when his wife got a chance to act childish. It was such a rare sight. He suddenly realized he was content to live the rest of his life just like that. Sitting and watching his wife laugh. Strange how quickly things could change. The happy couple played with both puppies, Yorky and wolf, for the rest of the day. Neither knew that a dark storm was approaching and would break over their heads any second now.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: So how was it? I'm thinking of putting the wedding night scene in as a stand alone chapter. You know what I mean, right? You better. Anyway, just a quick little note. That blasted puppy I added in? The Yorky. It's real. I just bought it for my mom yesterday. Her name is Misty Mine and she is such an energetic fuzz ball. She's also getting very annoying. But yeah, on to the reviews!_

_ Stabler 1983: I didn't write that song. It's sung by Michal W. Smith. He's a really good singer. And yeah, I wanted her parents there to see it._

_Karone-sakura: Apparently everyone likes the wedding but me. So I'll leave it. I might just write a whole separate chapter of it redone and put it up apart from this. Ciao._

_Hostage: Alright, I won't change the wedding. I'm glad you liked the song though. It was so hard to find the song for them._

_Trexie: Yes, it was her parents in the shadows. They wouldn't miss their child's wedding. And alright already! I won't change the wedding scene. I guess you have a point; so many go a little overboard on the wedding scenes. Mine's sort of simple but that's what awesome about it._

_SunshineAndDaisies: I now officially retract any criticism I may have made about the wedding scene. Now will you all get off my back? Lol, jk. But seriously, I didn't think so many would like it. Guess I was wrong._

_Slythindor Hybrid: You'll be getting more for a while yet. This story has a long way to go._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	23. Q is for quit

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring…if you didn't count the Yorky puppy that was tearing around the place and the raven haired girl chasing after it. Lupus just watched the two with bored eyes. His master had been chasing that little rat posing as a dog around for hours. Eventually one of them would get too tired to run anymore but which one would go first?

Just then the bell in the den chimed, signaling the arrival of his master's mate. The pup lifted his head for a second to yip as the boy came out of the room but otherwise didn't move. He was just too lazy to care just then.

Draco stared at the scene for a moment, trying to take it in. There was Lupus, lying on the couch with a bored look on his face. There was Misty, the smaller puppy, tearing around the area like a whirlwind. And there was his wife, chasing after the puppy with a look of hopelessness on her face. All in all, not the strangest homecoming he'd ever had but certainly one of the top five.

Just then Misty noticed he was back. Next thing he knew Draco was being tackled by a four inch tall, 15 oz. puppy. The shock was enough to make him stumble back before he caught himself. As soon as he did he had to laugh. One was never sure what this puppy was going to do.

Tiredly, Kaitlin walked over, an amused look on her face. She smiled when Draco looked at her but he could tell something was wrong. There was something missing in her smile.

"What's wrong?" he asked, setting Misty down. He frowned when Kat just shook her head and tried to smile again.

"Nothing's wrong," she hedged but knew he didn't believe her. Really, it was a pathetic lie. Anyone would have been able to see through it. So why she even bothered was a mystery. Instead of waiting for his certain follow-up question Kaitlin ducked into the den. Instantly she smiled and relaxed. The tree was lit up and the lights shimmered from the various candles around the room. It had taken her and Draco days to finish everything but it had been so much fun. She would be sad to see it go.

Draco followed her, gently nudging Misty out of the room. He'd been married to Kaitlin for near bouts two weeks and he still knew so little about her. She was amazingly tight lipped about her past and family. His mother had warned him that the LeNair's could be like that but he hadn't expected the magnitude of her responses. Really, it made him wonder if he should be worried. But this wasn't the time to be thinking those thoughts. All that mattered just then was figuring out what was bothering his wife.

"Want to tell me what's wrong or should we play verbal fencing for a while first?" he drawled, draping himself over the couch. He heard her answering snort but she still wouldn't look at him. Her eyes seemed faraway for a moment before she sighed.

"I was so different before," she whispered. The crackle of the fire nearly drowned her out but Draco was listening closely. "Not just before the wedding. Before this whole sarded school year. You wouldn't recognize me if you knew who I was. And now I look at my dearest friends and they're exactly the same. Oh, they've grown up with me yeah but they're still the same person they were when I met them. Which makes me wonder, how did I change so much? Most of all though…I wonder if I'm like the old me at all. Who am I supposed to be now if I can't be who I was?" At that she looked over at Draco, a question burning in her eyes.

Sighing, Draco leaned back into the couch and watched the fire for a minute. Finally, he shook his head. "I can't answer that," he told her sadly. "I've also changed so much from who I was. Things happened over the summer that…made me wonder just who Draco Malfoy was." He leaned his head back, lost in his memories. "You know, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Potter had come back this year. I was such an evil prat to him in the past. Now I've changed and I wonder if he would recognize me. Of course, the one time I actually want to see him the git goes away to do something else. Still, I can't help but wonder."

Nodding, Kat let her own eyes wander to the flames. She probably wouldn't have recognized Draco that year. Not in terms of looks obviously. He still looked to distinctive to forget. But personality wise, he was so different. Was that good or bad? Well, it had better by good since she'd married him.

"I didn't have much of a childhood," she said suddenly, catching Draco's attention. "My family was rather hostile towards me and made my life miserable. I saw the wizarding world as an escape. Instead it's just become a larger and fancier cage. People expect me to do things and match levels that they choose and then get mad when I can't. Sort of makes me miss my family. At least they just ignored me." Her voice changed, growing more serious. "Yet I can't imagine how life was for you. Having everyone believe you'll do this or be that and then having so hard to prove them wrong. That's bad enough but its worse that you grew up with it. How do you handle that sort of pressure?"

"Not very well, when I was younger," Draco admitted with a wane smile. "I took out my anger and frustration on everyone else. Soon I just started accusing everyone of being beneath me. It was a lie but one that made me feel better. After all, if they were beneath me then their words couldn't hurt me. As time went on I just learned to ignore the rest of the world. All that mattered was what my parents and I believed. If they were proud of me then everything was perfect. I didn't need to impress anyone else in the world."

Kaitlin noticed the frown on his face as Draco said that. Her heart sank as she guessed what he meant. Still, she had to check.

"Something changed?" she asked quietly. For a moment she was afraid her husband wouldn't answer but he finally sighed and nodded jerkily.

"Yeah, something changed. A new person walked into my life. Harry bloody Potter. I'd grown up with stories about him. One would think that I'd heard only nasty things. After all, my parents are both Deatheaters. But they're reluctant Deatheaters. The only reason they joined Voldermort is because my grandfather and grandmother made them. Really, they always regarded Harry as their own savior. Anyway, point is, he was always my hero. Hell, he'd saved my parents; how could he not be my hero. Then, after ten freaking years of wanting to meet him I finally do. And what happens? He rejects my friendship without even considering it."

Kaitlin winced at the brokenness in Draco's voice. She hadn't realized just how much she'd hurt him so long ago. Really, she couldn't even remember why she'd rejected him. Something small and petty.

"You want to know the hardest part?" Draco suddenly asked, making Kat jump. "The git rejected me and yet I still wanted to impress him. All I wanted was for him to look at me just once and be at least content with what I did. Merlin knows I had my chances. First that detention in the Forbidden Forrest. That would have worked if it hadn't been for my bloody paranoia." He'd already told Kaitlin about how Malfoy's were bred to be cowards. It didn't stop her second flinch though. "Then second year I became a Seeker just like him. Didn't matter; I couldn't even keep up with him. Third year and the hippogriff failed miserably. Fourth year he was always surrounded by people I didn't even get a chance to try. Fifth year Dolores ruined everything and sixth year he was to busy running around with Dumbledore. Now its seventh year and he doesn't even show up. Guess I'll never get his attention."

Silence fell between the two as the fire danced before them. Kaitlin finally shifted so that she was lying against her husband, her head tucked under his chin. "If you could tell Harry anything, what would you say?" she asked. She could hear Draco hum for a second before he chuckled.

"I'd say I was sorry, he was cool, I still wanted to be his friend, and for Merlin's sake he needs to get someone to tame that hair of his."

Kat laughed with him, wryly remembering how her hair had been. Thank any deity listening that it wasn't like that now. There was no way she'd survive hair this long and that wild.

"I think Harry Potter would be a fool not to be friends with you now," she told him, snuggling closer to him. It was the first time that she realized just how miserable Harry had made people. She griped and growled about the teachers being biased but really, had she been much different? Why had she hated Draco? Because he was a Slytherin and the son of Deatheaters. Why did she hate Slytherin? Because Voldermort had been a Slytherin. No other reasons. Certainly no good ones. Just her being a biased prick. But that was going to change now. No matter who she met anymore she'd get to know them before she judged them. She wouldn't reject another hand of friendship without knowing the person who extended that hand.

"Let's not give up," Draco suddenly said, his silver eyes meeting her emerald ones. "Neither of us knows who we are anymore but let's promise each other not to give up. We'll either find who we are now or change into someone still newer. That's how life is and we just can't give up."

Smiling, Kaitlin nodded before pulling herself up and kissing him on the lips. She felt him press into her and was just starting to wonder if things were going to get heated when the clock chimed midnight. They pulled apart in surprise before Draco chuckled. "Happy Christmas," he told her before leaning down to bite her neck. She groaned in pleasure before her eyes caught something. Surprised, she sat up more, making Draco whine.

"Draco?" she said quietly. "Were there that many presents under the tree a minute ago?" Confused, Draco looked himself. Where before there had been only a couple, the majority being at his parent's home, there were now heaps. How had that happened? He couldn't even blame the elves because there weren't any presents for the elves to use. That left him with a mystery.

Suddenly, Kaitlin gasped and shot up. She was up and out of the room before Draco realized she had moved. Growling, he went after her. By the time he caught up she was outside, surrounded by falling snow and gazing up. He opened his mouth to berate her when a gentle jingle caught his ear. Startled, he turned around and his jaw dropped.

There, on the roof of the house, stood a sleigh. Eight reindeer were hooked to it and they were pawing the ground eagerly, the bells of their harnesses jingling softly in the air. And there, sitting in the sleigh, was an old fat man. He didn't say anything, just smiled and waved at the shocked blonde on the ground. Then he bent over and pulled something from the bag at his feet. With practiced ease he tossed them a small box which Kaitlin caught easily. She opened it slowly and gasped at the contents. It was a small silver frame that held a picture of her and Draco. In the photo she was sitting in his lap and they were laughing as snow fell all around them. It was so simple but that's where its perfection came from.

A sudden crack of leather made her look up again. She was just in time to see the sleigh lift off into the sky. It was with misty eyes that she watched them fly away. Draco's arms were around her as a cheerful voice floated back to them.

"Merry Christmas to all! And to all a goodnight!"

-{-

Misty watched curiously as the book before her suddenly had words appear on its pages.

_Quit_

_You showed me that I shouldn't QUIT._

Defeat doesn't finish a man, **quitting** does. A man is not finished when he's defeated. He's finished when he quits. - Richard M. Nixon

How odd. Wonder why it did that.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: I'm going to kill the real Misty. She is seriously getting on my nerves now. I can't walk into the bloody room without her going spastic! And then mom gets mad at me for winding her up when it was my mom who told me to come out in the first place! ARGH! Also, yes I realize it's no where near Christmas but I wanted to write this scene anyway. Hope you all liked it. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Adorable is good, right? Hmm…never heard of Beaver Tails. Should I try them? And what are they exactly?_

_Relocated author: Yeah, I thought that part would be cute. Funny is a good reaction too._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Thanks. They are getting along rather well now, aren't they? Hmm…maybe I should tweak that. (Looks over plans for future chapters) Nah, there's enough angst in the future chapters to tide me over. I'll leave them alone for now._

_ Stabler 1983: Draco has matured a bit I guess. He's still got a ways to go but he's getting there. And yes, a second puppy. I'll just try not to kill her off like I'm trying to kill the real one._

_Tricorvus: I'm glad you think I'm doing so well. It's always good to hear someone likes how I do things._

_Kirsten Bradshaw: I've only been to one and that was my cousin's. It just felt like I couldn't get all the emotions that Kat must have felt down in writing. That's why I hated it so much._

_Inats92: Thanks you very much. I try to update regularly so you shouldn't ever have to wait to long._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	24. R is for Remember

Laughing, Kaitlin ducked yet another snowball. This was turning into quite the fight. She'd been running and hiding for the past two hours, trying to keep ahead of her opponent. Sure, a couple times the odd lucky throw would graze her but nothing to bad. It wasn't like she was covered in snow like he was. The only truly odd thing about the situation was that 'he' wasn't Sirius or Remus. 'He' wasn't even Ron. No, 'he' was Draco Malfoy. And it had actually been his idea to have a snowball fight that morning. It had been the perfect ending to a perfect morning.

Really, she'd been surprised how well everything had gone. She and Draco had risen early despite their late bedtime. The git was nearly bouncing with joy as they packed up the presents to go to his parents. He'd even managed to make her laugh by forgetting that the door was closed and walking right into it. Oh sure, he'd been mad at her for laughing but how could she not? How often was it that one saw Draco Malfoy run full force into a closed door? Not very often.

Of course, upon reaching the manor Kat's good mood had vanished. She loved Narcissa dearly and was already well on her way to truly loving Draco but his father was another matter. The past between her and Lucius was far more bitter and dangerous then her past with Draco. Hell, the worst that had happened between her and Draco was a few simple hexes and curses. Well, okay, throwing the Sectumserpa curse at him wasn't exactly simple. But hey! It wasn't like she'd meant to try and kill him! Lucius however had consciously tried to kill her many times. She couldn't just forget that.

Or at least she thought she couldn't. That thought faded as soon as Lucius swept Draco up in a hug. It faded altogether when she saw their smiles. Really, it reminded her of her reunions with Sirius. The same love, devotion, and trust. For the first time she realized that if Narcissa and Draco were so good inside then it would have been absurd if Lucius hadn't been.

Still, when Lucius turned to her she'd instantly stiffened. Sometimes she still forgot that she wasn't a guy anymore. There were times she was positive someone would know who she was. That was mostly Kari's fault. Picking out her true identity so early had sort of shot Kat's confidence to bits. Nevertheless, Lucius just smiled and offered her a hand. "Welcome to the manor and the family," he told her warmly. There was such sincerity in his face and voice the raven couldn't help but relax. It was with ease and trust that she took his hand. She even kissed it lightly, somehow knowing it was supposed to happen. However, she didn't miss her husband's sigh of relief and shot him a glare that made him wince. Luckily his father only laughed and gestured for them all to come in.

The morning had gone by in a blur from that point. Kat had been utterly shocked at the mountain of presents under the tree. What shocked her even more was that so many seemed to be for her. Sure, she was expecting the odd gift from Draco but it had never occurred to her that Narcissa and Lucius would also buy her gifts. Yes, plural. There were even presents from her friends in Slytherin. All in all, Kaitlin received more presents on that one day then she had her entire life. All of them from Slytherin's. The thought made her want to cry but whether in hilarity or despair she didn't know.

After all the gifts were opened the four sat down to a very hearty but simple brunch. Kat did her husband proud by using all the right utensils and maintaining her table manners. One would have never guessed that she hadn't been raised that way. Really, in hindsight, that was very good since the LeNair's were pureblood's as well. It was probably expected that she knew these things.

After brunch there were still a few hours before she was to leave for her family's Christmas party. Draco had assured her he would be fine with his parents before challenging her to a snowball fight. She'd been about to refuse, she was freezing, but then he'd given her that smirk of his and drawled, "Unless you're scared." She'd scooped up some snow and nailed him in the face so fast he didn't see it coming. Female she may have been but her heart was still very much Harry Potter and he did _not_ like to be challenged. So the snow wars had begun and were still going strong two hours later. Narcissa and Lucius watched them from the warmth of the manor, smiling as they watched Draco laugh. It was a sight they had been sure was lost to them. If this girl could bring out his laugh again that was all they'd ask.

Ducking yet another snowball Kaitlin was about to make a break for the trees when she was suddenly tackled. Screaming in laughter, she fell into the snow, Draco on top of her. He was covered in snow from all her well aimed snowballs but he'd never looked more gorgeous to her. His hair was all mussed up, swaying everywhere and his eyes were no longer hard silver but more like liquid mercury. Most important of all though was that he had a true smile on his face. Not the fake one's she'd seen most of the time she'd known him. The one he's started letting her see once they'd gotten engaged. Well, maybe engaged was the wrong word.

"I win," he laughed, leaning down to kiss her nose. Instantly she wrinkled up her nose, making him laugh. He knew she hated it when he did that. That's why it was so much fun to do it. Of course, he'd forgotten just how strong she was. He remembered when she suddenly rolled, throwing him off. It wasn't even a second later that their positions were reversed with her on top. The main difference was that she was actually balanced and braced should he decide to move.

"You don't win until your opponent is truly defeated," she told him, laughing at his frown. Her blonde truly did hate being beaten. That's why she loved it whenever she managed to win.

"Aren't you two cold yet?" Surprised, the two teens turned to see a bundled up Lucius standing nearby. He was smiling gently at them, telling them they weren't in trouble. "You've been out here for hours and are both soaked. Come inside and get warm. We don't want to send Kaitlin off to her family with a cold." Draco instantly sobered up and nodded, nudging for Kat to get off. She did so reluctantly. Now that Lucius mentioned it she was freezing! It was almost to the point that all she wanted to do was cuddle against Draco cause that meant heat. Slight heat yes but heat.

Seeming to know what she was thinking, Lucius removed his cloak and quickly draped it over them both once they'd stood. This forced them to hold each other close as they walked but that was no hardship. Inside Narcissa waited for them both, cups of hot chocolate sitting beside her and a place right before the roaring hearth for them to cuddle up on. Of course, first they both charmed their clothes and selves dry before settling before the fire. An easy silence fell upon the four before Kaitlin stirred slightly. It was past time that she had a questioned answered.

"What do you all think of Harry Potter?" she asked. Instantly all three Malfoy's stiffened and Draco sent her a pleading look but she wouldn't back down. She pretended not to see the look and continued. "Kari told me a little about him. He was supposed to have defeated some dark wizard at the age of one, right? Then he disappeared only to show up again at the age of eleven. That's all she'll tell me. But the people at Hogwarts talk about him all the time. There's so many rumors and hearsay that I can't tell what's true. So could you tell me what you all think of him?" There, a rather innocent question and a good reason to ask it. Surely she wouldn't get in to much trouble for that. But how would they answer? That was the question she needed answered.

"Harry Potter," Lucius finally sighed, "is an enigma. By all rights we should hate him and everything he loves. After all, he defeated the Dark Lord who was a source of great power. However, in reality it was Potter who saved us all. He gave a way out to those who really didn't want to be with the Dark Lord and opened the eyes of most who still believed. It was no wonder he went to Gryffindor. His heart is too pure and brave to go elsewhere."

"It hurts us to hurt him," Draco said quietly, watching the flames. "Every time I yell at him or curse him I want to cry. He's a great man and a great wizard. He saves people not because people think he should but because he thinks its right. Sure, that makes him easy to manipulate him but everyone has their faults. Really, that part of him makes him so wonderful."

"Anyone who can survive my brother is a saint," Narcissa said with a small smile. She didn't notice when Kat grinned wryly. "He does more then that. He actually loves the idiot and helps him. No one else would have stood behind Sirius so completely. I'll owe him forever for that. Actually I owe him so many personal debts it's a little worrying. However, beyond that Draco is right. He tries so hard to save all he can. Even when they don't want to be saved." The three Malfoy's chuckled darkly, making Kat tilt her head in confusion. Had she ever accidentally saved them all when they hadn't wanted her to? She couldn't think of a time.

"He sounds amazing," was all she could say in the end. Really, she'd been expecting a lot but that was not it. There hadn't been a single bad word against her. That just wasn't something one expected from a family of Deatheater's.

"It's almost time for you to go," Draco said sadly. He didn't like the idea of his wife being gone for the last week of vacation. He'd told her the truth; he didn't mind being with his parents for a week. He did mind her not being there. But her longing for her family was so keen he almost felt it himself. There was no way he could deny the time with them. So, like a dutiful husband, he sacrificed his own wants and helped her get her things ready for a floo trip. Finally he left her alone in a room, the word journal in her hands. She took a quiet breath before opening it, ready to face the new word.

_Remember_

_You REMEMBERED me and all that I was,_ she wrote slowly, thinking of the conversation she'd just had. They'd hadn't remembered just parts of her. They'd remembered it all. If they could then surely she could as well.

When befriended, **remember** it; when you befriend, forget it. -Benjamin Franklin, the book told her.

"I'm sure there's logic in there somewhere," she muttered, frowning at the quote. Really, she sometimes hated quotes by Benjamin Franklin. Sometimes he spoke in more riddles then Dumbledore. Sighing, she closed the book and stood to leave when the door flew open again. Draco stood there, his eyes wide in fear.

"Voldermort is coming. Now."

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Sorry for the late update. My old school screwed me over last year and I just found out that I need to redo two years. That's right folks! Because of some idiots on the school board I need to repeat all of my 11th__ and 12__th__ grade years. And I can't just get a GED because at the moment the army is not accepting those. I get a GED=I don't get in the army. I get in the army=I redo two freaking years of school. Some choice. So now I'm running around trying to get registered and everything. And my classes will start on the 4__th__ of August. Merlin, I hate my life. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: I'm glad adorable is good. Normally I don't do adorable but this story is writing itself so I claim no part of it. Ah…I may not get to try Beaver Tails for a long time. I live in Colorado; no where near the Canadian border. Umm…Draco was only SLIGHTLY arrogant? What do you call very arrogant?_

_Relocated author: Sorry, no where near Christmas. I just felt like writing it. Lol, but I wish it was Christmas. After all, Christmas means snow._

_Blackrose-you touch you die: I'm glad you liked that part._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Eh, the expressed some of their different feelings. There's still a ways to go._

_Slythindor Hybrid: Once again, I'm glad._

_Kirsten Bradshaw: Nah, it wouldn't be any fun for Kat to spill right now. After all, she's not pregnant yet. :P_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	25. S is for Sadness

The patter of the rain on the window filled the room. There wasn't really much there to muffle the noise. A desk, a few chairs, a badly melted caldron. And Kaitlin. Couldn't forget her. Of course, that was exactly what she wanted. To forget and to be forgotten. Maybe then the world would finally be set to rights. Wouldn't that be perfect? Just one death and everything would be fine.

Of course, life didn't work that way. One death would not be enough to save the world. It didn't matter who died; it wouldn't be enough. It would never be enough. The human race could be killed off to the very last and it still wouldn't be enough. So what was one more death?

Blinking slowly, she looked at the blade in her hands. It was pretty small. Not even as long as her arm. But it was sharp. It had better be; she'd spent hours sharpening it. Now it just glinted at her in the candlelight. So innocent right then. There was nothing wrong with it. Really, it could have been as simple as a letter opener. She wondered what it would look like once it was stained in her blood. Would it be so innocent then? Would it seem so commonplace?

Sighing, the raven turned her face back to the window. Her unseeing eyes gazed out at the quiditch pitch. She could still remember what had happened only a couple days before. After Draco had given her the news they were both rushed back to Hogwarts for protection. Meanwhile the rest of the student body was banned from the school with the exception of certain ones. Students that, like her, were in more danger out there then in the castle. Ron and Hermione were part of that group. They'd both tried really hard to see Kaitlin but the raven was avoiding everyone. Including Draco which her husband was far from happy about. He never showed he was upset but his eyes were hurting more each time she walked away from him.

"Why can't he figure it out?" Kat whispered to the room in a broken voice. "How long will it take him to see that he's better off without me? The world is better off without me. They don't need someone whose only accomplishment in life is surviving a stupid curse. At the very least I could have killed him then with the rebound. But no. Not only do I fail that time but I've failed every time since then. How many people have died because I failed?"

Leaning back, she stared at the ceiling for a moment. It was dusty, a rare thing for a ceiling, and pitched rather strangely. All other ceilings were flat but this one undulated. It looked more like hills and valleys. For a moment Kat managed to lose herself in the strange dips and bulges. Was it a map? A message? Why did she care?

Another sigh escaped her lips as the girl slowly stood, the knife still in her hands. Her dull green eyes glanced outside one last time before leaving the room. The hallways were unusually quiet as she walked through. Of course, that tended to happen when there were only seventy three people in the whole castle. Still, even the portraits were quiet. They weren't even whispering to each other like they normally did. It felt like the whole castle was holding its breath, waiting. Waiting for Harry Potter to save the day just like he was supposed to. The only problem was that Harry Potter didn't exist anymore. Kaitlin Malfoy did. And she had her own problems.

Ignoring the rain, Kat stepped outside. She couldn't feel the cold drops of water that fell against her as she walked along slowly. There wasn't really a destination in mind as she walked. Just so long as she kept moving then everything would be fine. Movement kept her thoughts at bay and it was her thoughts that were causing her pain just then. But after a while even walking wasn't enough. The thoughts invaded her mind once more and she was powerless to stop them.

Why had Voldermort chosen her? Why not Longbottom? Although, as much as she loved Neville the world would have ended if Voldermort had chosen him. That would have been better. Living with only a shred of hope was torture. Everyone was so busy looking to the future they couldn't focus on the present or learn from the past. But who was she to talk? She'd been the same.

Looking around, Kat realized that the storm had grown fiercer. The rain was lashing at everything but she was to numb to feel it. She couldn't even hear it because she was so used to the roar. A sudden feeling stirred within her. It reminded her of the few times in her life that she'd had power over something. Like that time she'd used magic on purpose for the first time. Or that first time she'd flown. But it was slightly different this time. Power, but not within her. It was all around her, charging the very air she breathed. Was it the product of the storm?

A cruel smile spread across her face, her eyes darkening. She suddenly threw back her head and laughed, spreading her arms out wide. There was something intoxicating about this. Standing in the middle of a field during a raging storm. It made her feel more alive then she'd ever been and yet more detached. Like nothing mattered anymore. Which, really, nothing did. Voldermort would come and they would fight. One would fall, the other would live. Well, maybe. But there was no chance they'd both walk out alive. That just wasn't possible.

The glint of the knife caught her eye again and Kat looked down at it. How easy would it be just to slash open her wrist? Pomfrey had told her about wounds even magic could not heal. A slit wrist was one of many. It would be so easy to end it all. Just one cut. That's all. She wouldn't even feel it in this rain. No, all she'd feel was the relief. So why wasn't she doing it?

"Shouldn't you come in?"

Surprised, Kat turned around. Draco was standing behind her, his hands in his pockets. His face was neutral as he watched her. He'd die before he said it but seeing her now was scaring him. She looked like she had nothing left to live for; nothing left to lose. Her eyes were so dead they might as well have been the emeralds he'd always compared them to. Beautiful and valuable but cold and dead. She wasn't supposed to look like that.

"I'll be fine," she said dully, looking away from him. She really did prefer being alone right then. Which is why she jumped when he grabbed her arm. He spun her around angrily, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her.

"You're not fine!" he yelled, the pain clear through the rain. "You're standing in the middle of the worst storm Hogwarts has ever seen with a knife in your hands so you are in no way fine. Please, I know you're scared. Hell, I'm scared. Anyone with any sense is scared. But do you see anyone else out here, traipsing around, waiting to get struck by lightening? No! We're all doing our best to be ready for when his Hissness comes." His eyes softened, showing the pain he felt clearly. "Don't shut me out, not now. We managed to survive two months of me being a bastard; this can't end here. Not this way. You're my wife. I want to help you but how can I when you won't tell me what's wrong?"

Kat pulled out of his grip but didn't turn away. Instead she stared into his eyes for a moment longer before falling against him. Just like she knew he would, Draco caught her and swept her into his arms. She didn't cry as he carried her back to the castle. Honestly, she was to cold and tired to cry. But she did start shaking once they were inside once more. The heat made her feel even colder, making her shiver and her teeth chatter. Draco didn't say a thing, just hurried his pace to the common room. Once there he snagged a random blanket before curling up with her in his chair. It was then that she started to cry. Despite her best intention her muffled tears become fully body shaking sobs. Her blonde didn't say anything; he just held her tighter. It hurt that she wouldn't talk to him but she was letting him hold her. That would be enough for now.

Draco was long asleep when Kaitlin finally stirred. She smiled tiredly at his peaceful face before slipping from the chair. Without really thinking she tucked him back in before going up the stairs to her room. Upon entering she snuck past a sleeping Pansy. Vaguely she remembered Dumbledore saying that a lot of Deatheater children had fled back to Hogwarts. How had she not noticed her friend's arrival though?

Lupus and Zareb were no where to be seen as Kat crawled on her bed and she knew Misty was with Draco in the commons. So it was with no reservation that she pulled the knife out once more. A slight press was all she needed for a line of red to appear on her wrist. She watched dully as a small line of blood went down her wrist. There was still no pain to be felt but she was still rather numb inside.

Seeing the crimson blood so clear against her pale skin Kaitlin placed the knife against her wrist again. One more slice, a little deeper, and it was done. So when a couple minutes passed and she realized that she hadn't moved the raven smiled bitterly. Seemed she was incapable of offing herself. Had to be that damn Hero complex Hermione said she had.

A final sigh escaped her mouth as Kat allowed herself to fall back onto her bed. She stared at the ceiling for a while before lethargically rolling over and grabbing her word journal. There was no real interest in it anymore but it gave her something to focus on and that had to count for something. So in bored resignation she opened the covers.

_Sadness_

What was she to write? There were so many ways she could use that word just then. Sadness was her whole life. Well, with the exception of certain people. Mostly Draco. He always managed to pull her back before the sadness got to be too much. Sort of like she was drowning and he kept bringing her up for air. It wasn't his fault she kept going back under. He was really trying to keep her afloat. She just wasn't swimming.

_You bring me through the SADNESS,_ "Draco," she whispered. She must have closed her eyes at one point because when she looked again the book had already given her its reply.

The walls we build around us to keep **sadness** out also keep out joy. -Jim Rohn

Reading the quote again, Kaitlin leaned back against her pillows. The words swirled around in her mind, finally breaking through her thoughts. Draco was right; she'd been shutting him out. In order to avoid feeling more pain and sadness she's kicked everyone and everything out of her heart. But in reality the only way she could manage the sadness in her heart was to let everyone and everything back in. It was a daunting idea but so simple. So…right.

For the first time in days Kat smiled. It was a small smile, hardly even worth being called a smile, but it was there. Feeling a sudden surge of mischievousness, she got up to do something. She paused only long enough to put her hand gently against her stomach. Should she tell Draco she was pregnant? No, he had enough to worry about. It didn't matter anyway. She wasn't going to survive the Final Battle; that was a given. No sense letting him know he'd lost two loves instead of just one.

Determined to shove the sad thoughts away, Kat took a running leap at Pansy's bed. She just happened to forget that Pansy was in it. As it were Draco was woken by an enraged scream of, "KAT! YOU ARE SO DEAD!" He thought about intervening but chose not to when he heard his wife's laughter. If it made her happy then he'd leave her be.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Whoo, that was actually hard to write. Rather depressing too. Gah! I hate this story. It's no where near as easy as my FFVII stories are to write. Maybe because this one is Harry Potter instead. I don't know. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Lol, if I'm ever up there I'll do that. Who knows, maybe the army will station me near the border. That would be cool. Uh…no, I've never seen Top Gun. I'm not much of a movie person. What's it about?_

_Relocated author: My life is horribly suck-ish and busy. But I still try._

_SunshineAndDaisies: She doesn't react very well but I think it will get better. At least, it better._

_ Stabler 1983: Thank you._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	26. Deer are confusing

Smirking, Kaitlin waited for Blaise to pass her yet again before slipping out of her hiding place. It had been three days since her return from depression and though she was still occasionally sad everyone was pleased with her progress. Draco most of all. He would never admit it but he'd been lost without her. She was such a major part of his life now that he couldn't function without her. The very idea of leaving her after a year caused him real pain. His mother assured him that was normal but it still bothered him. Especially since Kaitlin said that it wasn't so bad for her. She didn't want to leave him but thought she could if she had to.

And there she went again, thinking pessimistically once more.

Sobering up, Kat refocused on what she was supposed to be doing. She'd had enough of sneaking and hiding between her and Kari. That girl was the only one who could answer the raven's questions. So Kat had decided that she wouldn't rest until she found her. Of course, that meant leaving the castle. Zabini had been given orders not to let her leave the dungeon so she'd had to persuade him. She snickered darkly. Okay, so obliterating his clothes and turning his voice into a female one was a bit of overkill. At least it made her laugh. Now she just had to avoid the enraged boy. That wasn't proving too hard.

She'd been wandering the grounds outside for about an hour by then, trying to figure out how to find Kari. The git had always shown up whenever she wasn't wanted but how to find her on purpose? That was proving much more challenging then previously thought. It was also getting rather dangerous. Deatheaters had been spotted in the Forbidden forest and anyone wandering about was fair game. If she didn't come up with something soon she'd have to give up. But she couldn't do that either!

Finally desperate enough, Kat looked around tensely. The pitch wasn't far so she raced over. Once she was secluded under the stands she closed her eyes. No one knew she could do this spell. Not even Sirius despite his being a nosy busybody. She'd just read it randomly in the library and decided to try it. It had come naturally to her, almost too easily. Despite that it was still a last resort for her. She didn't have enough training to feel comfortable using the spell at will.

It took a moment but she felt her bones begin to shift. Only a few seconds past before she opened her eyes again and shook her head. Stretching her legs she let her magic course through her new body. Everything was as it should be so she snorted, stamping her delicate hooves. Gracefully she loped out of the stands, her thoughts going a little fuzzy. It always happened right after she changed. Her thoughts would try to become those of the doe she appeared to be. All she had to do was hold on to her human thoughts and the feeling would pass. Once it had she bounded into the forest.

When the underbrush got to thick she slowed down, weaving peacefully through. Her ears were constantly moving, listening for sounds of enemies. There were many creatures in the forest that wouldn't hesitate to kill her. Most deer had fled centuries ago, leaving only the magical ones behind. If a normal creature were to see her there would be little to no repercussions. If one serving Voldemort saw her there would be hell to pay.

Hearing the gurgle of a stream, Kat deviated towards it. There was no need to go on without water. Actually, that was a very bad idea. She'd been neglecting the nutritional part of her life for the past week and that couldn't continue. After all, there was another life now depending on her. Reaching the stream, she lowered her graceful head and drank. Her whole body was poised for flight, should it be needed. So far nothing but she couldn't afford to relax. Just then her left ear twitched. She heard footsteps, slow and human. What was a human doing this deep in the forest? Unless it was a Deatheater. Snapping her head up the doe looked around warily. At first she couldn't see anything but then she noticed a flash of silver where it shouldn't be. No sooner did she see it that she saw what it was attached to. She gave the deer's version of a growl as the person smiled at her.

"Hello Harry," Kari greeted, smirking. "I see you mastered the lesser Animungus spell. Congrats. Now what are you doing out here?" Grumbling, Kat closed her eyes and focused until she was human once more.

"I need answers," she said bluntly. "Who are you, what are you doing here, what will happen, why are you even here-"

"One at a time," Kari interrupted, putting her hands up. "Even though I can't answer any of those questions anyway at least give me time to say no. I already explained things to you as much as I could. I'm from the future and I have a job to do. Yes, I've meddled in your life but I have my reasons. You'll just have to trust me."

"And how the hell do I do that?" Kaitlin snorted. "You pop into and out of my life so much I can hardly tell when you're there. You speak in constant riddle and have yet to tell me anything I can actually use. I don't know who the hell you are or what you want; how can I trust you?"

Kari was silent for a moment before shrugging and nodding. "Good points," she said but didn't elaborate. Instead she started walking around, not really focusing on anything. Scowling, Kat was about to demand an answer when she noticed something. That wandering around with a blank expression…she'd seen it before. No, not just seen it. She'd done it before. Often. Now that she thought about it, Kari's eyes looked a lot like her own. And that hair was obviously silver but the closest she'd ever seen to that color was Draco's hair. Godric Hollow was her parent's home and that's where Kari said she was from. Everything clicked in her mind.

"Are you my child?" she asked. Kari's eyes flicked to her, wide, before softening.

"Maybe," she said lightly. "Although that would be a little weird since I'm not fully human, don't you think?" Yes, that would be a bit strange. However, Kat wasn't entirely sure she wasn't part elf. That counted, right?

"You should be getting back," Kari said suddenly. "Draco must be getting worried about you by now. After all, the sun is fully set." Yelping, Kat whirled around and realized the girl was right. There was no light anymore except from the moon. Not bothering to say goodbye, the raven focused on the spell. Once more a deer she took off through the trees. It wasn't until the castle came back in view that she slowed down and resumed her human shape. Honestly, she'd be glad when she learned how to be a true Animungus. Taking the form of her father wasn't exactly pleasant.

Just about to run the rest of the way to the castle doors, Kat paused. There was a glint of silver in the grass that caught her eye. Curious, she knelt down and picked it up. It was a tiny charm, smaller then any of her others. She actually had to focus to realize it was the deer. The fifth of the Ra'Shel. There wasn't any hesitation as she snapped it onto her bracelet. True, she didn't know the purpose of the Ra'Shel but something deep inside told her they were vital. A small part of her mind wondered if they were the power the Dark Lord knew not.

"KAITLIN!"

Yelping, Kat dashed for the castle. She could see Draco in the doorway and wilted. Crap, she was going to get it this time.

-}-

Finally, Kat managed to get away from Draco. The blonde had been furious with her for disappearing. He'd had a mini heart attack, worrying about her. His mind had come up with countless scenarios about what could have happened to her. Hearing her say she just wanted to go for a walk had pissed him off. Really, if that had been her true reason Kat wouldn't have been able to blame him. She could have walked around inside just as easily and much more safely.

Now the raven was grounded not to the dungeons but to her common room. Blaise was stationed there, still naked. Apparently her curse had made it so he was incapable of wearing clothes. She actually did feel bad about that. Blaise was to good a friend for her to do it on purpose.

Falling onto her bed, she noticed the Ra'Shel book out. Growling, she rolled over and grabbed it. She didn't really feel like studying but what else could she do while trapped in her room? Redecorating came to mind but she didn't think Pansy would enjoy that. So instead she opened the book with a sigh and read the new legends. In the end she closed it in anger. There had been page after page about deer legends but they'd all had two things in common. One, they'd all been about white deer. Second, they'd all told her that white deer were spirit creatures. Nothing else. Certainly nothing that gave her an insight to the personality of the deer. All the other legends had given her a glimpse into the animal's being. Gave her an idea of what to expect. Now, nothing.

Scowling at her new charm, Kat rolled over and thought it through. All the deer had been spirits. Was that important? Maybe the deer's personality was on a whole other plane. Spirits, true spirits, not ghosts, were so different. They had a sort of detachment from everything. Nothing really mattered to them but they still took an interest in the living. The deer in the legends had been many things. Protectors, guides, lovers, challenges. But no matter the role the deer continued to act more like a casual observer. It was there then gone. Was that its personality? Smirking, she looked at the charm again. Funny little creature, the deer. She wondered off handedly if her father had been like that.

Something very small but very important clicked in her mind, making her bolt up with a gasp. She kept meeting the blasted animals. Things she had never thought about before suddenly stood out. Kari gave her the otter charm; Kat met that otter in the lake. Draco gave her the wolf charm; he'd later given her a wolf pup. Kat had found the falcon charm at the store; Draco had bought a falcon that day. Narcissa sent her the beaver charm; Kat had watched a beaver work on its dam at the Manor. Now she randomly found the deer after returning to her human form after being in the deer form she'd inherited from her father. There was no way that could be coincidence.

Mulling it over for a moment more Kat shook her head. One mystery at a time. Right then what mattered more was how to defeat Voldemort. Once she figured that out she could focus on the animals on her wrist. So, smirk returning, the raven bounced off her bed. She couldn't redecorate her room without Pansy murdering her. So she'd just go to Draco's room and redecorate it instead. Hmm…wonder how it would look in red and gold.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: I HATE MY OLD SCHOOL! I'm 18 and I'm being forced to redo 11__th__ and 12__th__ grade! The only reason I'm mentioning this is because school starts in a week so my updating may get a little screwy. Also, my wonderful but very annoying mother has decided that I once again have a bed time. That new bedtime is 10:30 which is also the time I usually update. So that will throw my updating off even more. Fun, right? Wrong. Not that any of you care, I know. Let's just get on to the reviews._

_Full Moon Mitsuki Koyama: No, I will not kill Kat off with or without the baby. I promise you this. And yes, Draco will find out that Harry is Kaitlin. Just not till the end._

_Slythindor Hybrid: I'm not giving up. Yet. High school is such a pain in the ass that might change. Although that will probably affect my future stories more then this one._

_ReiShiroiAi: Wow, I'm blushing over here. Well, not really since I don't blush but if I did I would be. Thanks for the compliments. Kaitlin will never return to being Harry. The change was forever and nothing will change her back. That potion the Slytherin's used in the prank was just a modification of the Polyjuice potion but that's as close as she'll get to being as she was._

_SunshineAndDaisies: She'll tell him…eventually…maybe…I think so at least._

_Kaikuduo: Not for a while yet. Sorry._

_Drarry-hell-yes: Yes, she's pregnant. Joy to the world! :P Not really._

_Trexie: Oh, that sounds cool. Hmm…the only fighter planes I know are the F-16's so I'm not totally sure what planes you're talking about. Still, I'll check it out. I haven't picked my MOS yet for the army reserves but I hope to do that soon. I'm shooting for MP but may not get it. We'll just wait and see. (Actually, I wanted to be infantry but girls aren't allowed. Stupid rule really.) I'm glad the chapter turned out sad like I wanted. Did I portray the helplessness and struggle well enough? It seemed a little rushed to me._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	27. T is for Trust

Probably for the first time ever Kaitlin realized that she had out studied Hermione. Both girls had gone to the library to research their own projects but the Gryffindor girl had retired hours before. Kat, on the other hand wasn't even half way done. It wasn't even that her project was more complicated either. Rather, it was just that harder for her to concentrate. Besides, she was so desperate for a distraction that she was stretching everything out as long as she could. However eventually everything had to end and her research was finally finished. Unless she wanted to go totally off topic she would have to stop. So, with a heavy sigh she picked up her books and returned them to the shelves.

Finished, the Slytherin left the library. Had school been in progress it would have been far past curfew but with the threat of Voldemort there was no curfew anymore. Everyone could take as long as needed to learn and train so long as they didn't drive themselves to either insanity or exhaustion. Something Pansy had managed to do just the other day. Madame Pomfrey was not very happy with the Slytherin girl just then but at least she was being treated. Actually, Pomfrey had been better about treating Slytherin's since Kat had told her she used to be Harry.

Reaching the Slytherin common room at last the raven sighed upon entering. If she had been told a year ago that the dungeons would become as home feeling as the tower had been she would have suggested the person go to St. Mungo's. Now though there was no way to deny it. Every time she stepped through the portrait she felt like she was coming home. It was a rather pleasant feeling.

The common room was rather empty with only a couple students still awake. One was Nott and he actually smiled when he saw her. They had built a very firm friendship over the months, almost as close as her relationship with Ron. The main difference being that they both enjoyed being quiet with the other. Most of the time they were studying together or just sitting near each other. Draco had, of course, had a jealousy fit when he'd learned of their relationship but he'd calmed down after he realized there was no physical or sexual attraction.

The other person in the common room was Blaise. The Italian simply glared at her as she smiled sheepishly. They still hadn't been able to figure out the spell she'd used so now he was forced to wear some sheets like a toga. Needless to say, it made him more then a little irritated at her. Pansy, on the other hand, loved her for it. Kept going on about how she was never going to let Blaise live it down. Which led to another strike against Kat as far as Zabini was concerned. All Kaitlin could do was chuckle nervously and move on.

Suddenly someone appeared from the boy staircase and glared murderously at her. This glare she returned with a smile. It was so much fun seeing Draco wearing red and gold. Just redecorating his room hadn't been enough for her. Sure, the place looked so much cooler now but she'd still been so bored. So, using a spell she'd learned from Sirius, the raven had woven a very complex charm that made it so that every piece of clothing that Draco either owned or wore would turn red and gold. Her favorite was the thermal she'd gotten him for Christmas. It _had_ had a coiled snake on it but now, every time he wore it, it had the face of a roaring lion.

"Draco," she greeted, humor lacing her words. Her husband just scowled at her but she could see the amusement in his eyes. He wasn't actually all that mad. Sure, he hated the colors and that bloody Weasley wouldn't stop teasing him about it but he couldn't stay mad at his wife. It gave her something to laugh and joke about so he put up with it. That didn't mean he wasn't going to get revenge. He'd contemplated doing the same prank but discarded the idea. Kat liked red and gold to much for it to be a good punishment. So he'd just have to think about it a while longer.

Before Kat could make it to the stairs Draco had snagged her around the waist. Ignoring her yelp and weak struggles he carried her to his chair and sat with her in his lap. She wiggled for a moment, getting comfortable, before snuggling into him, her head under his chin. Silence fell between the two as they just shared in the other's presence. Things had been so busy since they're frantic escape from the manor ten days ago. Neither was exactly happy to have their honeymoon ruined and the frantic pace of war preparations kept them apart for so long.

Suddenly sad, Kat let her hand rest on her stomach. She'd told Pomfrey and the old nurse had told her she was about a month along. Eight to go but would they actually come to be? After all, Voldemort was actively on the move. Already Diagon Alley and the Ministry had been attacked. Hogsmeade, so far, had managed to escape unscathed but every one knew it wouldn't be long. After that all that was left was Hogwarts and the final confrontation between herself and the evil git.

"Are you scared about the battle?" she suddenly asked, surprising Draco. This was a first. Kat never talked about the battle that was coming with the Dark Lord.

"A bit," he admitted. "Of course, I'm a Malfoy. No spine, remember?" Kat just groaned and elbowed him lightly, making him chuckle. "Well, okay, that's a bit of a lie. After all, I'm not planning on running away. I'll be there when the fight begins. Just…don't expect me to be on the front lines, okay?" Hearing the uncertainty in her love's voice, Kaitlin nodded.

"Only so long as you don't expect me to stay in the rear," she whispered. She felt Draco tighten his grip for a moment before relaxing. It was there unspoken agreement. He didn't complain about her being in danger, she didn't complain about him hanging back safe. Yes, it irked them from time to time but it was such a small thing they refused to let it drive a wedge between them.

The portrait suddenly swung open. Startled, the four students looked over. Pansy came in first; looking much better then she had the other day, after having fainted from working to hard. Severus was on her heels, looking grim like usual. "Gather in," he commanded and they all obey. Apparently the order had gone throughout the House because the other students trickled down the stairs till they were all standing there. For the briefest of moments Kat wondered if the same thing was happening in the other dorms.

"The House heads and Dumbledore have been in a meeting all day," Severus started. "We discussed many things. One of them was whether or not to teach you students how to become animagi. After hours of debate by certain members," Kat had to snicker at the look of disgust and irritation on his face, "it was decided that such a lesson was necessary. Therefore you will all begin the process tonight." He pulled out a number of shrunken vials, each filled with a light gold liquid. "This potion will tell you what your animungus form is. When I give you the vial you will drink it and then go to your place in this room. There will be no talking; no interacting. Just go to your seat and remain there until the potion works and you know your animal. Once that occurs quietly get up and come tell me your animal. I will give you further instructions then. If I'm already talking with a student remain seated until I am free. Understood?" They all nodded. "Then when I say your name come get your potion."

Kaitlin was the first one called and when she stepped forward he handed her a potion. Now that she was closer she realized that the shade of gold was different in each vial. No doubt each one was made for a specific student. Without hesitation she drank the whole thing. After bracing herself for the normal nastiness of potions she was pleasantly surprised to taste…honey. It was very sweet, sweet enough to make her gag anyway. That was worse then eating pure sugar.

Nodding to her professor, the raven left the small group and went to her chair. For a second she gazed longingly at Draco's chair before settling into her own. True, it was warmer in her own but it wasn't as comfortable as being with her husband. Draco nearly yelped and ran when she fixed him with her tormented puppy eyes. As it were he had to quickly turn his chair around so the back was facing her. His actions made her chuckle quietly. It was amusing to realize just how much power she had over the poor boy.

Eventually everyone had the potion and was settled around. Sadly, Kat's green eyes swept over the room. She could remember when the commons was bustling with people. Had it really only been a month ago? Now there were only thirteen students, her and Draco included. Blaise and Vincent had been talking about how a lot of their friends had been caught by their Deatheater parents before managing to get away. No doubt those students were now either part of Voldemort's army or dead for refusing.

The other Houses weren't doing much better. Only six Hufflepuff had managed to make it back to the school. Ravenclaw had ten students, Luna among them but not Cho. Gryffindor had the most, twenty-seven, but that was still so few compared to normal. Most of the teachers were gone as well since classes were not being held. The heads of the Houses were still there of course as were Madame Pince, Madame Pomfrey, Hagrid, Flitwick, and Dumbledore. And Binn's but no one counted him. Then there were Narcissa and Lucius, both managing to escape with Draco and Kaitlin. But other then that the four remaining people in the castle were siblings of a couple of the students, to young to go to Hogwarts. It was torture for the students, not knowing what was happening to their families. Even Draco and his mother were worrying about her sister, Andromeda, and Sirius.

A sudden itch distracted Kaitlin from her thoughts. Surprised, she looked down and saw something appear on her right wrist. It was tiny, hardly noticeable, but as she watched it form she realized it was a symbol. Thinking that it had to be a sign of her animal she stood and walked over to Severus. When he looked at her she just held out her arm, letting him see the symbol. He studied it quietly for a moment before nodding. She leaned closer when he beckoned her to.

"It means 'snow leopard,'" he whispered into her ear. "Go find a secluded place in the castle. Once there settle down and meditate on the animal. Everything you know about them, understood? Do that until you hear my voice call you back. Later, tell me your place so that I can go adjust things. Now go and don't speak or interact with anyone or anything." Nodding, Kat silently left the commons. Once again she was struck by how silent the castle was. Outside the dungeon she saw a couple other students moving around but ignored them as they ignored her. At one point she spotted Ron and broke the rule for a second, shooting him a smile. He smiled back before they separated.

Passing by the stairs that led to Professor Trelawney's room she slowed to a stop. She debated inwardly for a moment before making her way up the stairs. Inside the room she found it was actually pleasant, if you ignored that horrendous decorating, without the incenses burning. Knowing how much most students disliked Divination Kat picked this to be her place. Settling down on one of the cushions, she closed her eyes and focused on the snow leopard. She didn't know much about them but she could research them tomorrow. Right then she just focused on what little she did know. They were large felines. They lived in the northern mountains of Asia and were well adapted to their environment. They were so secretive even those who lived in that area rarely saw them.

The hours ticked by and Kaitlin was unaware of them. All she could do was focus on the picture forming in her mind. The more she thought about the creature the clearer she saw it. Was that what it meant to be an animagi? To see the animal and then to become it?

Distantly she heard Severus's voice and drew her mind back to the present. Her eyes slowly opened and she looked around. Nothing had been disturbed so she rose quietly to leave. As she walked back down those bloody narrow and steep stairs she let her mind wander again. If fell back to the word from the journal last night. _Trust_. That had been a difficult word for her. Trust was something that had caused her only pain for years. Draco was slowly teaching her how it was supposed to be but the work was slow. Still, she hadn't felt right leaving the page blank so she'd wrote down the first thought that came to her mind when she thought of Draco. _You taught me how to TRUST again._ And now the quote the book had thrown back at her was swirling around in her mind.

To be **trusted** is a greater compliment than being loved. -George MacDonald

It didn't really make sense to her. Did that quote mean things were still good so long as people trusted her, even if they didn't love her? She didn't want a life like that. Yes, she liked that people thought she was trustworthy. Draco, Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, everyone had given her so much trust. But where would she be if they didn't love her as well? Surely love and trust should go hand in hand.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Kaitlin finally growled in frustration and looked at her back. She'd been feeling off balance ever since she stood up. Thinking it had just been because she'd been sitting so long she ignored it. But now things were going too far. However, all she saw was a long bushy tail twitching behind her. Oh, well if that was all it was…she turned around and kept walked before freezing in mid-step.

Tail?

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?"

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_Babble time: Wow, got this one written early. Had to because of my new schedule. Grr. I hate this. Okay, I know most of you probably don't care and won't do it but I have a new poll up and I really really need votes. So even if you don't give a shit could you just vote anyway? It would really help. Oh yeah! The idea for Draco's clothes to be red and gold as well came from ReiShiroiAi. Same with the lion on the shirt thing although I also modeled that one off a real shirt I own. On to the reviews._

_ReiShiroiAi: I'm still trying to decide if Kari is Kat's child. I think it would be fun too. Although, really, since it was Kari's fault that Kat is a girl that brings to mind how she could be Kat's child in a time when Harry stayed Harry. Also, I took your advice about the clothes. Hope you liked it!_

_Trexie: Nah, you can use the idea, no prob. So long as I get to read it when it comes out, okay? Oh, so that's what the difference is with those planes. Thanks! Eh, I'm not too big on firefighting. I prefer people fighting. Thus the infantry but nooooo. Stupid army. (pouts)_

_Broken Angel1816: You're still reading! YAY! And yes (for the hundredth time) Kat will tell everyone that she was Harry. Just not till the end._

_ Stabler 1983: Thank you._

_Kirsten Bradshaw: It does stink but I have to do it. At least I'll already know everything and breeze right through, right? Lol, yeah right._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Oh, he explodes and yells at her while she laughs herself silly. You know, normal stuff in the Slytherin dorms. ^.^_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	28. U is for Understand

Kaitlin growled darkly as she heard Blaise snicker yet again. He'd been doing that ever since he and Pansy had found her in the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey was still working on removing her tail though no one could figure out how she got it. Madame Sprout had given the suggestion that it was an incomplete morphing into her animungus form but McGonagall had quickly shot down that thought. There was no incomplete morphing, she told them. It either went all the way or it didn't work at all. Beside, simple meditation on the creature wouldn't bring on the transformation. Kat had missed most of the explanation but she figured it was rather complicated. Not that she cared just then because she still had that blasted tail.

"Where's Draco?" she asked suddenly, realizing he wasn't there. Pansy shrugged, oddly not caring.

"Somewhere," she said vaguely. "He left with his parents just after Professor Snape ended out meditation. They said it was important and a couple Auror's went with them." Kat didn't like that her husband had left without telling her but she nodded anyway. Draco was free to live his own life, just as she was. She could not and would not try to control it.

Eventually the two Slytherin's got bored and wandered off, discussing their animal forms. Apparently Blaise was a vulture (which he was not happy about) and Pansy was a (snicker) pug. They were currently plotting how to fail the lesson without being obvious since they didn't want anyone to see their animungus selves. The conversation just made Kat chuckle darkly. At least she wasn't ashamed of her form.

After a few moments Hermione and Ron managed to sneak in. They smiled at their friend as she waved. Knowing that Pomfrey had secured them at least an hour alone the two Gryffindor's sat in the chairs right beside Kat. "What's your animungus form?" Ron asked excitedly. Kat just looked at him slyly, a small smile on her face.

"You two first," she said. No way was she going to tell them without knowing theirs first. If it went that way they'd refuse to tell her, she knew. Already Ron was blushing and stuttering while Hermione sighed in irritation.

"I'm an owl," the girl muttered, obviously angry. Kat burst out laughing. She still remembered vividly that time in fourth year when Ron had had Hermione give that confusing message and she'd finally yelled at them both that she was not an owl. Apparently she was wrong. Calming down, Kaitlin turned eager eyes to Ron. However, he just kept blushing and rambling until Hermione finally smacked him over the head. "Ron's a weasel," she said dryly, ignoring her boyfriend's outraged gasp. For a second all was still before Kat literally roared with laughter. She actually fell out of the bed and rolled on the floor, laughing the whole time. Ron was a weasel. Merlin's beard, Ronald Weasley was an actual weasel. Oh, Draco was never going to let this one down.

"And what about you," Ron finally growled, his blush still going full force. Kaitlin managed to pull herself together long enough to stand up and turn around, showing her rear to them both. She heard the gasps and smiled before turning to them.

"A leopard," she said sweetly, like it was perfectly natural. "A snow leopard if you want to be specific. But when I was done meditating I had this tail. Weird, right?" Both her friends were sufficiently stunned into silence so she just settled back on to her bed.

"But I though your animungus was a doe," Ron finally said, utterly confused. He and Hermione had seen Harry turn into a stag quite often and a doe since the transformation. So he was shocked when Kaitlin shook her head.

"That was the lesser Animungus spell," she told him. "Hermione helped me discover it. Basically, if either of your parents has an animungus form the spell allows you to take that form as well. So since my father was a stag I could achieve that form. If Sirius had been my father I would have been a dog. Peter and I would have been a rat. See the picture?" They both nodded. "However, the snow leopard is specifically my form. It didn't come from either of my parents."

Just then Pomfrey walked in, gesturing urgently for Ron and Hermione to join her. They did so nearly a second too late as the doors opened and Draco came in. As far as he could tell he'd just walked into a mini lecture that the nurse was giving them but he didn't really care just then. All his attention was on his wife before him. Moving quickly he was at her side in seconds and pulling her into a hug.

"Are you alright?" he whispered into her ear. He'd already noticed her tail but chose to remain quiet about it. She would tell him that part in time, of that he was positive.

"I'm fine," she assured him as he pulled back to look her in the face. "Just have a bit of a tail. Nothing to worry about. Pomfrey will get me fixed in no time. You'll see. So, what's your animal?" Draco actually groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Tiger," he said morosely. "Pansy's been going on about it since she found out. Said that blasted nickname paper of hers had to have known. By the way, you aren't helping any since you turned out to be a wild cat. I just have to keep reminding her that she's a pug and not a peacock."

Laughing, Kat just shook her head and leaned back. Leave it to Pansy to forget that part. The girl was a great friend but not all the arrogance and vainness had been faked. It was an easy thing to forget but always managed to surface again later.

In time Draco left as did her friends and Pomfrey. Thinking she could finally get some rest Kat moved to lay down when she heard a low hiss. Tensing, she got up slowly and looked around. Her eyes widened in fear when she caught sight of what had disturbed her.

_Nagini,_ she hissed. Voldemort's familiar just slithered closer, hate in her eyes.

_I bring a message from master,_ the snake hissed, rearing up so her head was even with the girls. Oh, how she wanted to strike out and kill this human. Because of this one person her master had gone through so much pain and trouble. But her master had made it clear that he and he alone would kill Potter so she reigned in her temper._ Beware Harry Potter. The Dark Lord knows who you are. And he is coming._ Message delivered, Nagini settled on to the floor once more and slithered away, leaving the human. Once she was outside she did as her master had taught and released the petrifaction charm she'd put on the girl. Now that she was free she didn't care if the excuse for a witch screamed.

Kat didn't scream though. She gasped and burst into tears but she didn't scream. Fear and death was just a bit too normal to her anymore for her to scream. But then the fear started welling up within her. He knew. Fates curse it; Voldemort knew she was a girl. Worse, he knew she was Kaitlin. How did he find out? Their connection hadn't worked since the transformation.

Forgetting where she was, Kat let terror guide her and she raced from the infirmary. The moving stairs were just an annoyance as she almost just bypassed them all to leap over the railing and fall. Somehow she managed not to do that and reached the dungeons safely. A tiny part of her mind pulled her up short, ignoring her gasping for breath. Draco. How was she going to explain this to Draco? She couldn't just explain this all to him. That would involve her explaining that she had been Harry. They might be growing to love each other but he would never accept her if he knew. So what was she going to do?

'You're disgusting,' a tiny part of her heart told her. She knew what she had to do but was avoiding the mere thought at all costs. There had to be another way; she wouldn't accept this way. Some pretext of a mission, her parents calling her back because they were worried, simple disappearance, there had to be another way!

But there wasn't. He and his parents would fight her going on a mission. She was his wife so her parents, whoever the LeNair's were, wouldn't be able to pull her out anymore. He would hunt to the ends of the earth to find her if she disappeared. No, there was no other way. Sobbing, Kat leaned against the wall, almost too weak to stand. She didn't want to do this. Merlin, she didn't want to do this.

Controlling herself once more, Kaitlin held her head high and continued on her way. She reached the commons in no time and went straight to her room. Pansy wasn't there, thank Merlin, so she was free to pack in peace. In no time all her belongings were in her trunk. She shrunk said trunk and put it in her pocket before collecting herself. Zareb was around her neck, trying to be comforting while Lupus was at her feet, waiting patiently. Nodding to them, the raven got up to leave the room. Just before she did she spotted the word journal lying on her bedside desk. She hadn't packed it, not wanting to remember the year. Had it really only been a little over six months? She couldn't recognize herself anymore. Slowly, reluctantly, she walked over and opened it for the last time.

_Understand_

"What is there to understand?" she asked the book and almost closed it without writing her reply. Instead, she thought yet again of Draco. Tears filled her eyes as she shakily wrote down her final thoughts.

_I hope you will one day UNDERSTAND what I'm doing._

Not waiting for a reply, she picked the book up and threw it into the fire, watching it burn to ashes. With that done she left the room, sealing her emotions away. Her steps were confident as she walked down the stairs. In the common room there was only Draco, lounging on his chair. He smiled when he saw her but frowned when she didn't smile back.

"What's wrong?" he asked. For a moment he thought he saw a flash of pain in her eyes but it passed, leaving her like a statue once more.

"It's over," she said, making him freeze. "I can't keep doing this. I can't keep up this life of lies. Thank you for everything you've done for me so far but I can't take it anymore. There's no way I can face a future being married to someone I could never love. When the year of our marriage is over I will send the divorce papers. Until then, please leave me alone." And with those words she swept out of the room, hurrying to escape before her control broke and she started crying. Knowing Draco would soon chase her, Kaitlin broke into a run. Lupus could barely keep up with her as she ran through the halls and corridors. Finally reaching the outdoors Kat heard the first cry of her name. It was Draco. Putting on a burst of speed the raven managed to grab Lupus the second she passed the barriers and apparated. For a moment all was whirling light and nauseas travel before she landed none too gently.

Blinking, Kat looked around her. The first thing she noticed was that it was raining. Already she was rather soaked and Lupus wasn't doing much better. The next thing she noticed was that she seemed to be in a small rural town. There were a few houses she could see but the one she was directly before called to her. Slowly, she walked up to those doors and knocked, not knowing who would be inside. When the door opened she was faced with a teen boy, not much older then herself. He was taller then her and had the look of someone who had once been very obese and was now working on becoming fit. Her mind derailed when she realized who he was.

"Dudley," she whispered, the name coming through numb lips. Her cousin looked just as shocked when he realized who this girl before him was.

"Harry?" he asked. Just then Kat sneezed and snapped Dudley out of his funk. "What are you doing out there, come in. Quick, before you catch cold." To tired to disobey, Kaitlin did as ordered. As Dudley fussed over her, getting her a warm robe to wear and some hot chocolate before putting her before the fire the raven's mind was focused elsewhere. It focused on the quote it knew the book had been about to tell her. A quote that filled her with such foreboding she didn't even notice her cousin yelp at the sight of Lupus.

The moment you think you **understand** a great work of art, it's dead for you. -Oscar Wilde

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_Babble time: Another chapter done. Grr, I don't like this story anymore. I've wanted to deviate from my whole plan for chapters now and I can't. All I can do is keep plugging along. Also, I wanted to apologize about the whole animungus thing. I'd thought I'd explained it but a lot of people were confused so I had Kat explain this time. Does it make more sense now? Also, please don't kill me for what she said to Draco. Okay? If you kill me I can't update anymore. One last thing, I may get spotty in my updates again. I had to have a biopsy done today to see if I have skin cancer so I'm currently missing a piece of my back that they cut out. Then on Monday I'm having a chunk of flesh cut out of each of my heels. Not fun. So…yeah, updates my get sort of weird. On to the reviews!_

_Trexie: Was the course fun? Apparently I have an aptitude for mechanics even though I hate it so I want to talk to people who do it. Uh…did I clear up the whole thing about Kat's animungus? That part was cute, wasn't it. And then I go and do this. Merlin, there is something wrong with me._

_Broken Angel1816: Snow leopard's are one my fav animals so I decided to make her one. They're pretty rare and not many people would think to use them._

_Kirsten Bradshaw: Thank you._

_ReiShiroiAi: Lol, that would be funny but I'm not that cruel. At least, not to Blaise. The whole how could Kari be Harry's daughter debate is giving me a headache so if you ever figure it out let me know. Also, did I explain the animungus thing well enough? I can see now how it would be confusing and I apologize. Also, I think your other question is answered; it was just a tail that popped up._

_SunshineAndDaisies: I'm glad you like it. Since it's not in the norm I was afraid people wouldn't like it._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	29. Woodpeckers are guides

"I don't know how anyone can envy your life," Dudley said with a smile as he fried up some eggs. It had been two weeks since Kat's sudden appearance and she's spent the time catching her cousin up with her life. For the first time ever she told him what the magical world was like and what she did. Of course, she left certain parts out like some of the magical creatures. She didn't want to scare Dudley by telling him that werewolves and vampires were real. Hell, she'd had nightmares after learning that. No reason to pass on the misery. Now, at the end, Dudley could only shake his head in wonder. How Harry had managed to survive all that was beyond him.

"I don't get it myself," Kat admitted as she glared at the bacon before her. She loved the greasy stuff but the baby apparently hated it because she got sick whenever she at as much as a tiny piece. "People always say they wish they could be like the great Harry Potter. Saint Potter. The Boy-Who-Lived. And yet I would do anything to trade my life for an easier one. A normal one. Hey, do you have any cheese besides cheddar?" The conversation flowed smoothly on to the breakfast and soon both teens were eating quietly. It had become sort of like a tradition between them.

In the silence Dudley watched his cousin. He remembered Harry quite clearly. The boy had always been short and scrawny, a product of living in a cupboard under the stairs. He'd also always been quiet but still full of life. That's why Dudley had hated him so much. All that work went into beating the boy down and he still shone so strong. It wasn't actually that hard to believe that some thought he was a saint. No matter how bad things got he was quick to smile and laugh, even if it had to be in private. Sure, things had been hard after that one year, the fourth one. Harry had been much quieter then and even more reserved but there was still that spark of life and love.

That was gone now. Kaitlin smiled much more then Harry did. She laughed and joked more too. They would talk for hours and she would be so passionate for what she was saying. But that spark of life was gone from her eyes. No matter how passionately she spoke her eyes were dead. Every subject but one that is. Draco Malfoy. Whenever she spoke of him something in her eyes changed. They grew darker, sadder, like she really didn't want to talk about him. It was that which proved to Dudley that his cousin really did love the guy. Sure, she told him all the terrible things they'd done to each other so one would think there would be only hate between them, and Merlin knows she tried to make it seem that way, but the fact that he was the only one that could bring emotion into her eyes told a different story.

"So how are Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon?" Kat suddenly asked as they gathered the dishes. She'd been surprised to find her cousin living alone and even more shocked when, during the two weeks, there had been no communication between him and his parents.

"They kicked me out," Dudley said, shrugging easily like he didn't care. "I mean, they were furious you and I parted on somewhat friendly terms. Tell me, what was I supposed to do? You saved me from those…whatchamacallits even though I had been bullying you not ten minutes before. That's not something I can just overlook. And besides, that made me think of all the cruel and vile things I'd done to you over your life. Made me sick to my stomach it did. When mum and dad found out they were furious. Told me to leave because they didn't want to be seen with someone who was sympathetic to 'freaks'. Far as I know they're still living at 4 Privet Drive. Don't actually care much."

Though it hurt Kat to see how easily the family had been broken she had to smile a little. She remembered her farewell with Dudley eight months past. It had been weird and awkward but had left her feeling lighter. Really, she'd been hoping to find him again after the war. There had been a small part of her that was hoping the two could reconcile. Now she knew they had.

"Dementors," she said suddenly, making Dudley look at her strangely. "They were Dementors, not whatchamacallits." Dudley just scowled and flicked some soapy water at her.

"Whatever," he grouched but the humor in his voice was clear. "Aren't you late for your walk?" Kaitlin walked every morning. She never said what she did during the walk or where she went but she did it. Dudley actually dreaded the walks because she always came back so depressed but he kept quiet. He could feel that she need the time alone. True, he didn't know why but he didn't need to. It was enough to just let her go and a few hours later she'd come back depressed only to get better by lunch. An odd hobby or tradition, he wasn't sure, but it was still there.

Nodding, Kat paused only long enough to grab her cloak before walking out the door. The sun was only starting to rise and the ground was covered in fog, masking her footsteps. For a moment she shivered before setting out. With the ease of practice her bare feet found the trail she's walked every morning. It was a gentle path that led her quickly to the nearby woods. Under the shadows of the trees she noticed just how dense the fog was becoming. However, she wasn't afraid. She knew Lupus was slinking around somewhere and would warn her of danger. The pup was now nearly to her hip, having had an unexplainable growth spurt over the last two weeks. There was also the fact that Zareb was around her neck, acting as a clasp for the cloak. He hated the job but Kat had insisted. Her cousin was taking things pretty well thus far but she thought the sight of a live silver snake might unsettle him just a bit. After all, he was still a bit bothered by her tail and he'd seen that from day one.

The woods were nearly silent as she walked through. She waited for the birds to begin their singing but nothing came. It was like the trees were holding their breath while the fog muffled everything else. For a moment Kat thought of those horror movies she'd seen and wondered if a zombie would suddenly appear. But for some reason she felt nothing but peace. It made her curious for a moment before she spotted someone ahead of her. She huffed in annoyance before walking over. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asked grumpily. Kari just smiled.

"Checking in," she said easily, leaning against a large oak. "You startled me when you ran away so I decided a check-up was needed. Although you seem to be doing better."

"He knows who I am," Kat said bluntly. She didn't bother saying a name, knowing Kari would know already. Just like she thought, the other girl nodded.

"I'm aware of that. One of those git's from my time figured things out and told him. Still, that doesn't explain why you ran away."

"My protection was gone!" Kaitlin screamed, making Kari blink. "I can live with old snake face hunting me down; I've lived that way for seventeen years of my life. But I have another life I need to be thinking about right now and I couldn't risk them. I'll gamble with my own life like there is no tomorrow but I won't throw in the life of my child for free." Kari stared for a moment longer before shrugging and lighting one of her ever present cigarettes.

"The baby's fine," she said easily, shaking out the match. "They grow up to be a very annoying Malfoy. Not an arrogant little twit like Draco but still annoying. Mostly this one is annoying because they spent too much time with Dumbledore and are always speaking in riddles. Well, that and the fact that they are an Unspeakable and you got a recipe for disaster. But relax. It will take a lot more then a killing curse to even faze that kid. Can I tell you a story?"

Kaitlin blinked at the sudden jump in subject. "Alright," she said warily. Kari must have noticed reservation because she smiled slyly.

"When I was little I didn't always listen to my parents," she said, staring off into space. "Well, not on certain things. When they told me not to use magic I didn't. When they said go to bed I did. But one thing they told me not to do was go into the forest near our house. Now that rule pissed me off. I loved the forest and always wanted to go there. So I decided to ignore the rule and started sneaking off to the woods. I was very sneaky about it of course. I knew my parents would skin me alive for breaking the rules. But they remained none the wiser and I could do as I wished.

"Then one day my parents and I got into a huge row. I don't even remember what it was about. Anyway, I got so mad I decided to run away into the forest. After all I knew my way in it. I was confident I'd be able to survive out there. So away I went. I was so mad I just kept going deeper and deeper until I realized that the sun had set long before and I was in darkness. Knowing I'd need shelter for the night I looked around and discovered that I had no clue where I was. In my anger I'd gone so far into the forest I didn't know which direction I needed to get out.

"I ended up staying in the forest for about a week. By then end I was cold, wet, hungry, tired, and very, very scared. I honestly thought that would be then end of me. But then, on the morning of the eighth day I heard a strange noise over my head. When I looked up I saw a woodpecker. There wasn't anything extraordinary about it. Rather, it was rather nondescript and plain. But for some reason it held my attention; I didn't really want to look away considering it was staring at me. We watched each other for a few moments before it flew off, landing in a tree just inside my vision. Curious, and having nothing better to do, I followed it. Once I reached its tree it just flew on to the next. The whole day went like that. The bird always landed within my sight and would wait for me to reach it before flying off once more.

"At one point it stopped at this one tree and started pecking at it. Pretty soon the long stick was riddled with holes, all in a straight line. A sharp gust of wind broke the stick off and it fell at my feet. I'd heard the whistle sort sound it made when the wind went through it so I picked up the stick and tried to play it. My mother had a flute and she'd taught me how to play but this was a bit cruder then I was used to. Still, after a lot of practice which I had plenty of time for since I was still following the bird, I learned a short tune. It wasn't much; three simple notes in a four note cycle. But it soothed me and that's what mattered.

"Suddenly, I heard another whistle answer mine. It was my tune so I knew it couldn't just be the wind. That left humans so I whistled again. When I heard the reply I went towards it, not realizing that the woodpecker had stayed back. The whistle tag went on for a few more minutes before I quite suddenly stepped out of the woods. Instantly I saw my house and, better yet, my mother sitting on the porch. Her flute was to her lips and she was playing back my song. She saw me the same second I saw her and in seconds I was in her arms again."

Kari's voice faded away, her eyes staring into the past or maybe the future. It took her a moment to refocus on Kat; the raven waiting patiently for the ending. "Long story short, I owed that woodpecker my life. It not only led me home but also gave me the flute with which I called to mum. Because of that I've guarded this with my life and swore to never give it up. However, I'm not the one meant to unite the Ra'Shel. That's your job and more power to you. So here, the final piece." The silver haired teen held out her hand, revealing a tiny silver charm. It was a woodpecker of course, sitting on a branch.

Knowing how important the charm before her was, Kaitlin carefully picked it up and put it on her bracelet on the last empty ring. She ducked just in time as a woodpecker zipped over her head, making Kari laugh at the sight. But suddenly, with no warning, Kari was gone. Shocked, Kat spun around, looking, but the teen could not be found.

Before Kat could worry a soundless explosion rocked the forest. Crying out, she fell to her knees, her arms around her stomach. She knew what had happened as clearly as though she'd actually seen it. The wards around Hogwarts had fallen which meant Voldemort was attacking. Instantly her thoughts were filled with Draco. Since she wasn't there would he be the coward he was and run? Or would he be a noble idiot and go to the front just to prove her words wrong? Knowing how stubborn the prat was probably the latter.

"Kari," Kat panted, "I can't do anything like this. Voldemort is to be defeated by Harry Potter but he's gone. Help me. Please…help me!" For a moment all was silent before a gentle hand was laid on her shoulder.

"Get up…Harry."

-}-

Panting, Draco ducked yet another hex. He threw one back, hitting the Deatheater right in the chest but didn't have time to celebrate. The school was overrun and the students were fighting a losing battle. Hell, he'd teamed up with Weasley and Granger, things were so bad. The three had managed to hold their ground for a time but were now being pushed back steadily.

For a moment Draco wished that he wasn't so bloody stubborn. As soon as the battle had begun he should have run or at least gone to the rear. That was the Malfoy thing to do as he father had proved. But no. He'd felt this insane urge to prove to Kat that he could change. He could become someone she could love. Why? Because he loved her. He freaking loved her and her words had hurt so much. So he'd run straight to the front, determined to prove her wrong. Now he was paying the price. What was the point of proving her wrong if he died in the process?

Dodging down the halls, Draco finally followed Granger into the Great Hall. They were going to go through the teacher's entrance to get to the courtyard before joining with the other students. So when he nearly ran into the two before him the blonde knew something was wrong. It didn't take him long to spot the lone person in the room and gulped at the sight. Voldemort was waiting for them, sitting on a throne made of bodies. His eyes glinted dangerously as he stood, a cruel smile on his lips. But before he could say anything there was a great clap of thunder and his gaze went behind them. For a second he seemed shocked before a look of pleasure cross his face. "Harry Potter," he said smoothly. Then, behind him, Draco heard the deep, cocky voice of his archrival.

"Hello Tom. I'm back."

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: So sorry this didn't get up yesterday. I was charging my laptop batteries (yes, I have more then one) and was just going to switch them when my mom's puppy ran by and tripped over the power cord, pulling it out. I hadn't gotten around to saving so BANG the whole chapter was gone. Plus it was, like, eleven at night so I wasn't about to rewrite it then. So here ya go then. On to the reviews!_

_Broken Angel1816: Well, she went to Dudley rather then the Dursely's but yeah._

_ReiShiroiAi: (smirk) We'll just have to wait and see if you're right about the animungus part. That would be so cool if she could though. No, Kat doesn't have mixed feelings about Draco. She loves him with all her heart. The reason she said those things was to try and get him to leave her. It was the only way to protect him. She hated it though. I don't think Kari want's Kat to forget she was a boy. It adds so much to her character._

_ Stabler 1983: I'm glad you like that. Dudley is a prat but he gets better so I forgive him and put him in nice. Also, I think I answered your other two questions._

_Slythindor Hybrid: Thank you; I hope I'm fine too. Lol, I'll work on them getting back together, promise._

_Trexie: Pomfrey didn't fix the tail obviously. It's now a permanent part of Kat's body. She's never getting rid of it. Also, I can't promise you a happy ending but I'll do my best._

_SunshineAndDaisies: I hope I'm ok too. Kat will realize a lot of things next chapter but just what I don't know yet._

_Digiwriter1392: Lol, the good kind of crazy is what I strive for. Glad to know I succeeded._

_Jazzylovestwilight: I'm glad you like it but cut me some slack. I usually update every single day; how much faster can I get? Since I literally write one new chapter a day it's doubtful that I can do multi-chapters per day._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	30. Meeting the Ra' Shel

Harry didn't like this, he really didn't. Sure, Kari had given him back his male body for the fight but bloody hell, this was to fast. She, no, he now, had had no chance to prepare. It made her, his, head spin to think that just minutes before she'd been visiting her cousin. Plus there was the whole thinking of herself as a male again. That was proving near impossible. But there wasn't anytime to focus on that just then cause Voldemort was moving.

"Harry Potter," the monster said again, caressing the name with his voice. It made Harry shudder. Oh yes, he knew what the creep was thinking. He's seen enough dreams with him screaming as the bastard took him to know. The mere memory was enough to make his stomach heave. But somehow he managed to hide that from view.

"Tom," the raven replied, ever polite. Okay, sure, his brandishing his wand and spitting out the name wasn't exactly polite but hey. At least he acknowledged the guy. That had to count for something. Really, it wasn't that bad. As soon as those bare necessities were out of the way the battle started. Harry was hard pressed to keep up with the flurry of curses and hexes thrown at him but he managed somehow. Oh sure, he let some of the lesser ones graze him. The pain from those made his senses sharper, allowing him to dodge the more major ones. He knew Pomfrey would kill him for that later but right then it didn't matter.

A tiny part of Harry's mind kept track of Draco. The blonde had dodged aside as soon as the spells had started but, then again so had Ron and Hermione. No one felt like getting caught in a battle between the two powerful wizards. Other then that the git looked alright. There were a few cuts and scars that hadn't been there before but they were minor. Made him look more refined. Mentally, Harry shook his head. Oh for Merlin's sake, as long as he was a guy he shouldn't be thinking like that. Draco would kill him if he knew.

Draco was watching Harry just as closely. There was that blasted feeling in the back of his mind that he knew the person before him. Of course he did! It was Harry bloody Potter. They'd been archrivals for six years so of course he knew him. But he couldn't help but feel he was missing something. Something big. Why was he thinking of Kaitlin?

Kari was also keeping an eye on them both. It was risky letting Harry handle this on his own. She'd already taken out numerous Deatheaters that hailed from her time and she knew there were more. They knew curses and spells that hadn't even been invented yet. One of those used at the right time and Harry was a goner. Come to think of it, one of those spells and Voldemort would die as well. Why hadn't they tried to knock him off already? Grumbling about the orders that kept her from finishing old snake face off herself, Kari settled in to wait. Her time people would converge here once it was known Harry Potter was fighting. She'd be waiting for them.

Rolling away from yet another curse, Harry swore. Things were getting dangerous. The bastard had already progressed to the Unforgivable's. That was a little fast, even for him. Seemed he was getting desperate. Why, Harry wasn't sure but it was certainly there. So more and more he was reverting more to dodging then fighting. That was sort of counterproductive to winning the battle. No matter how good he was he couldn't win a battle with defense only.

A sudden thrum in the air made Harry freeze. Something inside him screamed as immense power shot up through the floor. For a single moment it was as though time stood still and he could see everything. If he wanted he was sure that he could count every single hair on Draco's head or maybe all of Ron's freckles. Most of all he focused on the source of all his nightmares. Voldemort looked as startled as everyone else, confused by what was happening. It was his one moment of vulnerability and it had to be taken. So, acting quickly, Harry raised his wand and screamed the two words he'd sworn never to say.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Then everything was washed out in white.

-{-

_Blinking, Harry lifted his head to look around. He wasn't sure where he was. It was a small meadow with a creek but hadn't he just been in Hogwarts? What was he doing here?_

"_That's what I want to know."_

_Surprised, Harry looked around to see a small coyote sitting nearby. He'd read about the critter before but had never seen one outside a zoo. It was small and cute but had this smug look on its face. "Why are you in Haven?" it asked. Haven? Oh yeah, Kari had told him about it. That little valley Kat had been in when she spoke to the unicorn._

"_I don't know," he said, answering the question. Really, he didn't. This was all so strange to him. But then he realized that they were not alone in the meadow. Lounging around in different areas were six other animals. The Ra'Shel. He knew them all so well, having carried them for so long. And yet at the same time he didn't know them at all. He didn't know what they wanted or why he was chosen. He sure as hell didn't know why he was there or what was happening._

"_We're being rude," the stag from across the meadow said, walking forward calmly. "After everything Potter has done for us we should at least introduce ourselves."_

"_Me first! Me first!" the otter cried, leaping out of the water enthusiastically. Harry found himself laughing at the sight, enjoying the pure joy that was coming from the little creature. "I'm Jocosa," the sleek one said, grinning from ear to ear as the water slid off it. "It means Playful Lord. Nice to meet ya! Want to play?"_

"_He doesn't have time to play," an irritated voice snapped. Unsurprised, Harry turned towards the wolf who glared at him. "I'm Tala as you well know. It mean's Stalking Wolf."_

"_I am Chayton," the falcon said as he landed in the branches above Harry's head. "It means simply Flacon."_

"_Man gave me the name Fawnity," the stag said regally, "but my true name is Isi. Both mean Deer."_

"_The name's Adriel," the beaver told him, a hint of an American accent showing through. "Same as the rest, it means just Beaver."_

"_I have no name," the woodpecker said flitting above all their heads. "I don't care for one. Just call me Whistle." The coyote snorted at this but otherwise remained silent._

"_And my name is Harry," Harry said before tilting his head. "Why am I here?"_

"_To decide if you live or not."_

_For some reason Harry wasn't surprised at all when he turned around to see Kari standing behind him. He was to use to her popping up randomly. But then her words sunk in and he frowned. "What do you mean, decide if I live?"_

"_It's simple," Tala snorted. She really did seem to have a nasty temper. "When you cast the Killing curse you managed to destroy Voldemort but you also killed the part of his soul that was within you. The shock was so great that you died. Now you can decide if you go back to live or not."_

"_That's a no duh, isn't it?" Harry asked but trailed off when Kari shook her head._

"_It's more complicated then that," she said with a glare at the wolf. "If you decide to die right now you'll move on to the next adventure, as Dumbledore calls it, as you are. Harry Potter, wizard extraordinaire. But if you decide to go back and live you'll be Kaitlin. End of story. Even once you die Harry will not come back. The potion wouldn't have changed your spirit but this will. You really need to think on this. Up till now your spirit has remained Harry Potter. Yes, it was changing to adapt to Kaitlin but the core was Harry. If you go back now that will be gone. Harry will be gone. No matter what you choose, he died. Will Kaitlin continue?"_

_It was a hard decision. On the one hand, Harry didn't really care. If he was dead no matter what why not just go on to the next adventure? He'd get to meet his parents again and catch up with everyone who'd died before him. Maybe he'd even get to meet Tom's mother and befriend her. But then he stopped, his hand resting on his stomach. What would happen to his child? Kari had said the child was fine back when they'd been on Dudley's land but what about now? If Harry and Kaitlin died the baby would die too. Was he willing to let that happen?_

_Hell no._

"_I'll go back," he said firmly. "For my child, I need to go back. Besides, there is still so much to do." Kari watched him for a moment before smiling and nodding. She kissed him gently on the forehead and he could feel himself fade into sleep. Just before he went though he managed to ask, "What happened to that coyote?" Kari chuckled darkly as Harry finally faded away._

"_That coyote was me."_

-{-

Blinking slowly, Kat finally forced her eyes open. She could see the ceiling above her and knew she was in the infirmary. A gentle pressure and breathing alerted her to the fact that she was not alone. Confused, she looked down only to smile at the sight of familiar blonde hair. Slowly, with a lot more conscious effort then normal, she raised a single hand and stroked the hair gently. It was enough to wake the person who turned to her with sleepy grey eyes, making her smile grow.

"Hello Draco. I'm back."

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: How much trouble would I be in if I ended the story right there? Lol, I could totally do that too. Maybe I will. Don't know yet. Anyway, it's late so let's get to the reviews._

_Trexie: I'm good at cliffhangers. This is sort of one as well. Sorry if my final battle sucked but I can't write action scenes to save my life._

_Kristen Bradshaw: Lol, I love it when people react to my cliffy's like that. It makes it worth it to do it._

_Cascol3: More Harry/Kaitlin and Draco will be in the next chapter. Promise._

_Lakoma: I'm glad you like it! Eh? It's 'animagus'? (researches it) Holy crap! I didn't know that! I always read it in other Fanfiction as 'animungus'. I am so, so sorry. I swear never to write it as 'animungus' again. Crap, can't believe I did that._

_Slythindor Hybrid: He doesn't know yet cause he's a dense little git but we all love him._

_SunshineAndDaisies: We can blame his fighting at the front as insanity brought on by his wife leaving him. He really is a coward but he wanted so badly to prove himself to her._

_ReiShiroiAi: Kari gave Kat back her male form for the fight. It obviously ended with the fight as well. No, Kari is not part vampire or unicorn or anything like that. Her source of none human blood is actually much simpler and will be explained in due time. Harry doesn't have a tail for some reason that I can't be bothered to invent right now. And yes, Harry is pregnant as a male._

_Jazzylovestwilight: You've read this three times? Wow, you must really like it. It's winding up now so it shouldn't be much longer till the end. Just hold on a little bit longer._

_Fifespice: …WOW! You seriously reviewed every single chapter in one go! I loved them all. They made me feel so good. I don't know if she'll tell Draco the truth just yet but she will eventually. Promise._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	31. V is for Violence

It had been a month since the defeat of Voldemort. All the Deatheater's had been rounded up and sentenced to Azkaban with a couple notable exceptions. Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, and Severus Snape were cleared of charges because of new evidence that they had been spies for Harry Potter. The three Slytherin's were smart enough not to refute the evidence. Speaking of Harry Potter, the world went into mourning and great speeches were made about how the boy had sacrificed himself to save the world. The day would forever be known as Saint Potter Day.

Meanwhile, in a tiny corner of the infirmary at Hogwarts Kaitlin continued to recover. The Ra'Shel had given her back her life but her body and spirit had been badly damaged at the death of Harry. For weeks she'd been unable to summon enough strength to sit up on her own. Feeding had been a disaster, Pomfrey eventually resorting to the magic version of an IV. The raven was trying really hard not to think about what her bladder and bowels were doing. Magic kept her clean and that's all that mattered. No, that was second. What mattered most is that Draco never left her side.

From the second she'd woken up the blonde acted like a planet in orbit. When he got cramped and needed to stretch he'd stride around the room but he always came back. Numerous times the recommendation had been made for him to go out for a while but he refused. Blaise had finally demanded a reason and Kat had nearly cried at the response.

"I'm never letting go of her again."

After everything she'd said the raven had honestly expected Draco to hold a grudge. Hell, this was Draco Malfoy they were talking about. He was incapable of _not_ holding a grudge. But when Kat had gone to apologize he'd told her she didn't need to. He'd forgiven her as soon as she'd said the words. It was so strange; she wasn't sure how to react. All the scenarios she'd been prepared for didn't hold anything close to what had happened. Hell, only a couple had forgiveness in them at all and only after intense begging for it.

Other then Draco there was many visitors. Blaise and Pansy stayed whenever they could, to catch her up on the latest gossip. Narcissa and Lucius were also regular visitors. Nott visited whenever he could but he was often kept busy as he was chosen as the Slytherin spokesman. Each House had a spokesperson that answered general House questions whenever there were press talks. Hermione was chosen as Gryffindor's spokeswoman but still managed to visit Kat at night when Draco was asleep. Ron often accompanied her but he could somehow feel that Harry was truly dead and was a little awkward around Kaitlin.

The only people not to visit Kat were Sirius and Remus. They wanted to, very badly, but they were busy running around the world and rooting out all the Deatheaters. It was hard work and kept them away but they kept in contact through letters and fire-calling whenever possible.

The night was old when Kaitlin woke. Like normal there were no obvious signs that she'd just been woken from a nightmare. There was no shaking or gasping or sweat. Sure, her heart was beating its way out of her chest but she alone could feel that. Other then that her body was perfectly fine. So it didn't bother her as she slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position. As always, Draco's head was resting on her bed as he slept. His face was peaceful in a way it could only be as he slept. It always made Kat wonder if that was how he had looked as a child. Merlin knew, she didn't see it much anymore.

Lupus, who had somehow made it back from Dudley's, looked up as his master got out of bed. He could clearly see how pale she was and kept quiet. Normally he would at least wake up his master's mate but he could feel that just then she needed to be alone. That didn't mean he didn't watch her closely as she limped to the window sill and sat on it. He did whine slightly when he saw her tears but still didn't move. After all, he knew when his presence would do more harm then good. So he left his master to stare at the night sky without interruption.

"Something wrong?" Surprised, Kat turned around to see Draco awake and looked at her. He was blinking sleep out of his eyes but looking more awake every second. At least he wasn't lecturing her on being up like he had the first couple times. By then he'd learned that sometimes she would do what she wanted, rules and consequences be damned.

"I just had a nightmare," she said simply but didn't miss the flash of his eyes. Not the right thing to say then. Like it was a physical sight she could see his protective streak come out and flinched. This was when he was most dangerous. Now that he had a scent of the troubles he wasn't going to give up. Damn it all, why did she have to marry a stubborn man?

"What about?" he asked, his voice calm and controlled. That normally meant he was very upset or at least emotional inside. In this case she was betting on upset. For a moment she considered lying but…there was something about his eyes that made her reconsider. Finally, with a sigh, she turned back to the window.

"I killed people," she said quietly. "In the battle. I felt the wards fall somehow and came back. When I saw all the fighting I was so afraid that you were in the middle of it and all I wanted was to find you. So I didn't let anyone get in my way. When one did I…killed them. It didn't think about it; not really. I mean, if it was a student or an Auror I just pushed them aside but if it was a Deatheater I killed." Her eyes welled with tears. "I've never killed before, Dray. Never. I've gotten mad and I've cursed. Hell, indirectly I've been the cause of death for some people. But I've never killed. Now...I can't…I just-" Her voice broke as she clutched her mouth, trying to muffle the sobs. For a moment all was silent and then she was in her husband's arms. He didn't say anything; he just let her cry on his chest. For a moment she thought she felt a few teardrops on her head but ignored them.

"You have nightmares about those you killed?" he asked at last. Her sobs had devolved to sniffles but she still didn't have enough control to talk so she just shook her head. Knowing that it wouldn't be enough, she pulled herself together for a few moments.

"Not that," she rasped. "More, it's the feelings. I didn't care who I killed or how. So long as they were dead and out of the way. I was no better then…" Her voice trailed off, unable to continue.

"Then?" Apparently Draco wasn't going to let it go.

"Voldemort." The name was said quietly, almost not verbal at all, but it still made the blonde stiffen. For a moment it was totally silent, even their breaths could not be heard, but finally Draco pulled her back. Surprised, she looked up to see that his eyes were firm.

"You. Are. Nothing. Like. Him," he said quietly, stressing every word. "You are nothing like him. Do you want to know why? Yes, you didn't care when you killed those people but you care now. The Dark Lord…" A deep breath. "…Voldemort, never cared about who he killed. Not when he did it and not after. So the fact that you regret it now proves you aren't like him."

Kaitlin wanted to believe him, she really did, but she couldn't. There was blood on her hands and it wouldn't come off, no matter what he said. She could cover it up as much as she wanted but it would still be there. A stain that wouldn't fade as time went on. But how could she explain that to him?

"Don't say anything," he told her quietly. "I know you don't believe me yet. You being you, you'll probably never believe me on this. But what it ultimately comes down to is that no one will judge you for what you did. The fact that you killed and didn't care won't drive people away. Mum and dad, Blaise, Pansy, Theodore…me. None of us will look at you any differently for what you did. Isn't that enough?"

Was it? Was it enough to know that she wasn't hated or rejected? Was that enough to counteract the pain and hopelessness in her soul? She looked into his silver eyes and saw only warmth and love. They looked just as they had before she'd left. There was nothing new or changed in the gaze he saved for her alone. But was it enough?

"Yes," she whispered before leaning in to kiss him. It started out chaste and gentle but eventually she started pouring in her desperateness. Unconsciously she dug her fingers in to him, desperate not to lose him. Maybe, just maybe, she could have survived without him when her soul was still Harry. But the mere idea was inconceivable now.

Knowing the kiss would lead to something more, Draco reluctantly pulled back. Kat was still too weak to go beyond a kiss. Of course, he had to quickly look away when she gave him her puppy eyes. When he heard her snicker he growled but his eyes danced. It was the first time since the battle that she had shone any emotion. He knew the road was still a long one and may never end but at least they were moving forward once more. This time he'd do it right. This time, no matter what happened or what she said, he wouldn't let her go.

Settling her in the bed once more, Draco felt sleep swoop in to overtake him. Before he gave in though he managed to lean forward and whisper into his wife's ear. "The pain may never go away but you'll feel better when you realize that violence is seldom the answer." She thought about it for a moment before nodding and smiling at him gently.

As Draco drifted off to sleep, Kat thought about what he'd said. Since she'd arrived in the magic world she'd been told she'd have to fight. All her training was so that she would fight and kill Voldemort. Even though she was the first to preach forgiveness and peace, hate and battle had been the center of her life. When she saw it from that side the pain she felt at those deaths made sense. A part of her thought that violence was the only way and she was preparing herself for more. But once more, Draco was right. Violence was not the answer. It never had been and now, with Voldemort gone, it never would have to be again. She'd never again have to go into a situation knowing there would be blood on her hands.

Draco was asleep again within minutes but Kat couldn't sleep. Her thoughts were to scattered and confused for sleep to come. But her senses were also alert so she knew the second Lupus walked over to her and turned. The young wolf had something between his teeth and when she took it she saw her journal. Whispering her thanks to the pup she opened the book only to realize that she was nearly done. The newest word was there and made her smile grimly.

_Violence_

Seemed that word was showing up a lot recently. Luckily, she already knew what her response would be.

_You proved that VIOLENCE wasn't what I was seeking._

In **violence** we forget who we are. -Mary McCarthy

"I will never again forget who I am," she swore silently before putting the book down. Sleep was finally taking over; she had just enough strength to shift and lay down again, Draco's head resting on her stomach, before it overtook her. So she wasn't aware that as she slept the baby moved against her and its father for the first time.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: I know, it's been FOREVER since the last update. I am so, so sorry. School started and my life blew up in my face. Update's may get a bit spotty for a while as I settle into this new schedule but I swear that, as soon as possible, I will resume my updating once a day habit. So please just bear with me. Also, the poll of next stories is still up so if you haven't voted could you please? I need more input. Thank you. On to the reviews._

_Broken Angel1816: I'm glad you liked Dudley. I think he really wasn't that bad a boy after the dementors._

_Trexie: I would hate to write that sort of Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction. For that I would so do an AU so I could just skip the whole battle part. Vanilla ending? What does that mean?_

_ReiShiroiAi: Well, it won't end really soon. I've still got a way to go. After all, I'm only on letter V so there are between 5 and 7 more chapters. No, Draco didn't see Harry transform into Kat so he's still in the dark for a while yet._

_Xiahans: Lol, I like your roar. It's not quite that close to the ending but it will be soon._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Well, I couldn't just kill him off while pregnant, could I? I'm not that cruel. But yeah, I'm glad she chose to live as a girl too._

_Slythindor Hybrid: I'm sorry about the cliffie. I'll try and do less of them. Key word: try._

_Softball83: I'm writing more, promise, it just may take a while. Just hang in there for me, 'k?_

_Final thought: school sucks._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	32. W is for Wait

Kat had to smile as Draco winced. Okay, sure, when she stretched it looked like she was popping all her joints out of place. So what? It was comfortable. How had Remus described it? Oh yeah, the cat stretch. Hey, what worked. Cat stretch, Kat stretch. Damn it, she was more tired then she'd thought.

"I think that's enough for today," Draco said, echoing her thoughts. He had watched with anxious eyes from the other side of the room as she'd gone through her physical therapy. No one could explain it (since she wasn't talking) but her body had sustained heavy damage. Some of the novices had commented that it was like she'd been hit by many curses. Well, she had, or rather Harry had. She just couldn't tell them that. Still, it got her stuck in physical therapy which she was now struggling through. At first she'd been against the idea but once she'd learned that she couldn't even walk her arguments had become pointless. Even her stubbornness knew to bow to this demand.

"I agree," she told her husband, making her way to the wheelchair. At least she was walking on her own now, for short distances. Slightly longer ones required a cane but long distances demanded a wheelchair. It was boring and frustrating but Kat didn't dare cheat or ignore the orders. She'd tried that once and set her recovery back by weeks. That had been bad enough but she'd also upset Draco and that just wouldn't do.

"Hey girl!" Pansy called as the two Malfoy's left the room. Kat slowed her chair down, waiting for the other girl to reach them. As soon as she saw the beaming smile on her friend's face she knew it was good. Luckily, Pansy being Pansy, there was no suspense.

"I'm engaged!" Pansy squealed, a ring flashing on her hand. When all Draco did was blink in shock Kat rolled her eyes before smiling.

"Congratulations," she said sincerely. She knew how big a deal it was for the girl. On one of their many girl nights the slightly younger girl had confessed that she was worried that she would never get married. After all, everyone assumed she was engaged to Draco so boys didn't dare approach. Even the Suchen wasn't much help as most thought that Draco would still be possessive of his old girlfriend.

"I'm so happy for you Panse," Draco said, grabbing the girl in a hug. Kat wasn't jealous because she knew that their relationship was different. Not better or worse, just different. Well, that and the hug only lasted about three seconds. If he let _her_ go after five minutes it was considered a short hug.

Chatting about mundane things, the three Slytherin's made their way down to the commons. The school year was coming to a close but there were no tests or classes. Instead, everyone who had stayed at the castle was busy helping rebuild it. Some students and teachers who had been away and returned to help but most still remained outside the school. Dumbledore had already assured them that school would resume next year and that any and all make-up work would be done then. That was actually the last they'd heard from the Headmaster. He spent most of his time up in his room. The portraits that traveled to and from there said that the old wizard just stared out the window a lot. Speculation was that he was grieving for Harry. After all, the boy had been like a grandchild to him. It was expected for the loss to hit him hard.

That was one of the harder things that Kat had to deal with. Voldemort was gone and the Deatheaters were all rounded up. There was no reason to continue hiding her identity. She could prove she'd been Harry and save Dumbledore the pain he felt. Surely the magical world would be ecstatic at the news. But she kept silent. Her friendship with the Slytherin's was still to new and raw to survive such a revelation. Besides, what would Draco think? Sure, the considered Harry a hero like everyone else but there was no way the blonde could accept being married to someone who had once been a boy.

_And how do you know that?_ Zareb asked, hanging around Kaitlin's neck. _You thought there was no way he could forgive you for what you said before you left him. Yet he'd forgiven you before you came back. So how do you know what his reaction will be?_

"_I don't know. That's the point Zareb. I can't risk it."_

"Did you say something?" Draco asked. Kat just shook her head, hoping that she wasn't blushing. She hadn't meant for him to hear her! Curse it; she wasn't supposed to be using Parsletongue in public anyway. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

Draco knew a lie when he heard or saw it so he knew his wife lied when she shook her head. Anyone else and he would have pursued it but this time he let it go. She was probably just muttered about the nurses or physical therapy. Merlin knew, she did it often enough. True, this muttering sounded more like hissing but she was entitled to hiss. Although that rang that stupid bell of his again. How the hell did he know her in the past?

Just about to follow her friends to the dungeons, Kat saw Hermione looking at her. The bushy haired teen signaled for Kat to follow before taking off down the hall. Kaitlin made some hasty excuses to Draco before going after her. For a moment she was afraid that her husband was going to follow her but in the end he went on. Now she could just focus on catching her friend.

It took a while of playing cat-and-mouse but eventually Hermione led Kat to an abandoned classroom. After making sure they were alone the bushy haired girl hastily ushered the raven in. The room was dark upon entering but once the door was closed the lights came on. Blinking from the sudden change, Kat finally saw who was waiting for her.

"Sirius!" she squealed, leaping out of her wheelchair to be swept up in a spinning hug. Both participants were laughing as Remus just watched with a fond smile. Eventually they settled down and everyone sat together. Kat felt the instant everything went serious and tensed minutely. Sirius being serious was never a good thing. He was just too reckless and, well, insane to be serious.

"We have some bad news," Remus chose to start. "Or maybe some good news. It all depends on how you look at it. You see, it's about the potion." Kat tensed; she knew just which potion they were talking about. The one her father had made. "We've done a lot of research, even conned Severus into helping us and made a discovery. I had overestimated on the length of time the potion would affect you. It's no where near permanent. Six to nine months and you'll be a boy once more."

Kat stared at the werewolf in shock. A boy? She'd be a boy again? Not for a brief time like with that prank or the battle, but for good? That was great! It was perfect! It was…a disaster.

"Is there no way to stop it?" she asked. When all they did was blink in shock she rolled her eyes. "Don't get me wrong; I want to be a guy again as much as the next boy-turned-girl but things are complicated right now. Like, to begin with, I'm pregnant with Draco's child." More owl blinks. She'd told them that already, right? Oops, no she hadn't. Oh well, they knew now. "Also, in case you forgot, Harry died during the Final Battle. He can't just appear again. There would be so many plots and rumors that I'd never had a spare second." No response. They were still hung up on the pregnant part. Sighing, Kat just leaned back, content to wait for them to catch up with her.

"YOU'RE WHAT?" Sirius finally roared. Hermione and Remus jumped at the sudden noise but Kat just blinked lazily. She'd faced spirit Voldemort at the age of eleven. A basilisk at the age of twelve. A werewolf and dementors at thirteen. Voldemort himself at fourteen. Fifteen was Umbridge and the Ministry, with Voldemort added to the mix. Sixteen, Voldemort again and Inferi. There was no way a roar from her godfather was going to upset her.

"Pregnant," she said firmly. "I am pregnant. Draco Malfoy, my husband, is the father. I'm about…oh, I forget. At least five months pregnant. Maybe six. Since I didn't notice it for a while I can't tell you exactly how long I've been pregnant. Now back on subject. Is there anyway to stop me from becoming a male again?"

"No," Hermione said quietly. "If it's going to happen it will happen. Nothing will change that."

"Well that's just great," the raven muttered, leaning back into her chair. She vaguely heard the others chatting around her but ignored them. Instead she thought back to her word journal. It hadn't been till last night that she'd remembered that she'd burned the stupid thing. For a while she'd pondered over how it could be there, considering the burning, but had finally given up that angle and opened it. There had been yet another word but it hadn't made much sense.

_Wait_

'Wait for what?' she'd wondered but obediently wrote her answer. Once again, it was a thought that revolved around Draco. She was doing that a lot recently.

_You WAITED for me to grow._

Somewhere, something incredible is **waiting** to be known. -Carl Sagan

No sooner had the quote appeared then the baby had suddenly kicked. Kat had been ecstatic to feel her baby move. It was the best feeling in the world. And now she was about to lose it just because the potion might not last. For the first time since the prank Kaitlin found herself praying that she'd remain a girl. For her child and for Draco she had to stay a girl.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Well, only one day late this time. That's better then a week late, right? But it's now official. School sucks. I have eight different classes, EIGHT, and in EVERY SINGLE ONE THERE IS AT LEAST ONE PREGNANT PERSON! Don't get me wrong, I don't hate on them for being pregnant but I'm in high school. These are 16 and 17 year old girls getting pregnant. Tell me, what is wrong with this picture? But you aren't here to listen to me rant so let's get on to the reviews, shall we?_

_Tricorvus: TTFN means Ta-ta for now! I got it from Winnie the Pooh; Tigger says it all the time. Lol, I may write well but I doubt I'll ever be to professional level. Writing's more of a hobby. Once you get deadlines it sucks._

_K. Bradshaw: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I get your drift._

_Slythindor Hybrid: Be patient my friend, the revelation will not be much longer in coming. Just a few more chapters._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Draco's getting his act together and he really does love her. So it's all working out. Till now. :P_

_Softball83: I'm glad. Entertaining is the goal of all my stories. Score!_

_Vivienne: You realize I soooooooooooooooooooo don't care, right? No, seriously, I have read all the books but I was never trying all that hard to make this a canon story. I mean, hello, Harry turns into a girl. That sort of breaks away from the canon. This is just some fun nonsense that I decided to write. So long as it's interesting and entertaining I don't care how on or off it is._

_WickedlyMe: The starting was sort of slow so maybe it's better to show up later. Still, glad you like it so much. It's been a lot of fun to write and the story line, though frustrating, is one of my better ones. Hope you continue to enjoy!_

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	33. X, Y, and Z are for, I give up

"Congratulations to you all and good luck with your future," Dumbledore said at last. Before his voice had trailed off all the way the hall was filled with cheers. Kat didn't join in the chaos, choosing instead to lean against one of the pillars, a smile on her face as she watched her friends. It seemed fitting to her that they had their graduation party then. Wounds, both physical and mental, were still raw from the battle but they were alive. What better way to celebrate that then by graduating all the seventh years?

From where she was standing Kaitlin could see so many familiar faces. Ron and Hermione. Seamus. Dean. Neville. Luna. Cho. Pansy. Blaise. Theodore.

Draco.

The raven smiled when her blonde caught her eye. He smiled back and, bidding farewell to a Slytherin she didn't really know, made his way over. In a few moments he had her in his arms and she let him support her weight. Even though Pomfrey had said she didn't need the wheelchair anymore she still got tired rather easily. The baby was a large cause of that. After all, she was nearly seven months pregnant. If it weren't for the glamour she wore at all times anymore she would have been showing quite obviously. As is was her condition made her a little tenser around people but that was all.

"Tired?" Draco asked, knowing she was but letting her decide whether to lie or not. He hated that about her. She would push herself to absolute exauhstion and no one would now because she'd be smiling the whole time. Still, as long as he was there to catch her he'd let her stay a little longer. He wasn't sure why but he knew that this party, this affirmation of life, was what she'd been needing for the last couple months. Even before she'd left that time she'd needed this.

"Yes," she said honestly. "But can we stay just a few more minutes?" Every instinct he had screamed at Draco to take her away so she could rest but he didn't. Instead he just nodded and shifted so that she could lean on him and still see everyone. They were left a lone for a few blissful moments before Pansy skipped over.

"Hello Kat," Pansy said, nearly bursting with joy. Kat just smiled tiredly and nodded. She wasn't expecting the other girl to stay and chat so when that's just what the Slytherin did she perked up. "So," Pansy said with a sly smile, "did either of you finish up your journals?"

"No," Draco said flippantly. "I didn't go beyond the letter C. The whole thing was dumb and I have yet to figure out why the teacher's assigned it."

"I almost did," Kaitlin admitted as she watched Pansy sputter over Draco's words. "I made it all the way through W but then it all stopped. Maybe all the big things in my life are over now. Why do you ask?"

"Cause the whole thing was my idea," Pansy said, ignoring the sudden choking from Draco. "Most people don't know this but I was in therapy for a while because the Dark Lo…Voldemort killed my mother. At first things weren't really helping but then my therapist had me try the journal. The words were things I needed to confront and as I did that on paper it made confronting them in life so much easier. So then I thought about how so many students have stuff hanging over their heads and need to vent. When I told Dumbledore about the journal he was more then happy to have the students do it. Tell me, Kat, since you actually did it, did it help?"

Kat closed her eyes and thought about the journal. Had it helped? Every time it had confronted her with something major in her life, even though it often did it in a roundabout way. Yes, she'd had to face certain thoughts and feelings thanks to the journal. It made her think of different things and in different ways then she would have normally. She'd grown and changed for the better because of that.

"It helped a lot," she said honestly. Pansy wanted to squeal but noticed something. There was a softness and…vulnerability in Kat's eyes and voice. For some reason it had cost her a lot to admit that. So instead of gushing Pansy just nodded and smiled before walking off. Hey, she had some tact! She was a Slytherin after all.

"So what now?" Kaitlin asked once Pansy was gone. "We're officially graduates now and need to think of something to do."

"I'm going to work in the ministry," Draco said firmly. He'd been working to get into the building without using his fathers name and had finally succeeded. He would be working in the foreign relationship department, using his family name for good for once.

"That's great love," Kat said, "but I sort of meant right now. Normally graduates go out and enjoy their freedom before the whole job thing starts." Draco chuckled, slightly embarrassed that he'd missed that obvious question.

"Well, tomorrow you and I are just going to relax like it was summer but then the day after we're going to an amusement park." Kat pulled back and stared in shock.

"An amusement park? Like a muggle one?"

"Yes, unfortunately. The wizarding world hasn't quite gotten enough of a demand to make a magical one yet." Kat just kept staring in shock before Draco chuckled and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm not totally anti-muggle Kat. Just generally. Now come on. We've got a busy couple of days and you need to get your strength back." The raven shook her head at the protectivness of her mate but let him lead her away. An amusement park. Who would have thought?

-}-

"I'm never letting you pick a ride again," Draco gasped, trying really hard not to vomit. Blaise just smirked at him while Pansy tried to smother her giggles. At least Kat was sympathetic, rubbing his back and making sure he couldn't see her smile. She'd warned him not to go on the rollercoaster. She'd warned him it went upside down and really fast. But had he listened? No. So any sympathy he got was only because he was her husband.

"Pansy's turn," Theodore said, putting his arm around the girl's shoulder. He regretted it instantly as he realized what ride she would pick for them.

"Love slide!" she screeched, dashing over to the ride before the words were fully out of her mouth. The three boys groaned but Kat just shook her head. They seriously should have known better then to let Pansy pick a ride. But she still grabbed them and dragged them over to the line. If she was going to suffer the ride then they were going to be with her.

Kat and Draco got their own cart and headed on the ride before the other three. It was as bad as they feared. All pink and cute and cozy and, quite frankly, nauseating. Things would have been horrible if they hadn't started making jokes about how bad it was. By the end they were doubled over, laughing hysterically. Kat vaguely noticed the strange looks they were receiving but ignored them. She was having a fun time with her husband. Who cared what other people thought?

Getting out of the cart, Kaitlin suddenly winced. For a moment it felt like her whole body twinged, tensing and shaking before relaxing. Hermione had warned her about that. It meant her body was getting ready to return to a male form. The twinges were supposed to go on for a few months before the change and had started only a couple days before. So far no one had noticed but she knew that wouldn't last long.

The sun was finally going down when everyone decided that Kat would pick the last ride. She looked around for a moment before pointing to the ferris wheel. Like always, she and Draco got their own carriage while their friends got another. As the ride began and they started rising the two Malfoy's sat together in comfortable silence, staring out at the city. Yet again Kaitlin tried to figure out how to tell Draco that she had to leave him again. She didn't want to hurt him again but if they couldn't stop the change back to Harry she didn't have much of a choice.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Draco asked, his voice nearly silent. Kat tensed before sagging in defeat.

"Am I that obvious?" she asked ruefully. Draco managed a small smile though his eyes were sad.

"Only to me. So…why are you leaving this time?"

"Many reasons," she admitted, looking out at the city again. She couldn't meet his eyes for some reason. "I don't want to, really, but I can't see any way around this. Leaving was and still is my best option." Silence reigned for a while before Draco sighed.

"Will you come back?" he asked but her continued silence was his answer. "Well, will you at least keep in contact with me? Write and all that stuff?" That Kat did respond to, smiling gently and looking at him once more.

"That I can do," she whispered before leaning over and kissing him sadly on the lips. His lips barely brushed hers before he hugged her tightly. By that time they were on the ground once more and the door was opening. The two stepped out and gave each other one last kiss.

"I release you," Draco whispered, letting her see his tears. He clearly saw hers as she nodded, unable to speak, before turning and walking away. It was torture, keeping from running after her. He couldn't believe that it was all ending. After all that work first she and then he had put into keeping the marriage alive it was finally dead. This time there was no Voldemort to force them together. She wasn't coming back to him.

"Can't figure out if that was the ultimate act of love or stupidity." Turning, Draco saw a teen girl leaning against the rail near him. She had a cigerret in her mouth and was watching Kat with detached interest. For a second her silver eyes met his before she stood. For some reason he asked, "And this matter to you why?" The teen just smirked and shook her head.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she said wryly. "By the by, the name's Kari. Be seeing you around." And with that she walked off, hands in her pockets and ciggerret glowing brightly. Draco watched her for a moment more before turning only to see that Kat was out of sight. By the time his friends found him he was just standing there, tears falling silently down his cheeks. They knew better then to ask why. The silence stretched for a moment before Draco finally sighed. "Goodbye," he whispered to the wind before turning and walking away.

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: School sucks. Enough said. Although I'm getting better at figuring out what to do and how to manage my time so the update's may pick up again. Now that I only have two or three more chapters to write. :P On to the reviews!_

_ReiShiroiAi: Lol, yeah, I thought that Kat stretch would be fun. Umm…Pansy got engaged to a random guy. o I didn't feel creative enough to pick who. Nah, Kat has a much better way to tell Draco who she was. It's mature? Seriously? …that's good, right? I'm glad you liked the words so much cause they were a pain in the ass to get and work in. That's why I skipped the last three. ^^_

_Tricorvus: No, Kat has the baby on time and manages to stay female the whole time but then…whoops. I'm about to spoil it. Can't do that. Oh well, I promise that part will be in the next chapter._

_Lakoma: I actually haven't decided if she changes back or not. Guess we'll all have to wait and see. A baby at 14? There is something seriously wrong with the world. God, I can't imagine having a kid now and I'm 18. How do these younger girls do it? The only consolation I have is that at least they didn't abort the baby._

_SunshineAndDaisies: You'll find out if she changes next chapter. When that will be, I don't know. But I'm trying!_

_Slythindorclaw Hybrid: I think my school has some sort of program designed for pregnant teens that works around their whole pregnancy and early motherhood schedule thing so that they can finish their education even though their mothers. So a lot of pregnant girls transfer into my school for that so we have a higher average then most. I'll think about Kat staying a girl._

_Jazzylovestwilight: Draco will find out next chapter. Promise. I just won't promise when that chapter will come out._

_Pepsa: Mostly I agree but I may tweak things a bit to make it fun._

_Not lovin it: (shrugs) okay then. I don't actually care if you like it or not but thanks for the review anyway. Hope you find a story you actually like._


	34. And baby makes three

The rain was pounding down harder then anyone alive could remember. It was like the skies had truly opened up and were trying to drown the world. The sheer force of the falling water had chased every living thing to find shelter. Everything, that is, but one. A lone figure stood out in the middle of a field, ignoring the torrential rain. Their head was bowed and, really, it seemed like they weren't aware of anything. They weren't. Their thoughts were a million miles away on a person they would never see again. Two sets of eyes watched the person nervously but they knew better then to interfere.

"Think he'll be okay?" Pansy finally asked. Draco had been standing in the rain for hours and still hadn't moved. She was starting to get very worried.

"I don't think so," Blaise replied truthfully, his quite voice barely heard over the rain. "He won't be okay unless Kat returns. And let's face it, she's not coming back."

The Italian was right of course. Ever since Kat's departure Draco had virtually died. Oh sure, he went through the acts of living. He ate and slept and moved and spoke and responded. To people who didn't know him he hadn't been affected by his wife sudden absence at all. To those who did know him they knew his heart was as good as dead. There was never any emotion or passion in him. He was virtually on auto-pilot, making the movements but not aware of it. The hardest part to accept was that there was nothing they could do to help him.

Draco was unaware that his friends were watching him. He was barely aware of the fact that he was standing in the rain. All of him, his body, mind, and soul, felt numb. Numb was good. Numb meant that he didn't feel pain. But he wasn't numb enough. He could still feel that jagged part of his soul that he knew had once been filled with Kaitlin. She'd been ripped from his life and now all he had to remember her by was that hole.

Suddenly the rain grew harder, hiding the blonde from view. It was sudden enough to break through his numbness and he looked up in shock. The first thing he noticed was that he couldn't see Hogwarts anymore. The next was that, as suddenly as the rain had increased, it stopped. Not weakened. Stopped. There was no more rain. Instead Draco found himself surrounded by mist. Still confused, he just looked around, wondering what had happened. A soft breeze blew through, slow shredding the mist, and when it finally settled the Slytherin looked around at his new surroundings.

He wasn't in the field anymore. In fact, it looked like he was in a meadow. A merry stream wove through it, giving off the beautiful sound of moving water. Everything had a dream like cast to it for the sky was filled by the moon and the glade was flooded with its silvery light. Draco knew creatures were moving just behind the trees but he felt no threat. Actually, the only thing to really hold his attention was the flower right before him. It was small and delicate as he knelt down to touch it. Cornflower. It was a tiny cornflower, identical to the one on the necklace he'd given to Kat.

"So you finally got here." Draco knew he should be caught off guard but instead he just turned calmly. Leaning against one of the many trees was Kari. He remembered her from the amusement park. Well, she did say she'd see him later but this wasn't what he had in mind.

"Where's here?" he asked then frowned. That wasn't what he'd planned on asking.

"Haven," the teen said flippantly, rolling a cigarette between her fingers. "Don't ask me to explain it cause I can't. I don't understand it myself. Suffice to say it appears when it's needed although this is the first time it's appeared outside the forest. It normally likes to at least appear slightly normal. But enough on that. Here. Read this." She tossed him an envelope which he caught early. He had every intention of interrogating her only to realize that he was opening the letter and reading it. Damn it, did he have any control left on his body? All thoughts faded though when he read the first few words. It was like the glade held it's breath as he read the letter…to him…from Kaitlin.

_Dear Draco,_

_I know I can never full apologize for leaving you. Nor can I forgive myself for not telling you the truth. I was scared but that was no reason to leave. I can only imagine the pain I've caused you. If it's anything like the pain I have felt myself then I'm sure you will never forgive me._

_Despite how it might have looked, I never regretted what we had. You were my first in everything. My first love. My first kiss. My first partner. My first lover. For a while I hoped you'd be my first family. But then something happened that made that dream impossible._

_Draco, I want to tell you so badly why I ran. But I also want you to read this whole letter. If I were to put down why I ran now then you might not read the rest. And yet, if I put down the rest and then why I ran you may grow angrier. I know it looks like I'm trying to hide the reason but I'm not. Oh dear, I fear I'm getting off subject. Very well, I will trust that even after what I'm about to say you will read this whole letter._

_Draco, the reason I left was because I was pregnant. With your child._

_Now before you blow up at me I must continue. If I were merely pregnant with your child I would have told you with a second thought. I was so happy when I got the news. But certain things have made it where I simply can't tell you. That, dear Draco, is because though I am Kaitlin you know me by another name much better._

_Harry James Potter._

_Yes, it's me. Pick your jaw up off the floor. Sirius pulled a prank on me just before the school year started that turned me into a girl. All that extra sorting was a boon just then and the Sorting Hat insisted that I go to Slytherin this time. Remember, I tried to avoid you. I did everything possible to keep my distance form you. But then you were all sweet and charming and romantic. You tried so hard to woo me, how could I resist? Well, at first and then it sort of fell through but you got better. Getting close to you probably wasn't the best choice I ever made but I didn't see any harm in is. After all, Remus told me that I would be a girl the rest of my life. No reason I couldn't learn to enjoy it with the man I loved._

_But then the potion started to fade. It slowly began to fade and it became a matter of time before I returned to being a male. I didn't think you would want me once you knew. So, since I knew I was pregnant, I ran. Nothing was harder then leaving you that night, knowing I probably would never see you again. So many times I nearly turned back and ran into your arms. It was my own cowardice that kept me from it._

_But as I lay here now, nearly nine months gone with your child, I cannot bear the thought of you not being in their life. So I decided to come clean and write you. I hope this letter gets to you before the birth so that you can decide whether you come or not. Even if you don't if you want to be a part of the child's life I welcome you fully. I would never dream of keeping them from part of their family. You, and your parents, are welcome to see the child at any time. And in case you're wondering, I refused to learn the gender before hand. This way we'll both be surprised._

_Now, if you've made it this far, I want to share one last thing with you. It's something Pansy helped me do actually. Remind me to send her a big thank you gift; she helped me keep my sanity._

_First, I wanted to be an ANGEL because then I would be dead and at peace._

_Then, I learned to BELIEVE that everything would work out._

_Later, I gained the CONFIDENCE that all things would work out in time._

_Still, I regained my wish to DIE._

_But, I learned you were no longer my ENEMY._

_After, I saw what FAMILIES were meant to be like._

_Soon, I learned to see each GIFT for what it was._

_Slowly, I let myself HEAL._

_Contentedly, I began to IMAGINE what my life could grow to be._

_Sadly, I learned to fear all JOKES._

_Suddenly, I was faced with KIDS._

_Angry, I gave up on my LIFE._

_Forever, I prayed for a MIRACLE._

_Scared, I knew that I was NEEDY._

_And, I knew it was OVER._

_Yet, I was filled with the PAIN._

But then…

_You showed me that I shouldn't QUIT._

_You REMEMBERED me and all that I was._

_You brought me through the SADNESS._

_You taught me how to TRUST again._

_You UNDERSTOOD what was happening to me._

_You proved that VIOLENCE wasn't what I was seeking._

_You WAITED for me to grow._

_Never thought Pansy's word journal would actually help. Really must thank her someday._

_Never doubt one thing Draco. I love you. I always have and I always will._

_Harry Potter_

_(Kaitlin LeNair)_

All was silent in the glade as Draco finished the letter. He let it all sink in before folding the paper quietly and closing his eyes with a little sigh.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?" he suddenly screamed, making Kari jump. She'd thought he was taking it to well.

"Yeah, putting that aside, shouldn't you get moving?" she asked. Draco blinked at her before remembering what the letter had said. Kat was nearly nine months pregnant which meant she could give birth at any time. Damn it all!

Without pausing to say goodbye Draco dashed past Kari back into the real world. The teen listened to his footsteps disappear before smirking gently. Her eyes softened as she pulled out her final cigarette and lit it. Her job was officially done. She looked into the woods and smiled at the sight of her mother's giant wolf.

"Come on Lupus. Let's go home."

-}-

Kat was panting; trying so hard to remember those blasted breathing exercises. Merlin's beard, how did women go through this? She felt like she was being ripped in half. Oh why the hell did her contractions have to start right in the middle of that stupid order meeting? There had been no way to escape it so she'd had to suffer throughout the whole thing. By the time she was allowed to leave the contractions were so close Pomfrey had actually panicked. Like it or not, she was going to be holding her baby by the time night fell. And she was scared to death at the thought.

"Kaitlin, I need you to breathe," Pomfrey reminded firmly yet again. Kat glared at her but complied, trying to even out her ragged breaths. She cried out as her body twinged yet again, alerting her to her upcoming return to manhood. No way in hell was she going to change back right in the middle of giving birth. Nuh-uh. Not happening. She was scared enough as it was, she wasn't going to add more to the mix. Oh why couldn't Draco be there with her?

"Sirius, I swear, uncle or not, if you don't move this instant I'm turning your furry pelt into a rug!"

Blinking, Kat tried to sit up. That voice. It wasn't Ron's or Lupin's. It wasn't the voice of anyone that should be there. Actually, it sounded a lot like-

The door burst open, revealing a very tired and very soaked but very there blonde.

"Draco," Kat panted. Their eyes met for an instant before Draco was at her side, holding her close and whispering.

"You idiot," he breathed but there was no venom in his voice. "You complete and total idiot. I don't care who you were. All I care about is who you are. And right here, right now, you're Kaitlin Malfoy, my wife. If you turn back into Harry we'll deal with it then. Understood?" Sobbing in joy, Kat could only nod into his chest. Just then another contraction ripped through her and she cried out. Draco shifted so that he was supporting her as Pomfrey finally told Kat to start pushing.

"Dray, I love you," Kat panted as she started pushing. "But if you _ever_ put me through this again I'm castrating you. Got it?" Draco just chuckled and nodded doing his best not to let her crush his fingers. The minutes dragged on as Kat slowly pushed, panting and grunting the whole time. One final push and she cried out when she felt the pressure disappear. Her cry was instantly joined by another and all other thoughts fled from her mind. She'd done it. She'd given birth to hers and Draco's child. Tears of joy escaped her eyes as she finally allowed her body to collapse against her husband's. Her deep breathing caught his scent and made her sigh in contentment. Right then, right there, things were perfect.

Another twinge made her wince. Draco didn't miss it and held her close. "What's wrong?" he asked, worry clear in his voice. It took a moment for the pain to fade enough for Kat to answer.

"Changing twinge," she said tiredly. "I'll be turning into Harry any second now." She fell silent for a moment. "Dray, if I do change, what will happen to us?" Draco actually thought about it for a moment before leaning down and kissing her forehead softly.

"It will certainly take some getting used to," he admitted quietly. "But I honestly believe that Kaitlin and Harry are different only in body. You'll still be the person I fell in love with and we'll work it out. I'll admit, I'm not exactly keen on being gay but if that's the only way to stay with you I'll do it happily."

"Dray," Kat whispered before fire seared through her body. She arched into him, screaming, as her world turned white. For a moment she felt like she was suspended and just waiting to fall. Everything condensed so that all that existed was her and the change. Except the change wasn't happening. Confused, she looked around. Where she'd once thought there was nothing she now saw that she was in the middle of a circle. Actually, it was more like a web. At certain points in the web she saw a small design that bore the symbol of a Ra'Shel. There was a pulse through the web and Kat realized it was a heartbeat. No, more basic then that. It was life. For a moment all was still before she suddenly felt the consciousness of all six animals on her. Knowing a decision was being made, she stood still. Only a second passed before Tala appeared before her. The surly wolf looked at her for a moment before doing the unthinkable.

She smiled.

"Good luck," was all she said before Kat fell back to Earth. Landing in her own body was disconcerting but slowly the raven managed to refocus herself. She blinked bleary eyes to see her husband watching her tensely. For a moment she almost asked what happened before she finally felt her body again. A moment's shock was followed by intense relief and joy. She was still female. The Ra'Shel had kept her female.

"Is this permanent?" Draco asked, hardly letting himself hope. Therefore, when Kat nodded that it was, he finally allowed himself to cry in relief. He buried his face in her neck, hiding the tears as her hand gently stroked his head and she whispered to him. They stayed like that a moment longer before Pomfrey returned with their baby. After a little shifting Kat was cradled in Draco's arms as the baby was in hers. The two proud parents watched their daughter as the little one opened her eyes and looked around. Already those eyes were turning a misty green and her platinum hair was soft and long. It rang a bell in Kat's mind until it all connected. For a moment she stared in shock before groaning playfully and letting her head fall on Draco's chest. When her husband looked at her oddly she just gave him a crooked smile before looking at her baby once more.

"Hello Kari. Welcome to the world."

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Got it out the next day! Yes! Celebrate! I skipped homework to do this! Not good! Oh well, it was worth it. Hope you all liked it. All that's left is the epilogue and that shouldn't take to long. After that I may take a couple weeks break before tackling my next big project. I'll be doing seven stories at the same time and updating each weekly. Should be fun/maddening. On to the reviews!_

_Broken Angel1816: Crying is not allowed. But hey, at least you didn't have to wait long to get the next chapter, right?_

_Slythindorclaw Hybrid: She stayed a girl in the end. I think this qualifies as a happy ending even though it started sad. What do you think?_

_ Stabler 1983: It's okay, Draco's fine now. But thanks for your offer._

_Kitearakat: I'm glad you like it! Didn't have to wait to long for an update this time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing pregnant teens. One of my best friends has two kids and she's only nineteen. I just can't believe the sheer number of pregnant teens at my school._

_K. Bradshaw: Yeah well, with school be glad I updated at all, even if it is short. I ended up keep Kat a girl but it was pretty close._

_SunshineAndDaisies: He needs a lot more then a hug but he's good now. He has Kat and Kari (baby version) so things are finally looking up for him._

_Kaiistar: Hmm…don't know about the sequel. The epilogue I have planned wraps everything up rather nicely. I think so at least._

_Pepsa: I'm glad! And see, I updated the next day. Pretty fast, right?_

_WickedlyMe: Yep, 'nough said. Thank you!_

_Poisinrose: Kat didn't go on the rollercoaster. Draco did after Kat told him not to. She's not stupid enough to go on a ride that could hurt her baby. The love slide ride was based off of the tunnel of love so it wasn't all that strenuous. So it's all good._

_Thanks for reading! TTFN!_


	35. How it all ends

With a groan and a stretch, Kari finally opened her eyes once more. The silver moon shone down on her, turning the valley where she lay into a scene from a dream. For a moment all was silent save for the whisper of the creek beside her. It was a time of stillness, allowing her to pull her thoughts together and refinding herself.

Finally confident that all of her mind now resided within her body, the teen slowly sat up. Long disused muscles complained but she persisted. Training to be an Unspeakable had been more difficult then this…if she remembered correctly. Maybe not cause she couldn't believe anything could be more painful then this. Merlin, she was so stiff! Okay, sure, she'd been laying in the exact same position for nearly a year and a half but come on!

A quiet huff made the girl glance at the trees. She smiled as Lupus loped out, his amber eyes laughing as he watched her. There were times when he could be so annoying. Huffing in irritation, Kari finally managed to heave herself to her feet. She felt like the ground was moving for a moment before her balance returned and she was able to walk. With a final look of disdain for Lupus she strode out of the meadow and into the surrounding mist. For a moment she stood still, getting her bearings, before heading home. The woods were silent as she walked through them, the mist muffling all sights and sounds. She knew Lupus was following her but couldn't hear him and could only see a darker shadow to show where he was. Still, there was no fear in her. This was a path she had taken many times. She was fine.

Breaking free of the forest, the teen smiled at the sight of her family home. Her little siblings were running around the yard, shrieking in laughter as the puppies chased them. One of the house elves was running off somewhere, probably going to get one of the abandoned toys. Seeing a couple shocks of red hair she realized the Weasley's must have been visiting. That was a recipe for disaster.

Crossing the clearing between the woods and her home, Kari managed to sneak in without any of the kids seeing. She could hear her father and Uncle Ron arguing about something somewhere in the house but ignored it. Instead she swiped an apple and headed to the stairs. The sun had only barely risen so, unless things had changed in the last year and a half, her mother would be in the library, reading some random book.

Entering the library silently, the teen looked around for a moment before seeing her mother. Smiling, she walked forward, making sure there was enough noise that her mother knew she was there. As expected, her mother raised her head and smiled at the sight of her oldest child. Emerald green eyes glowed as the raven shut her book and opened her arms for a hug. "Hello Kari."

"Hey Kat," Kari said, giving her mother a gentle hug before settling at her feet. Lupus lay next to her, giving both woman his heat against the cold winter chill. The room was filled with comfortable silence for a while before Kari finally laid her head on her mother's lap, sighing as Kat began to run her fingers through the silver hair.

"Can I ask some questions now?" Kat asked quietly, not wanting to break the calm. Kari merely sighed and settled some more, already half asleep. Jumping through time was hard. "Alright. Since this is obviously the new future you made for us, what was it like before? How did I marry Draco and have you?"

"It was a lot more complicated the first time around," Kari admitted tiredly. "The resorting took place and you ended up in Slytherin. No one was really happy about that, Draco least of all. You and he still fought a lot and one day he managed to hit you with a curse he only barely knew. Something screwed up, like he mispronounced or something and you ended up being turned into a girl. I don't know much about it but from what I was told it was a lot more traumatic then the potion. Anyway, the curse had been outlawed centuries before because changing genders is so traumatic. Since it's easy to mix up with the curse Draco had meant to use though there is a small loophole that can be used. According to wizarding law, since Draco didn't mean to use it, he just had to marry you."

"I'll bet he loved that," Kat chuckled. It was sometimes hard to remember her husband as he had been before she'd been turned into a girl.

"Oh yeah," Kari smirked tiredly. "He was simply overjoyed. But he couldn't get out of it so he gave in. Of course, I think he actually screamed when he was told he'd have to have children with you anyway. He was so not happy about that. I think for the first three months of your marriage you two were constantly trying to kill each other. Then, one day, you were out in the forest, mad because of some argument you two had had, and Fenrir Greyback found you. He caught you unaware and would have killed you if Draco hadn't shown up. For reasons neither of you could ever explain to me, he saved you. After that the marriage got better. You actually settled down into Slytherin and got to be good friends with a lot of them. Of course, you and Uncle Severus never really got on. But then, you still don't, do you?"

"I don't think he's ever forgiven me for being Harry," Kat admitted. That was actually an understatement. The revelation of who she was had had some rather explosive results. Most of the teachers and staff had been tripping over themselves to apologize to her. Dumbledore in particular had been ecstatic to learn that his 'grandson' wasn't dead. But Snape…well, let's just say Kat still winced whenever she thought of his reaction. Last she'd heard he was still muttering to himself about her. Not that she ever went to go check on him herself.

Narcissa's and Lucius's reactions had been priceless as well. It had taken months to convince them that, no, Draco wasn't just making this up. Kat really had been Harry. To this day she could make some casual remark to the idea and would have both older Malfoy's stumbling over their words. She actually found it most amusing.

"Back to the story," Kari said through a yawn, "eventually you ended up pregnant. It wasn't an easy pregnancy since the curse didn't perform a true full sex change. There were many times when everyone was positive you would lose the baby. But I guess you and I were just too stubborn because you never did. About half way through your pregnancy Voldemort attacked. He was the one to have the Ra'Shel at the time but they didn't like him. Well, scratch that, they hated him. Their hatred was enough to give you the strength to defeat him. After his death they transferred to you and kept me alive. Then, upon my birth, they came to me." Her misty green eyes looked down at the charms embedded within her skin. "I guess they chose me for their next host or something like that."

The teen fell silent and Kat looked down to realize she was asleep. Her child looked so exhausted that the raven didn't have the heart to wake her. Instead she just shifted so that Kari's head was on the couch before covering her with an afghan. Convinced her eldest wouldn't catch a cold, Kat went back to reading. Silence reigned for a moment before she heard the door open again. She smiled as Draco slipped in, careful not to make to much noise. His eyes lit up at the sight of their daughter but he too did not disturb her. Instead he settled beside his wife and held her close.

"How long has she been home?" he asked quietly, just watching Kari breathe. It was his favorite past time, since that time she'd nearly died on a mission. There were still times when she'd stop breathing or would suddenly pale because her heart would stop for a few seconds.

"Only a couple minutes," Kat whispered back, leaning against her husband. "She was telling me how things had been before she changed everything. It was actually a little fascinating. I wonder how she'll cope with knowing two different versions to her life."

"I won't," Kari muttered, startling them both. Her eyes cracked open, glazed over with sleep but still aware enough. "It was all explained before I left. I'll sleep through today and tonight and when I get up tomorrow I'll have forgotten the old life. All I'll know is the life I made for you. And all I can say on that subject is that I think this one is much better." Her eyes shut again and her breathing evened out as she faded back into sleep. Her parents were silent for a moment longer before chuckling softly and getting up. Lupus watched them leave but didn't budge from his position before the fire. He knew Zareb was with his master so he would stay with young master and guard her.

"I wonder if there was any major difference in the last battle," Kat whispered as she closed the door. The smallest of breezes moved through the crack in the door, letting her hear Kari's last sleepy words.

"Well, in the old one, there was a giraffe."

A…giraffe?

XxXxXxXxX

_Babble time: Done! It sucks but I'm done! Okay, in case anyone is still confused, here we go. Kari grew up to be an Unspeakable, which everyone should know. A bunch of…basically NeoDeatheaters found a way to go back in time to kill Harry. The world couldn't let that happen so Kari was given the mission to stop them. She went to Haven where she was in a sort of trance, her spirit going back in time to save Harry while her body remained in her time. That's why she was constantly popping in and out of existence. She wasn't really there. Also, it turns out Harry was an elf so that's why Kari said she wasn't human. So…yeah. I think that ties up everything. Anything you still want to know? Just message me the question or put it in the review. On to the reviews!_

_Slythindorclaw Hybrid: I'm glad you liked it! Wasn't sure if it was good but now I feel much better about it._

_Kitearakat: Yeah, I put enough hints in about Kari I'm shocked more people didn't figure it out. Hope you like the epilogue even if it does suck._

_K. Bradshaw: Thank you._

_Broken Angel1816: It was sad when she left but it was good when she came back. And it's all good now._

_Missy-Mi: :)_

_Tricorvus: Hey, you're not supposed to shoot your nerves trying to figure out a story. Besides, it wasn't that suspenseful…right? I'm glad you liked it so much though. It was fun to write._

_SunshineAndDaisies: Cute and fluffy is good in small doses I guess. Glad you liked it!_

_Fannatastic: Well, I didn't really put in the reactions but I sort of generalized it. I'm sorry the story's ending but I can't take it forever. I'd go mad. Hope you like the epilogue._

_Thanks for reading! Goodbye!_


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